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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
May 26, 1904
Page
2
A collection of wry maxims and satirical observations appears in Marble Hill Missouris Marble Hill Press. The pieces touch on politics money love and society with quips about Naples Paris and Chicago figures. A scattered humor piece reflects early 20th century news humor.
Jessie Carden visits a coastal farm and attracts Arthur Morris amid family tensions with Randolph Morris. Gen Carden warns of powerful rivals, while John Burt grows jealous. A clambake en route to Cohasset tests loyalties as Arthur hosts New York friends on a yacht.
The remark notes that condensing political campaigns is an earthly impossibility, though it would be beneficial if campaigns could be materially shortened.
In support of Prof. Coes assertion that baseball ties into a boy’s religious life, attention is drawn to the career of the Reverend William Jam Sunday.
Lieut Rutropoff was seriously wounded on the pontoon near Khius san recently. Reports say he Khussed frightfully when the Japsuim attacked the pontoon, conveying the peril of the engagement and the intense danger faced by troops.
The University of Michigan leader says college graduates will lead industry in the future and urges self-reliance as the pick and shovel pass to the self-made man.
A new ruling states bass and trout fishing in the early morning is a mistake since game fish do not rise before eight. The decision is expected to boost the sport’s popularity as anglers adjust to later hours.
A Philadelphia gentleman reportedly owns a monkey that washes itself with soap and water, a detail cited as a setback to the theory that boys descend from monkeys.
A Norwegian chemist has discovered a new and inexpensive method to produce alcohol from sawdust. The breakthrough could enable easier mobilization of itinerant workers to process wood piles.
Official announcement proclaims the final barrier to the canal project removed, though observers note that several thousand cubic yards of earth and stone do not constitute a real obstacle, suggesting the work continues.
Pennsylvania considers a proposal to equip the state with voting machines at an estimated cost of 2,823,500 dollars. Voters and officials comment on the anticipated efficiency and expense, noting prior experience with costly political machinery.
A Boston Home Journal excerpt notes a man who feels devalued in a marital dispute may not sue for small sums, but if injured in a railroad accident he would only accept at least $5,000 in compensation. It underscores the high stakes of rail injuries versus domestic disputes.
Young Willie K Vanderbilt has not broken an automobile record for almost three weeks. The pace suggests he may soon view life as a waste if the streak continues and no new speed marks are set.
A Louisville man named Smith announces he will host the entire Smith family of the United States for a national reunion in Louisville, funded by himself. The remark implies either extraordinary wealth or a guess at the family size.
A Chicago man with $2000 and a larger inheritance took his own life recently. The note hints that wealth alone cannot guarantee happiness, suggesting the deceased believed money is not all.
A St. Louis judge rules 11 pm is the limit for a beau to stay with his sweetheart. If lovers nationwide expressed opinions on the decision they might face contempt of court charges.
A witty saying notes Parisians provide gowns while American women provide the figures. When a gown needs three figures, the American father becomes an active factor in the quip.
A writer comments that some scientists claim agnosticism not from ignorance but from having excessive knowledge. The remark suggests irony in professing ignorance while implying broad understanding. The piece satirizes certainty and the paradox of claimed doubt.
A historic note reports a Cornell rule fining a coed two dollars for kissing a man. The policy suggests she may avoid the penalty by allowing the man to initiate all kissing actions.
An elderly man marries a widow who already has thirteen children. The union brings companionship and a new family dynamic, offering a practical solution to loneliness and shared responsibilities for the blended household.
The town recalls Churchill's Grove famed elambakes as John and Jessie drive in, a scene remembered as a tragedy in the wake of the accident that followed.
A New York Sun note describes two orange firefish specimens from Gravesend Bay exhibited in winter at the aquarium. The fish resemble yellow ham bags in outline and color, one yellow and one brown with bright yellow highlights, noted for their odd edgewise swimming and occasional head-down posture.
A Boston Globe excerpt observes women scrutinizing each other’s clothing on a train and at events. A couple debates whether women notice outfits out of propriety or because each woman acts as a dressmaker, viewing styles with professional interest rather than mere curiosity.
The New York Press notes that the Japanese government has long shown a structure similar to the Mahometan caliphate and ancient Rome. Ecclesiastical rulers and pontiff kings trace back over 780 years before the era, with the mikado’s court called by the sacred term dalri and the dairi treated with reverent confinement.
The Galveston disaster wiped out much of the city with no insurance. Eight thousand bodies, about one seventh of the population, lay under ruins. In forty five days the city cleared ruins and rebuilt most wharfing. October shipping surpassed all priorOctobers, showing swift recovery and disciplined effort amid calamity. The Baltimore News notes the urgency and momentum driving rapid rebuilding.
A Philadelphia judge recently declared that the life of a rich man is worth more than a poor man and that physicians may charge millionaires more for services than laborers. The judge argued doctors must give their best service in every case but can adjust fees to patients’ means, noting life has a numerically variable value.
The text explains cancer as a rebellion of body parts rather than an attack by outsiders. It describes cancer as a state of civil war with local outbreaks of murderous fury by revolutionists inside the body.
Vatican authorities remain agitated over the French government dispute sparked by President Lotbet's Rome visit and the recall of M. Nisard. The Pope presides at mass as Vatican officials study cables and papers, hoping Nisard will return. Monaco’s role and ties to Capitaine Dreyfus fuel the diplomatic tension amid Clerico Nationalist alignment with Jaures.
In Findlay Ohio a Lake Shore Novelty Works plant explosion killed seven people and injured twelve to fifteen more. The blast damaged two drying rooms and caused extensive property loss estimated at 6000 dollars. Funerals began Monday as residents faced business closures and fear of further casualties.
Tangier dispatch reports the Moorish shereef of Wagan mourning Sunday to meet Raisuli the bandit chief said to be at Benairus. Mohammed el Torres says the sultan’s government will grant all of Raisuli’s demands if Lon Perticaris the American and Cromwell Varley the British captive are handed over immediately. Soldiers have been withdrawn from the bandit district.
Washington dispatch from Consul Gummere in Tangier, Morocco confirms Ion Perdicaris and Cromwell Varley are being well treated by bandits who abducted them. Authorities are negotiating terms of ransom and expect to report the terms to the State Department soon.
Washington reports that payments on the Osage Indian traders' claim will begin early in June. Acting Commissioner Captain Tanner says $74,000 is currently in the department toward the settlement, with $142.00 outstanding mainly to Kansas City and St. Louis merchants. Congress provided for payment from tribal funds.
News from Mukden arrives Sunday explaining the Japanese halt, a factor that reshapes the military situation. The report suggests the pause makes the Russian position more favorable and alters strategic dynamics in the region.
Matton reports twelve funerals in the city last week with five on Saturday. Seven of the deceased died of consumption, marking the highest death rate in the city’s history and a monthly average not exceeding the past week.
During reconnaissance off Port Arthur by Admiral Togo last Friday a shell struck the torpedo boat destroyer Akatsuki, killing one officer and twenty four men.
In Anderson Indiana on Friday night Mrs Albert Nixon wife of a local business man was struck in the face with a pint of carbolic acid and badly burned. The assailant was not identified.
Paris based Tokio correspondent for the Petit Parlesien reports the United States has named a customs commissioner at Niuchwang to succeed the Russian official, signaling a shift in the port’s administration and international alignment.
Jewelry valued at 18000 stolen from the home of John W. Kiser former Monarch cycle company president between Thursday night and Sunday morning in Chicago. The haul reportedly included high value gems in a break in, with investigators reviewing the case.
At the Missouri State Medical Association session in the YMCA parlors, President William G. Moore criticized patent medicines endors ed by temperance groups as harmful as whisky. The program included a symposium on appendicitis with several physicians from St. Louis Kansas City and St. Joseph. Jabez N. Jackson of Kansas City was elected president.
The Play grounds Committee of the Civic Improvement League decided to equip all playgrounds with modern gymnasiums for children. The Finance Committee expects funds to be available as citizens respond eagerly. Gerard Swope said five playground directors are secured, with few applicants for positions. Model flower gardens will be added, run by children under instructors to inspire neighborhood beautification.
In St. Louis the state Rebekah Assembly I O O F concluded its annual session on Thursday night. Elected officers include President Mrs. Isabella Shipley Springfield and Vice President Ruby Kathan Bucklin with grand warden Mrs. Motlie Smith Webb City and secretary Mrs. Allie E. Poundstone Carterville. Other officers named are treasurer Mrs. Carrie McCormack St. Louis chaplain Mrs. Rhoda Mulford St. Louis marshal Mrs. Frances Ring Monett conductor Miss Agnes Woodard Moberly inside guardian Mrs. Co E Winters Warrensburg outside guardian Mrs. Florence T Simmons Fulton and executive committee members Emma Logan Kansas City L A De Bolt Trenton and Nellie Coleman Marionville.
In Kirksville Missouri won the annual debate between the state normal schools on the resolution that labor unions, in their practical operations, oppose general welfare. Missouri took the negative position. Judges were Superintendent Bowen Fort Scott Kansas George W Earhart Quincy Illinois and L M Garrett Moulton Iowa Ben All Gu thrie Macon acted as moderator.
In Bloomington Illinois the Post Office safe at Roberts was dynamited Thursday night and 275 dollars secured. The robbers escaped on a stolen railway velocipede.
Caracas reports President Castro issued a decree expelling ten Spanish Capuchin monks from Maracaibo. The monks advocated restoring clerical power over civil authority in Venezuela.
Kingston, N Y The Ulster county poorhouse three miles from New Palatz was totally destroyed by fire Sunday afternoon. Loss estimated at 50000 dollars. Three inmates who were reported missing were later found and no one was burned or injured.
The New York Court of Appeals ruled that the 1903 flag law prohibiting using the American flag or its likeness for advertisement is unconstitutional in the case of Jacob McPike of New York City.
Thieves entered the Westboro Missouri post office last week and robbed the safe of 183 dollars in cash and 390 dollars in stamps. Nitroglycerin was used on the safe, suggesting professional job. Four strangers boarded a fast freight at Norwich Iowa twenty miles north at 6 25 a m carrying a bundle in a newspaper and a telescope valise. They were wet to the knees and appeared to have been up all night. There is no other crew.
Official notice from Tokio states Korea has canceled all treaties with Russia and all concessions granted to Russian subjects. The move ends existing agreements and privileges, signaling a shift in diplomatic relations and economic terms between the two nations.
Jefferson City Missouri State Auditor Albert O Allen registered bonds issued by Hannibal to fund electric light and power projects. The bonds total 100000 dollars, are 5 20s, and carry four percent interest.
After twenty four hours the jury could not reach a verdict in the Feeley killing case. Judge Graves discharged the panel. Robert N. Feeley of Nevada claims self defense for the shooting of Martin Hoots, a local farmer, about a year ago.
Pittsburg Pennsylvania reports that at the National Association of Manufacturers final session on Thursday David M. Parry of Indianapolis was re elected president.
Secretary of the Navy W. H. Moody and Senators Hale Penrose Bacon and Congressmen Dalzell and Meyer spent Sunday at Fort Morgan Alabama as guests of the garrison officers. They departed Sunday night for New Orleans.
Rev. T. L. Minturn of Amazonia, a 40 year resident, died Sunday in St. Joseph at age 86. He was among Missouri’s oldest Odd Fellows and formerly served as Grand Master of the state.
Washington reports the naval inspection board on the Missouri completes a forty eight hour sea voyage with the ship in first class condition and the test declared successful.
Niuchwang reports Japanese troops marching inland destroying four miles of railroad and capturing a Russian supply train. The action underscores a widening Japanese advance and disruption of enemy logistics.
In Zapesville Ohio 2500 coal miners in subdistrict No 6 struck Monday over unresolved wage terms after the Joint Scale Committee failed to reach an agreement.
Jefferson City Missouri the Secretary of State grants authority to the Maryville and St Joseph Railroad with offices in Maryville to raise its capital stock from seven hundred thousand dollars to one million five hundred thousand dollars
Lexington Missouri reports the Missouri G A R encampment electing Jere T Dow of Kansas City as department commander and naming officers for the year. Gen John C C Black addressed members, 241 delegates attended, and next year’s encampment is slated for Brookfield.
Jefferson City Missouri The Bell Telephone Company of Missouri was granted authority by the Secretary of State to increase its capital stock from 4 000 000 to 10 000 000 The company will improve and extend its lines throughout the State A charter was granted the United Water Gas and Electric Company of Sedalia with 71 00Me capital The company has consolidated Sedalia Water Gas and Electric companies
James T. S. Hickman resigns after twenty years as cashier to become secretary and savings manager at Hannibal Trust Company. Bank directors pass resolutions endorsing him. James M. Johnson, Jr. elected to fill the vacancy as bookkeeper and assistant cashier.
L R Wilfly attorney general of the Philippine Islands visiting his old home in the county was entertained at dinner at the home of George Roberson former president of the Missouri Bar Association. An informal reception followed in the evening attended by prominent citizens and friends of the visitor.
Jefferson City Missouri Governor Dockery honored a Utah requisition to extradite Sherman Stansbury, held in Chillicothe, sought in Salt Lake City for mayhem after a saloon brawl that injured J. W. Burnham by knocking him down and injuring his eye.
Chicago Illinois Prof Frank P Graves a philosophy and pedagogy graduate student at the University of Chicago has accepted the chair of history and education at the University of Missouri He previously led the University of Wyoming from 181 to 1808 and the University of Washington from 1808 to 19023 in a career spanning multiple western institutions.
William J. Peck, president of the Merchants' Brokerage and Commission Company, previously raided at the Gay Building, was convicted by a jury in the Federal District Court of using the mails to defraud and faces sentencing before Judge Adams.
Miss Esther Paule eldest daughter of Mayor and Mrs Edward Paule and Phillip G Nagel were married at the bride’s parents home in St Charles Missouri on Wednesday evening confirming a family ceremony attended by relatives and friends.
The dead body of Thomas W. Howell aged 10 was found in the woods at the Dardenne creek bridge three miles northeast of New Melle by a 12 year old boy last week.
California Missouri reports Calvine Mead a Mexican war veteran died last week near California aged sixty six? seven? but the piece states Sixty one years. He was married to a wife who survives him and is five months his senior, Seventy one years.
A cablegram from Europe reports the death of Miss Anna Powers formerly of Warrensburg. She had left Warrensburg a few months ago and was a faculty member at the Warrensburg State Normal No 2.
Campbell Missouri Sunday morning jury returned a verdict of acquittal in the case against C. P. Hawkins charged with killing Harry Cover on January 15 last in the street.
The body of 10 year old Harry Rogers of Webb City was found on the Midway Park electric railway bridge in Joplin on Saturday. He had climbed the bridge to hunt birds eggs and was electrocuted by the trolley wire.
E B Craighead president of Warrensburg State Normal School gave the annual address to Mexico High School graduates totaling fourteen. He spoke on preparation for college and careers and urged diligence and service as students received diplomas at the ceremony in Mexico, Missouri.
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