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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 18, 1904
Page
2
A compact mock column from Marble Hill Press mocks national events, figures, and oddities. It names Colombia's anthem joke, a $10 flying machine, Uncle Russell Sage finances, Yale Harvard athlete strength, bull and tiger fights, czar poker, a New York liquor show, Kruger fortunes, George Dewey birthday puns, calico gowns, and rail travel danger.
A new device called the tele criptograph can reproduce conversations spoken over the telephone in print. The invention suggests many future conversations may be barred from malls or public spaces.
Analysts note Kuroki and Kuropatkin delay major clash, hoping to locate a fresh terrain with an unfamiliar name to stage the decisive engagement. The remark hints at strategic patience amid ongoing maneuvers and uncertain battlefield geography.
The article notes disappointment among those hoping for a national theater as Mr. Carnesle is not pursuing any project ready for endowment. No active venture or feverish chase is evident, leaving sponsors wary and plans unsettled.
The evangelists laboring for New York City’s moral and spiritual advance hopefully note a reduction from 400 to 200 in their target numbers. They emphasize the ongoing effort and appeal to the public for support.
Readers notice reports of bogus coins and counterfeit $100 notes circulating, prompting heightened attention to the risk and spread of fake currency in daily commerce.
The American Domestic League asserts that skilled cooks often share their addresses, contrasting with cases where individuals conceal information. The remark underscores openness in culinary circles and warns against lurking behind silence.
It is just beginning to dawn on Korea that the Japanese are like other philanthropists willing that the Koreans should have what is left of their own country after Japan has had what it wants.
A Chicago groom who refused at the altar faces an unsettled match with his bride amid headlines that echo the proverb about courting and fleeing. The incident foreshadows potential legal action and a court date may follow.
Bravil and Peru threaten to settle a dispute by war, urging patience until Japan and Russia resolve their controversy. The admonition implies any and all hostilities would be poorly attended, with the pair riskily delaying action to avoid empty benches.
Italian dramatist Gabriele d Annunzio replies to autograph requests with delight but only if they present a copy of his works. The note suggests he possesses more than one kind of genius.
The new Duchess of Roxburghe is reported to be winning opinions in England for her charitable contributions. She has learned that purchasing a dark ret does not suffice to enter the choicest circle of society.
A brief remark cites a petty discord between Great Britain and Russia, hinting Kipling could draft another sharp quip. The exchange may help smooth tensions as authorities contend over intent in the remark.
A restaurant keeper ordered his waitresses to drop pompadours. In twenty minutes no one wore a pompadour and, oddly, there wasn’t a girl present in the establishment.
The poetry editor of the New York Times praises a recent contribution as real poetry, calling it unusual enough to publish a third of a column editorial. He notes newspapers publish more good poetry than magazines.
The figure shows how well it pays to treat others as you would wish to be treated as the estate of "Golden Rule" Jones is valued at around 346000 with the exact amount yet to be settled.
Ex Judge Alton B Parker, Democratic presidential nominee, received formal nomination notification at Esopus Indiana on August 10. The letter, signed by Champ Clark of Missouri and others, declared Parker the party’s standard bearer and urged acceptance of the nomination. Parker announced he would not seek a second term, resigning as chief judge to lead the campaign and insisting on independence for the presidency.
United States Consul Gracey reports from Fuchan that the city of about a million lacks pumps, windlasses, or any water lifting device. Citizens must fetch water themselves, with river water carried by men. Gracey urges a public water system and lighting for Southern China.
At Niagara Falls a few days ago Cardinal Satolli paid a high tribute to the Knights of Columbus, praising the Catholic benevolent order. He said his approval would follow him back to Rome and that he would endeavor to emphasize the subject further.
A gill net fisherman near Astoria caught a 75 pound sturgeon that sold for 20 dollars. The article notes sturgeon of that size are nearly extinct, with thousands of pounds once shipped to Portland docks for fertilizer after consignors refused freight. It warns the big fish, like the biggest saw logs, may soon vanish as an industry and resource, with little replacement.
The Mexican Petroleum company proposes a canal to move crude from Ebano oil fields to a new port at Tampico for shipment to the Gulf.
A leading Duluth grocer received a long distance order for oranges. The caller asked for quality and sizes with prices unimportant. The grocer, holding a large yellow orange to judge quality, asked if this kind would do, illustrating a famous lapse in judgment.
H C Russell the government astronomer of New South Wales will retire at year end after serving forty six years in public astronomy.
Telegram from Chefoo reports Kamimura’s fleet engaged the Russian Vladivostok squadron north of Tsu Island in the Strait of Korea. Rurik sunk. Hessia and Gromobel damaged and fled. crew fate unknown. Japanese victory secures sea mastery and commerce.
The official canvass shows a 5.51 percent wage cut approved by miners by a total majority of 4 494 across districts 14 21 and 23. Districts 14 21 and 23 reported 14 542 in favor and 10 248 against with district 21 surprising voters by lower turnout. A joint conference will finalize reductions by item in the contract and district conventions will set meetings at Pittsburg Fort Smith and Kansas City.
Zeigler Wisconsin suffers a night attack on the Little Muddy Diver pumping station where water for the town is drawn. Several gunshots ring out as workers are targeted from across the river. A prisoner is taken to Springfield by U S Marshals. East St Louis becomes temporary staging for Pittsburgh miners imported by Leiter. Twenty three West Virginia miners travel to Zeigler on Saturday night with armed guards. Violence fears ease as the contest shifts to different lines but miners vow no repeat of Leiter’s methods if coal mining remains uncompetitive.
A feature on Western Canada divides the prairie provinces into three zones driven by topography and climate. It highlights cattle ranching in the arid southwest, the vast wheat belt with high yields and orderly rail links, and the northern mixed farming region with dairying and stock. It cites past growth, current land availability, homesteading prospects, and potential profitability for settlers and investors.
Sunday wind and hail swept Richview US damaging crops worth thousands. Seven minutes of hail stripped ripe peaches from trees while green fruit suffered harm and apples suffered heavy losses. Lightning struck a hay stack owned by farmer Charles Newman, igniting several stacks. Tree limbs were torn and telephone lines blown down.
In Belleville court Judge Ro P D W Holder heard the preliminary trial of William Downard Fred Schwab Frank Meyer and Charles Gaches four packing house drivers charged with violating the injunction restraining strikers from interfering with plant operations. Downard and Schwab held to September term in bonds of 2500 each. Meyer and Gaches discharged.
In New Haven Connecticut the supreme court of errors sustained the superior court verdict rejecting as evidence the seated letter intended to grant William J. Bryan five dollars from the Philo S. Bennett estate. Chief Justice Toranve authored the opinion with all associate judges concurring.
In the harbor at Port Arthur the battleships Retvizan Poltava and Sevastopol lie alongside the cruiser Diana as tensions rise in the theater.
In Ashley Newfoundland and Labrador C L Coulter a prosperous local farmer and Harri son Stephens from Judson Oklahoma visiting were struck and killed by lightning on Sunday afternoon. Tra Houser who was with them was knocked senseless leaving behind wives and four children each for Coulter and Stephens.
Special agents in every state and territory tally aliens confined in U S penal and charitable institutions. The forthcoming annual report by F P Sargent shows thousands of foreigners denied entry have become public charges and will be deported at the expense of the steamship lines that brought them.
Harbin reports that Viceroy Alexieff has passed through Harbin on his way to Viadivostok, confirming the route of the official as he travels toward the eastern port and Asian theater.
Washington reports a telegram from Chefoo stating two Russian destroyers were found stranded twenty miles east of Wei Hai Wei on August 11 according to a Tokyo cablegram received late Saturday.
Postmaster Wakeford’s residence in Norris City Alabama was burglarized Wednesday night. Intruders chloroformed the family and ransacked the house but secured no booty. Mrs. Wakeford fired several shots as she woke but the bullets had no effect.
A Russian battleship Retvisan shell struck a Japanese torpedo boat, sinking her. Thirty crew members were saved.
Reports from St. Petersburg note Lieut. Gen. Linevitch leading troops from Vladivostok toward Gen. Kuroki to create a rear diversion and relieve Gen. Kuroatkin's force.
Rumor from Seoul reports a naval engagement occurred Monday off Wosan also known as Gensan with no details yet received.
Berlin paper reports Tregubinko head of forest service and Kuznezoff chief of police fatally harmed openly in Nak and Chivan streets Russia.
Audrain county court revived interest in the killing of Lafayette Newkirk a wealthy and well known citizen of Mexico Missouri offering a reward of 100 dollars for the arrest and conviction of the assassin.
A blaze on Monday wiped out S. J. Miller's hay barn at Moorsville, destroying a 300 ton capacity structure reputedly the largest in Illinois. Fire crews battled the flames as the barn and its contents were consumed.
The king of Italy issued Monday evening an award on the boundary between British Guiana and Brazil. The decision places all land east of the frontier line under Great Britain and lands west of the line under Brazil.
A Tien Tsin dispatch says Japan has silenced Port Arthur’s naval batteries after a prolonged cannonade and predicts the port’s speedy fall. The report notes strategic impact and asserts imminent capture by Japanese forces.
A planned engagement ceremony ends as the bride withdraws the glittering solitaire. A sharp remark about dyeing her hair sparks a quarrel with the groom mocking happiness with a dyed hair remark, she defends herself with dignity.
There is one comfort anyway Noah says there isn t any old salt left to tell him he was in a worse storm thirty years ago. He then proceeds to unship his cargo with a thankful sigh.
A portrait of Patrice as a candid, outspoken woman who speaks plainly and shares her views, highlighting a confident, unguarded persona in conversation.
A college graduate replies to a friend's question about next steps by declaring intent to study medicine despite it being overcrowded. He asserts that he will pursue the field regardless, betting that existing doctors must take their chances against a determined newcomer.
A brief exchange reveals Mildred reports happy marriage since last meeting and asks for congratulations. Priscilla replies with affectionate words and notes she has become happily divorced since their last meeting.
In a compact exchange, Jack teases his sweetheart as the town’s best looking girl while Tom concedes lightly. The dialogue hints a rural setting as the couple’s loves are discussed with playful candor.
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