Geography quiz ends in a single page joke
A class of boys received a geography lesson. The teacher asks a student to locate Europe and the boy answers Page 68, revealing a humorous misunderstanding of the task.
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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mathews Journal
Location
Mathews, Virginia, United States of America
Date
Sep 28, 1905
Page
4
A class of boys received a geography lesson. The teacher asks a student to locate Europe and the boy answers Page 68, revealing a humorous misunderstanding of the task.
Mrs Emma White of Camden New Jersey suffered widespread eczema with shedding scales on her face and brows. After three unsuccessful doctors she used Cuticura Seap Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura Resolvent and brushed away scales leaving her face clean as ever.
A young contractor Frank E. Barnett of Roanoke was killed when his buggy was struck by an automobile driven by Archie Lewis son of W H Lewis of the Norfolk and Western shops. Barnett, 26, native of Bedford, died from a broken neck and fractured skull.
R G Dun reports a distinct year over year gain with reassuring crop outlook and active demand across dry goods millinery footwear and apparel. Bradstreet notes weekly wheat and corn exports rising with strong year comparisons and continued factory demand across iron steel machinery flour and saw mill sectors.
Baltimore reports mixed grain futures with flour steady and wheat, corn, oats, and rye showing varied contract levels and receipts. New York lists firmer oats, steady corn meal, and soy and cheese prices. Chicago notes cattle steady to lower, hogs higher, and sheep steady with lambs up to seven dollars.
A collage of brief items: King Edward enjoys bridge but opposes high play while U S and European rail laborers show wage gaps. Keir Hardy abandons shoes for sandals. A Berlin landlord sues over water use and claims daily baths are undignified. US Navy totals include 1 377 commissioned officers 169 warrants and 28 644 enlisted. Marine Corps counts 222 officers 6 821 men. Fraud investigations into naturalization by San Francisco grand jury. A sailor admits receiving citizenship papers for 15 dollars. Algeria olive oil exports rose to 2150 tons in 1904 from 930 in 1903 with a good 1903 04 crop. Milan Province hosts many mills and tens of thousands of workers in silk cotton and wool sectors. A Luzon stop en route to Port Exposition staged a dog feast near Seattle for a safe voyage with dancing and exercises.
Mrs Nellie Ryan known as Aunt Nell marks her 105th birthday at J W Brownlees home 52 Palisade Avenue West Hoboken. She credits simple living for longevity. she lights a pipe prays reads the Bible and eats tea and toast. She rents out six houses and keeps active daily rounds without aids. She rarely needs a doctor and her health and sight remain strong.
Firemen on a 60 foot ladder entered the second and third floors of the 2264 Seventh Avenue tenement, rescuing 21 families trapped by smoke and flames. Women and children, terrified, were carried or passively helped down as crews battled the blaze and evacuated residents.
A general alarm is issued for Clinton B. Fisk of 16 Central Park West, a noted newspaper man, who vanished from home last Saturday. Fisk recently returned from a River Crest sanatorium after illness and was seemingly cured five weeks ago.
In New York petroleum prices rise with Standard Oil advancing. Soft coal costs up five cents a ton in Western Pennsylvania. Gates reportedly resumes operations in Louisville and Nashville. Banking interests reportedly buy securities. St Paul chairman Miller says new stock at 1150 a share. Southern Railway stocks strong under Morgan influence. Hallgarten pool allegedly dissolved with Morgan buying most stock. Jersey Central directors re-elected. Baer denies coal operator conference. A Philadelphia clubman loses a large fortune in stock amid long-term holdings in United States Steel.
The article extols calcium carbide derived acetylene gas as a safe economical and brilliant rural lighting option. It explains the carbide production from coke or coal the compact lighting machine and easy installation in cellars or outbuildings and praises acetylene for its purity eye comfort and superior illumination for country homes.
The article extols buttermilk as a remedy and refreshing drink. It cites Tolstoy and Lauder Brunton praising its health benefits for digestion and tuberculosis, notes sour milk's lactic acid content, and attributes restorative properties to Metchnikoff. It also mentions koumiss as a related beverage and supports buttermilk for diabetics and as a refrigerant.
Rev Walpole Warren is asked by a child why multiplication makes people wicked. He questions the premise and the boy reads from his catechism asking if man grew worse as he began to multiply. The minister replies by noting his unfamiliarity with such a claim.
A Missouri woman recounts severe stomach troubles and weight loss until trying Grape-Nuts. She reports immediate digestion ease, relief from heartburn and gas, weight gain from 98 to 116 pounds, and renewed strength enabling housework. Name credited to Postum Co. Battle Creek Mich. Trial urged.
A reflective essay argues that many people stay on the beaten track due to circumstance and lethargy. It suggests transforming the majority into progressive citizens while praising the disciplined dullness of beaters but warns against criminal degeneration.
A supervisor at an insane asylum orders an inmate to whitewash walls. The inmate does a creditable job but leaves a space over the clock saying he does not believe in working overtime.
An advertisement extols Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a cure for female disorders causing nervousness and irritability. It claims to strengthen female organs and permanently fix displacements, citing a testimonial from Mrs. Ph. of Brooklyn and offering free advice from Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn, Massachusetts.
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