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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Nov 09, 1905
Page
2
The Marble Hill Press column humorously surveys quirky notes from American life. It mocks imitation butter politics, a suggestive trolley dream, caste jokes, a football coach’s stance, and playful quips about stockings, marriages, and a cow milking machine versus still cows.
A Japanese girl seeks employment in a San Francisco telephone office as locals take swearing lessons from a Japanese man in a curious cultural exchange scene.
In a light moment the comedian group is given a new opening line while John D. Rockefeller remarks he feels like a sponge. The crowd reacts to the rapid fire repartee with 235 jokes appearing suitable for swift exchange.
Wall Street will likely award a medal or testimonial to the man who entered Russell Sage for 21095 dollars.
A critic suggests Americans eat too much and work too little and that Tom Edison should walk around his shop to learn the facts about daily life.
The remark suggests a moral twist that men famed for virtue reveal embezzling behavior, while those living less exemplary lives are less inclined to commit such acts. It implies a critique of public assumptions about character and crime.
A folk belief clash unfolds as many say Friday the 13th is unlucky for marriages while others insist any wedding date can bring misfortune. The discussion highlights cultural anxiety around luck and timing innuendos of fate.
A quip suggests if a husband’s pocket were as hard to find as his wife’s, there would be no need for a rat trap for protection. The remark plays on domestic economy and jokes about valuables and vigilance in a light editorial tone.
Carnegie calls on the five leading nations to form a united front to promote peace worldwide. He warns that if these powers convene they may end up fighting each other, highlighting the paradox at the heart of global diplomacy.
A European scientist notes mankind’s origin in trees aligning with Darwin era ideas. The claim echoes longstanding views that human evolution involved primate ancestors and arboreal life, a notion long debated among scholars.
A Boston tailor killed himself after customers refused to pay. The act appears to be a response to nonpayment, leaving the public to consider that those who owed him may now need to settle accounts elsewhere with deposits required.
Aunt Ann TDetts of East Orange New Jersey marked her 102nd birthday last week showing she never spent time in the poorhouse and avoided whisky and tobacco. The centenarian’s longevity is noted as remarkable for New Jersey.
Joe Leiter’s view defines stealing as borrowing a scarfpin then pawning it, a scheme that uses a hock shop. The remark questions the presumed simplicity of theft and notes that a pawnshop isn’t always nearby.
A visiting Russian writes a concise critique of America within about 1400 words, outlining dislikes in culture, society, and polity. An American replying in kind would require a comparable length to enumerate grievances about Russia, highlighting mutual sharp observations between the two nations.
The Newburyport News quotes The Globe guessing reasons rich girls select a coachman. It mocks the idea by noting scientists say the coachman drives with one hand, making him uniquely safe. The column blends satire about status and skill in driving.
An intense explorer reports finding a tree in the tropics that leaks boiled chee. He notes adding trat and minheepie plants, egg plants, an oyster plant and milk weed in his yard, musing on the ease of work with such bounty.
Reports describe deadly riots in Tver Odessa Kiev and Minsk with troops Cossacks and volunteers engaging rioters. Casualties mount as buildings burn and hospitals fill. protests linked to constitutional reforms and anti autocratic sentiment surge through major cities.
Chas J Devlin a well known coal mine operator once in bankruptcy with 4 million in liabilities died at St Elizabeth's Hospital Chicago from a brain hemorrhage after a stroke. He had a prior stroke last summer and passed away after several days bed rest with his wife and five children. His remains will go to LaSalle Illinois.
In Topeka Kansas the governor freed Charles W Brown from Ryley County Jail on condition he return home to harvest corn. He was serving three months for beating his wife. The pardon followed a request by Mrs Brown who said she could not find help to harvest the crop.
Mrs W W Wilson of Austin NL wintering in LA claims anti-race death by own action prize. She has now three sets of multiples all healthy five children include twins and triplets. Wilson family has strong twins lineage with several aunts and uncles also parents of twins.
In Hunteville Alabama a Negro dance in Chelsey village ended in gunfire. Ida Branch was shot through the head and killed. Sam Ruffin of Weatur fired into the crowd wounding Cliff Travel Walter Bell Mary McDonnell and an unknown woman before escaping.
Pittsburg district attorney says Edward G Cunliffe the express robber will be sentenced Tuesday November 11. Cunliffe pleaded guilty to two charges of larceny and faces up to six years in the penitentiary.
Frank Chandler of Newtown, initially kicked by seven men on Tuesday in Milan, Mo., died from injuries Saturday. Police investigation continues into the fatal assault and the suspects.
After a quiet night shooting resumed Friday morning. The Red Cross treats the wounded while hotels remain filled with Jews seeking refuge. Police, with infantry, placard notices urging citizens to stay indoors. Officials blame Jews or cite St Petersburg, while a general links the riots to Jewish celebrations of the manifesto.
In St Louis a 11 year old Palona Scheppacher found nearly 1000 counterfeit coins in a vacant lot, including half dollars quarters and dimes. Secret service and city detectives search for molds and the counterfeiters as the case becomes St Louis’s largest recent counterfeit discovery. In Mexico Mo a dispatch from Omaha may help Mrs Kate Martin locate her long lost daughter Minnie Simons now believed to be Mrs Fred McDowell of Kansas City, with the search continuing after a tip linked the two women.
The State Supreme Court refused to grant a writ of habeas corpus for Lee DeFord, Altamont bank cashier, serving an eight year term for receiving bank funds during its failure. DeFord argued credit for good behavior would release him after eighteen months and six years total. court notes consecutive sentences extend six years with no complete early release. Governor pardon or sentence commutation considered.
Jefferson City reports Governor Folk and his wife still reside at the Madison House a week after the Executive Mansion fire. Carpenters say it may take a month to finish repairs as damp interiors persist and charred woodwork remains in several rooms. Folk continues daily at his capital office handling official duties.
Assistant Attorney General Rush C. Lake arrived in Kansas City on a brief trip. He oversees gathering evidence in the Standard 671 case and has traveled the East gathering witnesses with satisfactory results to the Attorney General. This week Standard Oil will ask the Supreme Court whether a corporation has the constitutional right not to testify against itself.
In Quion Indiana on a Thursday night, four burglars tried to loot a local bank with nitroglycerin blasting two safe doors. They gagged citizen Jacob Shields, left him on the sidewalk, and fled after failing to reach the money vault containing 6000. Shields could not identify the robbers. A pursuit began but yielded no capture amid a string of Indiana and Kentucky bank robberies.
Boston has Dr Perc y D Mc Leod in custody after information from New York alleges he dismembered Susanna Geary. In New York two men, William Howard and Albert H Emery, were arrested for homicide tied to the same suitcase murder. Howard confessed detailing the disposal of the body, with Emery linked as Crawford, son in law of Mrs G Bishop in Boston. Acting Inspector Stephen O’Brien notes the confession and actions.
Robbers gained entry with tools from a blacksmith shop, demolishing the vault and badly damaging the safe at the Bank of Creighton in Creighton Cass County. About $1,000 was stolen. No arrest yet. W F Keever Sedalia secretary of the Missouri Bankers Association offers a $1,000 reward for each robber. Bank insured with Ocean Accident and Guarantee Corp.
Leslie Jones, son of Newton Jones, a retired Cuba merchant, was shot three times by Wesley Cheney at Cheney’s home Sunday night. Jones is in serious condition with fears of fatal injuries. Neighbors say the Cheney family, recently moved to Cuba, objected to Jones calling on Cheney’s daughter following a family quarrel.
Harriman interests secure contracts to build the St Joseph Albany and Des Moines line from St Joseph to Des Moines Iowa. Promoter FP S Mordaunt of Chicago notes the 192 mile route with most right of way secured. Connection with the Iowa Falls line at Des Moines links to Hampton Iowa forming a Minneapolis to St Joseph Kansas City route.
Cincinnati coroner and Mount Vernon police report stuart l pierson, a Kenyon freshman, killed by a train while waiting to be initiated into delta kappa epsilon. coroner scarborough says fellow students fed him to the railroad, intending mere fright, but an extra train arrived early and he could not be freed.
The courtOrdered change sets law license examinations for applicants in Jefferson City on the third Monday in January and June in St Louis on the second Monday in October and the first Monday in March in Kansas City on the Thursday after the second Monday in October and the first Monday in March each year.
The Southwest Telephone Company lines were purchased by Missouri and Kansas Telephone Company, a Bell concern. The deal covers all of Lawrence and Barry counties and parts of Newton, McDonald and Greene counties with exchanges at Pierce City, Mount Vernon, Monett, and many other towns between Carthage and Springfield. An extensive new exchange is nearing completion at Aurora.
The Census Bureau issues a special report noting St Louis manufacturing value grew from 193,691,695 in 1800 to 267,029,314 in 1905. Employee salaries and wages rose in proportion to the output, reflecting broader economic growth across the period.
Doctor Bradley an Atlanta pastor dismissed on heresy charges and named to succeed Doctor Lee at St. John's Church in St. Louis. St. Louis medical men question the German cure for appendicitis amid ongoing debate over treatment efficacy.
Elias Johnson was found guilty of murdering his wife on November 8, 1904, after a Saline county case was moved to Lexington. The jury, with eleven voting for hanging and one for ninety-nine years, fixed his punishment at ninety-nine years in the penitentiary.
In Kingsville five miles west of Holden Missouri, Sunday night robbers attempted to blast the post office safe and steal pennies. The bank vault was blown open but the safe remained intact. private papers lay scattered. No crew was found.
C J Steele of Marshall Missouri formerly of this place was found dead in his room at the Burnside Hotel Saturday evening. He was about 21 years old and has a father and brother in Placer Oregon. The Coroners jury reported that he had died of apoplexy.
Snow fell Sunday night in Butler as the first winter storm of the season dusted Western Missouri. The four hour snowfall melted quickly afterward, leaving lingering wet streets.
Governor Folk addresses large crowds in Springfield and Cincinnati denouncing machine politics in the latter city. He frames the issue as a stand for reform and clean governance amid partisan tensions and public frustration.
At a club meeting, women outlined better tenement housing for St Louis and debated additional improvements.
In Chicago a grain rate conference yielded assurances to St Louis shippers. Erie Railroad announced it does not plan to enter St Louis at present.
Smoke rose from the former William Hoops Co. grain and feed site on South Street near the docks, turning the area into a Mount Pelee like scene. Workers at the wharves watched for days as the long lasting fire persisted nearly two years after the great conflagration.
In Lienchow, Hong Kong, four American missionaries and the child of one were murdered. The victims include Dr Eleanor Chestnut Mrs E C Mabhle and child and Mr and Mrs Peale. Details are not yet received.
Festus Mo Henry Frey a 23 year old brakeman on the Mississippi river and Bonne Terre railway was killed here while making a coupling He was single.
London announces King Edward appoints Col Sir Claude Macdonald minister to Tokyo as first British ambassador to Japan. Arthur J Herbert named first British minister to Norway. Armour car lines defy Interstate Commerce Commission challenging its jurisdiction over private company matters.
A dispatch from Odessa reports widespread panic as mobs clash with police and Cossacks. Civilians flee while homes are bolted and gunfire erupts. thousands killed or wounded, with Jewish quarters hardest hit and reprisals feared. Military reinforcements deploy as mobs vow no Jews remain alive. Warsaw telegrams note rail and street disorder spreading, with strikes, arson, and troops discharging into the air.
St Petersburg erupts after celebration of constitutional promises as crowds of about 200000 gather on Nevsky Prospect and near Kazan Cathedral demanding amnesty for political prisoners. They hope Bastille gates open while Count Witte becomes minister and emperor signs manifesto directing civil liberties and new electoral arrangements.
Chicago TI Dr. Oliver B. Hart has been formally indicted for first degree murder for poisoning Irene Krakow three weeks ago. The case centers on the alleged lethal act and ongoing legal proceedings.
Lemuel Carmichael of Davenport allegedly suffered a sudden neuralgic attack and killed himself by plunging into a milk vat intended for local trade in Des Moines Iowa.
The cruiser West Virginia leading the President, with Pennsylvan ia and Colorado, topped the navy speed record by maintaining 20 knots from Jupiter Inlet off the Florida coast to Savannah Georgia under adverse weather. Cold weather hurts retail trade and transport.
The Shanghai report says the attack on Admiral Train and his son Lieutenant Train spurs a threat to use force if needed. The matter has been referred to the Governor of Nankin for settlement as Americans here demand punishment for the mob leaders.
Eugene Field Day was observed in Sedalia graded schools with field stories read anecdotes related and Lite Boy Blue set to music sung by students.
The Navy Department received and reviews the court martial record of Commander Lucien Young who commanded the Bennington during the San Diego Harbor explosion. The sentence reportedly is a severe reprimand. Police have located a physician after the Geary case death mystery surfaced.
Mexico City reports Ambassador Casasus his wife and seven children with Dr Abell depart through Laredo en route to the United States. They will stop at several points and attend a banquet in St Louis in the ambassador’s honor. He is fully recovered from a recent illness. Texas crop reports indicate the state’s cotton yield is 800000 bales below last year.
In Mobile a 20 year old Mrs Mabel Turner wife of Frank Turner and daughter of a Baptist preacher killed her husband after a quarrel over attending a party. The coroner's jury found her guilty of manslaughter. She says she thought the revolver was unloaded. Missouri Kansas & Texas plans a $1,000,000 locomotive shops project.
The Daughters of the Confederacy executive committee selected M. H. Rice of Kansas City to erect the memorial monument in the Confederate Home Cemetery. The project costs $5,000 and is set for unveiling in June.
Rear Admiral Hae states the American Navy cannot win battles due to a shortage of competent engineers, highlighting critical weaknesses in personnel and technical expertise.
The Washington bank president releases letters alleging Standard Oil profits from a secret bondholder list. The documents claim government bonds are used to boost earnings via undisclosed channels, tying a major energy firm to covert financial schemes.
The Comptroller of the Currency orders the Farmers' National Bank of Krieg fisher closed. The bank belonged to the same owners as the defunct Denver and South McAlester banks.
The Russian sovereign orders warships to Finland to curb a potential uprising while an amnesty decree has been signed, signaling a tense crackdown and plea for peace.
A clock in the tower of the new Naval College at Dartmouth England will strike the same time as aboard ships marking 6 4 bells and related timing signals aligning with naval practice.
Two years of painful eczema in a young girl caused sleepless nights for her mother in Addington Indiana. After trying many remedies without relief, one box of Cuticura Ointment two bottles of Resolve and the Cuticura Soap provided a permanent cure.
Jerez Spain, center of the Sherry wine trade, has no street care despite a population of about 10 000 inhabitants.
Reports from Casper Wyoming say Shaoshone town lots on The Chicago and North Western Railway line near the Wind River Reservation are selling rapidly. Buyers anticipate growth when the Indian Reservation opens next June, with many lots already disposed of.
A Swede aiming to flee the country started for the steamer with a friend. As they reached the dock the boat was leaving and the pair shouted in playful slang that they could melt away in a few moments.
A fragment warns that cities are crowded with no prospect of shrinking populations. It cautions readers not to chase the foolhardy lure of urban life and compares dwellers to moths drawn to a great city candle.
The tallest tree on record is a eucalyptus colossea in the Dandenong mountains near Melbourne Australia. It stands about 494 feet high, surpassing California’s tallest trees by 25 feet.
A young couple advertises a swift sale of a seven room furnished home including best furniture and a piano for a bargain. They plan to move to the country within eight days to fulfil a stated purpose.
Tiinton Kentucky October 30th Special It has long been claimed that diabetes is incurable but Mr FE J Thompson a teacher in the Hinton school has pleasing evidence to the contrary He says he was troubled with kidney problems for more than two years and after using Dodds Kidney Pills he is now in good health He credits the pills with his recovery noting doctors previously said diabetes could not be cured
A stray line from Stray Stories notes a man’s humorous reply about his fiancée. He says she always gets a seat in a crowded streetcar, implying charm and courtesy without bragging. The quip reflects social wit and urban life.
French Gulch California has no jail or city prison. Men arrested are handcuffed and tied to an anvil until released on preliminary examination or sent to the county jail for detention.
An Arizona stockman reported a lion tracked to his lair and killed. Eleven calves lay dead nearby, all slain within a short span, indicating a destructive predation event in the area.
The Countess of Jersey appears as a cultivated, quick-witted figure in society circles. Descriptions highlight her reading, thinking, and energetic globe trotting as a prominent social presence.
A reflective line notes the value of studying real people from history and their susceptibility to harm. It emphasizes how the character and actions of past generations reveal enduring human traits. The thought critiques abstraction and champions grounded, living examples.
Paris reports 400 personal crisis incidents per million annually while London records 4 per million, indicating London has far fewer personal crises than Paris among great capitals. The comparison highlights divergent stress indicators between the two cities.
The piece notes a contemporary view that wage demands and shorter hours define the century. It highlights growing dissatisfaction as workers seek more pay with less labor, reflecting broad social shifts and economic tension.
A testimonial recalls a shift from coffee to Postum after a doctor warned against coffee. The subject reports reduced nervousness and heart trouble, increased endurance, and no late weakness. The user claims the product strengthens the body and provides reliable energy, and that it benefits all their children as well. The advertisement cites Postum Co. of Battle Creek, Michigan and references The Road to Wellville booklet.
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