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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Marshfield Times
Location
Marshfield, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
May 22, 1912
Page
9
A garbled pastiche recounts ancient surgery lore and a joke about a doctor in old times. It mentions Damocles and a eunuch bearing a vase of gold, with a historian noting pearls scattered after the fall. Dialogues touch on certainty and a humorous exchange about money and wedding expectations.
Washington notes a Harmony Dinner on Dolly Madison’s birthday week with Mrs. Champ Clark presiding and a guest list including Mrs. Grover Cleveland and other leading Democratic figures. The event aims to project unity among Democratic women with speeches, music, and a focus on Democratic principles amid a backdrop of historical presidential lineage.
A physician recounts years of coffee induced heart palpitations and tea harms. After switching to Postum with proper preparation, his symptoms vanish except for rare irritations from coffee. He advises patients and friends to quit coffee for Postum. The ad emphasizes Postum Co Battle Creek Michigan and the booklet The Road to Wellville.
In this fragment a speaker questions if the giddy girl ever reflects seriously and another replies that she does so when a looklog Jetaas appears.
In Washington, South Carolina State Senator W H Stewart aims to place the Catawba Indians on the same basis as other tribes, seeking federal recognition and land allotment so they may become US citizens. He notes the Catawbas’ long friendship with settlers and contrasts them with the Cherokee conflicts. A bill may be introduced to address their status. Also included is a humor item about eggs versus steak from a Kansas City cafe.
A comic exchange shows a policeman dismissing window stone complaints from suffragettes outside, noting they have been at it for hours and that the crowd’s noise arouses the gin hand’s sympathy, with a humorous mispronunciation on the window.
An aged ad describes Murine eye drops for watery gritty eyes and granulated eyelids. It claims quick relief with a dentist compounded product and promotes a sales location at 276 Belvy in Aseplic Taner, by Marine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
A local wedding on the north side exposes a fractured romance. One suitor, cut out by Wombat, vows to attend and settle the score, possibly confronting him with an improvised weapon at the ceremony. The tense exchange hints at a plan to confront Wombat during the wedding.
Paxtine Antiseptic sprayed into nasal passages claims to cure catarrh with a surprising success. Sold at druggists for 26 cents a box or will be sent postpaid on receipt of price by The Paxton Toilet Co. Boston, Mass. The Star notes a humorous item about women humorists and a banquet joke featuring a hard pressed manager.
A playful excerpt describes Mary with a ring given by Berbeau that travels with her everywhere. She takes it along to tee with twenty three girls who react with astonishment and laughter at its display.
A New York editor muses on featuring a man who claims to understand birds. He proposes sending the man to interview a robin to see what he produces, weighing the idea as play up property.
A fragmented item discusses a man preferring work over politics. Garfield Ten is mentioned in an unclear context about keeping the “Kver In condition” and ensuring a clear head. It references drinking and a “hyppentic” cover over what is chewed, signaling uncertain health or lifestyle guidance.
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