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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Oct 12, 1905
Page
2
The Marble Hill Press issue from Hill & Chandler, publishers in Marble Hill Missouri, presents satirical quips and wry commentary on political figures and events. It references Taft, reformers, and professors, with humorous asides about society and legislative bodies.
A collection of curious notes: claims of unidentified thefts, airship feats, gravity demonstrations, a Chicago man fined for public decorum, Ethel Barrymore’s marriage rumor, Jupiter’s seventh moon, a Saturn race, Alfonso’s car accident, royalty gossip, and Isaiah’s warning about chariots. The items appear as brief, quirky items with no single cohesive event.
Report says Curzon's resignation raises Kitchener's prestige in India while Sir Redvers Buller is operating solo with no prestige.
The New York Times questions whether doctors can possess excessive knowledge, but it suggests most physicians can readily prove their innocence if challenged.
The Tombs caterer sues Nan Patterson seeking the return of a rabbit's foot claiming entitlement and plans to prove the item’s connection to the case by arguing Patterson escaped a conviction through a hare.
A fragment notes a Pegasus statue associated with Alfred Austin and hints at an ascribed saying “al sy nin” with a follow up line “Also tried to fly.” The reference comes from the Charleston News and Courier in a brief, archival item.
Statistics show 400 million Hirvana cigars manufactured in the United States last year. Some thing good and cheap must be provided for campaign smoking and election bets.
Railway companies begin to abolish the old age limit in hiring men to work for them. They have found that some employees gain value as they grow older, a surprising shift in hiring policy.
A lighthearted note recalls Mark Twain enduring a goat episode with humor, suggesting that even during his discomfort he found moments of amusement. The remark frames Twain's resilience and wit as a coping strength during misfortune.
Court orders were issued in Mount Vernon New York to restrain roosters from crowing dogs from barking bells tolling and locomotive whistles at night. The piece questions if Mount Vernon cats are spared while these animals face restrictions.
A Chicago man and his wife have entered divorce court claiming the dispute began when both wanted to occupy one chair. They say before marriage one chair would have sufficed, but a sermon beforehand led to tension that ended in divorce proceedings.
A Latrobe Pennsylvania church faces disruption after a pastor kissed a pretty girl, with many young women and older men in the congregation taking sides as the Chicago Record-Herald notes the scene.
Arizona voices frustration over its fate tied to New Mexico and its desire to gain regional influence, though the stance risks ongoing exclusion. The text reflects regional rivalry and an effort to secure a stronger role within the Southwest.
Professor Garner returns to Africa to resume his research on the monkey language. The venture has proved costly with expenses reaching nearly $1000 per word, a figure that may seem extravagant to a skeptical observer.
The piece notes that Kneipp therapy is accessible to all including Rockefeller, needing only bare feet and wet grass. It discusses a miserly husband who forced his wife and child to subsist on $2 for two months and others who give $5 monthly to support families may cut expenses to the bone.
In a brief remark about Mr Rockefeller's routine early morning walks, it is suggested that he could gain more exercise by stepping barefoot through a stubble field, rather than along paved paths.
In Courtland Maurice von Lynar and Princess Margaret plot to fool their foes as suspicions rise of a marriage to Ivan of Muscovy. Thora aids with a staged illness to delay companions and mask the couple's flight plan, while at Courtland the princes Ivan and Touls quarrel over Joan and power.
Architectural Record Magazine notes the American garden scene suffers from overdecorated stage sets and underdeveloped planting. Wealthy estates favor ready-made features over cohesive mass, with landscape planning lagging behind architecture in scale and technique.
The Mason and Dixon boundary line between Pennsylvania and Maryland and Virginia has been carefully reset. After years of neglect many marking stones were lost, but restoration by the two states promises long-term stability. The line, surveyed 1763 to 1767 by Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon, marked miles with P and B stones and arms of Baltimore and Penn. The term Mason and Dixon line later symbolized the divide between free and slave states.
A London Chronicle item recounts King Alfonso of Spain in Paris anecdotes. He allegedly shows prejudice against asses, helps a Spanish owner after his car hits a donkey near San Sebastian, and quips about no asses in his realm. In a tobacconist he mistakes a man for an anarchist, joking that police may blunder.
A Kansas City Times report recalls a policeman on a downtown corner being asked by a country man to locate his cousin named Smith. The officer directs him to stand in the crowd that might answer, suggesting an informal, crowd-sourced search method.
Joseph Stacy vanished from his Eliot home twenty six years ago and was presumed gone. He reappeared two weeks ago and said he had come home to die, then died within a week after returning. He had spent most of the intervening years in the West.
Dr Oliver B Hart aged 2 son of A B Hart of 19 Portland Place, once a St Louis physician, is under arrest in Rogers Park Chicago suburb for allegedly morphine poisoning his 10 year old adopted daughter Irene Krakow. He locked himself in a closet, taken morphine, and may die. His 15 year old wife left in St Louis is grief stricken.
Henry J. Lawrence head of the Independent Christian Zion Church vanished from Chicago with between 5100,000 and 5100,000 in cash. Sisters Mary and Anna reportedly left for Kansas City and his headquarters at 20 Hubbard Court and 190 Thirty-fifth street are being dismantled. Ten sisters and followers had been living with him.
President Roosevelt will visit New Orleans on October 26 despite yellow fever in the city. He will depart October 18 and return October 31, traveling to Richmond Virginia St Augustine Mobile Tuskegee Birmingham and Little Rock before finalizing in New Orleans. The itinerary avoids quarantine conflicts and minimizes risk to others.
In Lexington Kentucky on Saturday Dan Patch the famed son of Joe Patchen shattered the mile pacing record by three quarters of a second reducing the time from 1 56 to 1 551⁄3. A massive crowd watched as dozens of watches failed to beat the official 1 551⁄3 time.
The Harvard Observatory reports a new star in the constellation Aquilla near Cambridge mass. It reached about magnitude 6.5 on first sight and has since dimmed steadily. It is designated Nova Aquillae No 2 as the second star found in that group.
Frank Dawley a 30 year old mechanic in East Port Chester New Rochelle shot himself in the temple at his home. He left a wife and two children. Three weeks earlier he accidentally shot neighbor William E Wason in the thigh and was not arrested. Rumor of Wason dying led Dawley to act as a joke that turned deadly.
Caracas reports the government has ordered from Creosot Works in France thirty batteries of field artillery and twelve batteries of seventy millimeter mountain guns, expanding military capacity amid regional tensions.
Sioux City reports G. W. Coons of Woodbury County showcased a massive hog at the Onawa carni val 20 miles south of Sioux City weighing 1308 pounds and stretching 9 feet 5 inches in length, drawing attention from attendees.
Henry Leonard a 24 year old messenger from 586 East 156th Street admitted he looted National City Bank of 359000 in securities by forging a Hanover National Bank check with 41 percent daily interest. He claimed the crime was to prove how easily Wall Street can be robbed and said he sent 500000 worth of securities to Pearl Co. after obtaining them. Leonard appeared at Tombs court, held on $50000 bail for further examination, and left saying he did it on a bet.
Pat Crowe confesses with a named partner to plotting to kidnap John D. Rockefeller and demand two million dollars. The scheme followed the Cudahy kidnapping and targeted Rockefeller's forested Cleveland home near Forest Hill. Crowe recalls spying and plotting a night-time abduction, but the plan collapsed as his partner balked and later fled to New York and beyond.
Seven cars of dynamite piled in a ditch near Saddle in Brown Canon caused a tense moment for the train crew. After the collision there was no explosion, and the men stood on the ground in mute wonderment for a full minute before approaching the wreck.
In Salisbury Maryland, Nicholas Moore proclaims at age 83 that he has never ridden a train, not seen one up close, and has no desire to ride or see a train near him. He mocks railroads as nuisances, suggesting modern people chase unrealistic ten year life spans.
In Springfield South Dakota burglars broke into the Bank of Springfield between 2 and 3 am on Friday, blowing open the vault door and taking all the cash totaling 5200 dollars. Authorities seek suspects and evidence from the scene.
Helena reports Gov Toole honored Nebraska Gov Mickeys requisition for Pat Crowe on robbery charges. Agent Henry Heilfield will accompany Crowe to Butte for extradition.
Berlin reports the death of Professor Baron von Richthofen LL D longtime German foreign affairs secretary. He served in German Austrian and Franco German wars and joined the Foreign Office in 1876 later directing the Colonial Department and rising to under secretary of state. Ramsey says he will seek Ohio court appointment of inspectors for a Wabash election in Toledo.
Kansas City State Bank, suspended operations after Fidelity Trust Co took over obligations via the Clearing House Association, reveals President Wiley O. Cox owed $115,000 in a long held note. A $55,000 note by R J Smith is also tied to the bank’s failures, with four directors pledging fortunes to cover depositor payments as Fidelity holds assets valued above $7 million. The bank’s capital stock stood at $200,000 and links to Salmon & Salmon of Clinton are noted.
In Colon and along the canal zone labor tensions rise over recruitment methods for the Panama Canal project. About 650 Martinique laborers refused to disembark or be vaccinated, with 500 persuaded to land on Saturday and 150 remaining aboard. Police sailors reportedly forced the remaining men ashore after clashes, leaving several injured.
In Granville Vermont fourteen men are believed killed Friday in a cave-in at the Vermont Slate Company quarry near Granville. J B Williams company president and foreman Warren Queen were buried. Queen survived. Williams killed. By noon four bodies were recovered as doctors and nurses rushed to the scene.
Little Rock plans elaborate decor for President Roosevelts October 25 visit. Massive arches will line streets and buildings will be draped in national colors. Space at the stand reserved for thousands of school children who will sing several songs.
A dispute within the Calais Municipal Council over buying a disused convent led to a member spitting on another and a free fight breaking out. Police restored order after several councilors were severely mauled.
Philadelphia reports F Fugue of Pendleton Indiana a Swarthmore College student is hospitalized in serious condition after football practice. Doctors fear for his life due to brain hemorrhage and have little hope of recovery.
Berlin report states 12 year old schoolmate died after being scared by a boy named Robert Kalisch who entered his room wearing a white shirt and with a whitened face. The incident occurred in Neustadt and features a 1% year old mention likely an OCR error.
In Angers a storm dropped millions of tiny red green and yellow insects for hours. The mass invasion clogged water pipes, and 50 humerous were cleared by carts in a swift cleanup.
Shanghai customs revenue for the second quarter rose by about 2 million dollars compared to the same quarter last year. The increase indicates stronger trade activity and higher assessed duties, reflecting improved fiscal intake for the port authorities this quarter.
Workmen blasting for a cellar uncovered a smooth rock that resisted drilling. After chipping a piece off, they took it to mineralogists who pronounced it a meteorite.
In Edna Texas rewards offered for the apprehension of Monk Gibson and five members of the Condit family slayings were increased to 1100 dollars.
Seven bandits used dynamite to stop a Great Northern overland train in Seattle suburbs Monday night. They looted the express car safe, then fled eastward as the train continued. One express messenger Charles Anderson is said to be slightly wounded. Initial reports varied about the number of robbers and the amount stolen, with some saying thousands. Two boys attempted passenger robberies during the uproar but were captured and denied any complicity.
Governor Lanhans orders two Houston military companies to Edna as crowds threaten to burn Monk Gibson, the negro accused in the Conditt family murder. Gibson escaped a Navidad River jungle search, prompting a mass manhunt across Edna and nearby towns with fresh horses, axes, and hundreds of volunteers aiding Beasley and 200 men.
In Los Angeles area Public Administrator D C McGarvin found $2000 in gold behind a slot machine near Calabasas. The sum belonged to Jacques La Salle, an elderly hermit who killed himself after years alone in a shack. He left no known will or relatives, and the discovery stirred Calabasas excitement.
A group of 25 leading Los Angeles businessmen proposes a Gotham style saloon system to replace the citys 200 private saloons. They would pay the city 180000 annually for 200 licenses, reduce to 25 saloons, acquire furniture fixtures and goodwill, pay 6 percent dividends to stockholders, and devote remaining profits to the city treasury.
A posse of Brook county deputies and Wheeling police searches Brook county for Robt. Fowlkes a black man who killed Jos. Anderson and is also wanted for killing his wife in Steubenville. Believed hiding near the Pennsylvania line he is considered dangerous and likely to fight.
Reports from Edna Texas indicate that Monk Gibson has made his escape and no trace of the negro has been reported since Sunday. The town is quiet.
Louis Carmichael, credited with nominating Horace Greeley in 1872, was found dead in a barn at Sydney aged 83. The death closes a long career linked to 19th century politics in northern New York. The report notes his notable role in the Greeley nomination and his advanced age.
Leonard Seibert died at his home at 75. He was a veteran employee of the Alton shops and built the first Pullman sleeping car under the personal supervision of George M. Pullman.
New York magistrate Pool reduced bail for Henry A. Leonard, accused of stealing 359000 dollars in securities from National City Bank last week, from 25000 to 10000, on Friday.
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