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Newspaper
Marble Hill Press
Location
Marble Hill, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 11, 1904
Page
2
The Marble Hill Press reflects on satirical quips about public figures and events. It jokes about the Marquis of Anglesey, quotes a playful epitaph, notes Japan and western governors, mentions Senator Clark’s heirs, and mocks Boston’s pace and Thibetans. It mocks golf club ventures on Sundays and lampoons Schurman and Jekyll Hyde wordplay.
A college girl believes correspondence course methods are a good deal better than nothing during the summer vacation, seeing value in flexible study options and self paced learning.
A Boston paper runs The Naked Soul story while noting the timing is chosen to avoid during the period when most Boston women are away from town. The piece hints at audience and decorum considerations shaping publication.
Bandit Raisuli plans marriage causing unease at home as rumors of bringing a stranger home for dinner spark potential trouble within the Raisuli family.
New York multimillionaire Charles G. Stillman is employed as a baggage smasher in San Francisco. He appears to seek payment for the task, suggesting he aims to be paid for the exertion and work performed.
A former schoolteacher associated with Mark Twain has died at age one hundred. The obituary notes his long life and hints at his influence on Twain, claiming he taught the celebrated author a useful trick.
The St Paul railway traffic department issued orders for the extermination of the festive English sparrow along the line. The item wryly notes how easy it is to give orders.
An astronomer at the Lick Observatory has found one double star. However many other gentlemen, not astronomers, are ready to prove that this record was sent by several others.
A cuslady concludes that women possess a sharper sense of humor than men and asserts a fundamental truth that most men's failings stem from their natural temperament.
The fragment recalls George Ade and a college widow farce, noting how the humor may awaken painful memories of aging and loss, suggesting the author’s good intentions clash with readers’ past sensitivities.
The Department of Agriculture notes quail as valuable insect destroyers and weed-seed eaters worth thousands annually to farmers. Yet on tight budgets some farmers shoot quail at much lower prices, risking losses.
Milwaukee Sentinel reports Carrie Nation heads overseas with warning that if anything happens there will be no ransom or hostage drama. The note implies her resolve and foreign travel plans without hint of duress or political bargain.
A thief entered the room of Mr Wong Kai Kah, China's commissioner to the world’s fair, and stole diamonds valued at $2,000. Kah remains steadfastly opposed to an open door policy.
The item questions a San Francisco tale that Lulu Miller rejected a millionaire for a penniless plumber. It notes speculation about the feasibility of Lulu choosing a poor plumber over wealth.
A University of Chicago professor sets one million years as the limit before radium shrivels away. Owners urged to return the radium and reclaim refunds before the deadline.
A Baltimore American cartoonish remark notes readers keeping minds busy to ignore heat, while describing a stout, cheerful man wandering every half hour puffing and asking if it is hot enough. The playful vignette captures summer's routine street theater in the city.
The Tribune predicts gasoline automobiles will supplant the interurban trolley. It hopes a method will be found to remove the odor from deodorized gasoline before that shift occurs.
Morris eyes Jessie Carden as she sketches, pressing for a private meeting after she confronts him about intrusion. He claims accidental pursuit, while she accuses him of bribing servants and insists on no public reception. The moment shifts to a tense hallway exchange in a drawing room setting.
Jessie Carden faces Arthur Morris in a tangled plot as the Bishops lure her to New York for sketches and a risky confrontation. Morris seeks forgiveness for past wrongs while Jessie weighs revenge, family peril, and a path to release her father from a deadly snare.
Jessie Carden returns to Boston from Berlin and discovers General Carden faces ruin. His bank has failed and creditors siege the old home. He seeks a loan by offering L. and O. stock to Standolph Morris to settle minor creditors while Jessie, with savings of nearly two thousand dollars, contemplates their stark, meager surroundings and uncertain future.
A speaker admits shooting a man and blames no one but himself while the governor offers a reward. Jessie Carden insists on a public withdrawal of the reward and no prosecution. The two discuss past indiscretions, resignation to a twist of fate, and a possible future in Hingham.
A New York Press tale of street car etiquette ends in embarrassment. A man returns gloves to a stout matron, only for a stern maiden lady to claim them. He jumps off the car as mocking laughter rings from fellow passengers.
A farmer sends an Irish helper to fetch a cant hook in fall woods. Misidentifying the hornless cow as the tool, the man ties the cow to his wagon and returns to the woods. The farmer demands the missing tool, while the humorous misunderstanding ends with the worker’s quip about the “cant hook” he found.
A young matron shows she saved her housekeeping allowance by following a Mothers' Adviser tip to put dimes from ten-cent pieces into a bank. Her husband John now questions the missing funds as she explains the plan yielded saved money for their baby.
A New York Times anecdote recounts a rejected manuscript where a disappointed aspirant asked for a reason. The editor’s slip blamed the manuscript’s “superscription” as the reason and the author found his own line on the page, a misread title, as the joke.
The City of Naples proposes a charter enabling five railroad lines with three underground routes. A central underground station is planned to sit 314 feet below the surface.
The Queensland government offers 25000 pounds for a reliable method to eradicate the prickly pear cactus. The search seeks a practical solution to a persistent invasive plant damaging crops and landscapes. The prize aims to spur innovation and practical control.
Chicago labor unions totaling about 300000 voted Sunday night to provide moral and financial support to striking butchers. Money will be assessed weekly from each member and handed to strikers and their families, with the exact amount to be reported Monday. The strike remains at a stalemate as packers struggle to bring back workers and resume operations amid strained by product profits and a shift to nonunion labor. Michael J Donnelly, head of the strikers, says conditions favor the union.
A Missouri Pacific Flyer train on the Denver to Denver route plunged through a bridge near Pinon twelve miles south of Pueblo at 7 30. Officials report between thirty and fifty drowned. Rescue trains moved the injured and coffins to the scene as wire service lines failed. Missing include Conductor J H Smith Engineer Hinman and Brakeman J J Turner.
The interior department announces registration for the Devil's Lake Indian lands in North Dakota. Commissioner of the General Land Office will start at Devil's Lake and Grand Forks at 9 o’clock August 8 and close 6 p.m. August 20. About 406000 acres are involved. Price is fixed at 4.50 dollars per acre.
Washington reports the rural free delivery service will raise salaries for 22 000 carriers. The upgrade costs over 1 million dollars more for the coming year. Postmaster General Payne issued the order, not the President, per Bristow who oversees rural delivery and says only the postmaster general was involved.
Dr Edouard Hanslick a renowned Vienna musical critic has died He was born in Prague in September 1825 His demise marks the loss of a leading authority on music journalism and theory across Europe.
Lieutenant General Yamaguchi of the southern division, who led Japanese forces in the Boxer rising in China, died Sunday after lingering illness. The emperor elevated Gen Yamaguchi to viscount on Saturday.
A Bogota cablegram dated August 4 and signed by Gen Rafael Reyes reports that rumors of a revolution in Venezuela are false.
In Omaha Nebraska a large number of Black workers were brought into South Omaha packing houses on Tuesday to replace striking employees. They arrived early and were not hindered by pickets.
Chicago report notes Freiherr Speck von Sternberg the German ambassador to Washington on Tuesday accepted the presidency of the national advisory board of the American Institute of Germanics at Northwestern University.
Carrollton reports Dr James E Waters a Greene county pioneer physician was found dead in his bed at Athensville northeast of here Sunday night. The coroner's jury returned that death was due to unnatural causes.
The Mafin's Niuchwang correspondent reports Chinese troops in the area being regularly drilled by Japanese officers, highlighting ongoing military training and influence.
Russian refugees report Japanese forces entrenched in the valley about two thirds of a mile from Port Arthur fortress. A Japanese cruiser reportedly struck a mine and sank near Cristova battery. The Bayan shows a minor hull breach from a floating mine. Japs occupy Louisa Bay after landing troops with aim to attack west of the city. No major fighting near Port Arthur since July 28.
The Times correspondent in Tokio reports unofficially that Japanese forces have captured commanding positions north and northeast of Port Arthur, about 2,750 yards from the main Russian defenses.
Washington reports unofficial advices that the Russian prize court at Vladivostok has ruled the British steamer Knight Commander a lawful prize after sinking off the Idzu peninsula. Officials stress no seizure of an American flag vessel and no national honor issue, framing it as indemnity solvable through standard diplomatic and legal channels.
Albany reports Alton B. Parker ceased to be chief judge of the court of appeals at 3 20 p m Friday by resigning after a two minute session with five associate judges. They disposed of sixty six cases to clear the calendar and pave the way for a successor election this fall for a fourteen year term. Had he delayed until after August 10 an appointment by the governor for one year would have occurred.
American cruisers Olympia Cleveland and Baltimore under Rear Admiral Jewell left Villefrance on Sunday for Smyrna. They are dispatched as tensions rise over the issues between the United States and Turkey.
In Quincy Alabama on Tuesday evening, Wal tre Williame, a local boxer, attacked his wife with a razor slashing her throat and then wounded himself. Doctors doubt either will survive.
Persistent rains in the Cleburne area unsettle farmers as boll weevil infestations rise daily and bolls begin to fall, signaling crop damage and worry over the growing pest problem this season.
In St. Petersburg the absence of Gen. Stakelberg and Gen. Zaroubaleff in Gen. Kuropatkin's latest reports suggests their southern forces may have lost communications, possibly due to Gen. Nodzu's army cutting lines.
A fishing boat reported Thursday that two Russian cruisers entered the English channel from the North Sea direction Thursday morning.
Robert E Patti son, twice Democratic governor of Pennsylvania and twice Philadelphia controller, died early Monday at his Overbrook home. Pneumonia with heart weakness was the cause.
London report notes a St. Petersburg dispatch to the Exchange Telegraph stating that Russian forces have fallen back beyond Hai-Cheng. The move signals a strategic withdrawal as operations pause around the area.
Four armed men robbed the Diamond Special near Matteson Illinois on August 1, taking money and valuables from two Pullman sleepers. Detectives captured fifteen suspects in Chicago and suburbs, arresting McGuire and Smith as potential leaders, while Feinberg brothers were detained for possible related robberies. Police worldwide pursued leads as the dragnet extended, with ongoing manhunts and expectant identifications.
In Ocean Cove New Jersey clergymen objected to Mme Schumann Heink’s low neck gown at a recent concert. She admits planning a modest neck covering but used mousseline de soie cutting the neckline. Managers warned her to cover the neck or use sun shade. she performed, while church elders threaten costume stipulations for future appearances.
Margaret Smith a London flower seller aimed to honor King Edward VII at St Bartholomew's hospital ceremony. Her bouquet struck the king between the eyes as a policeman detained her. Edward ordered her release noting good intentions though poor aim.
Mayor Timanus of Baltimore demands strict adherence to office hours by city employees. As a businessman, he argues for a fair day's work for pay and will enforce the municipal service schedule.
Isaac W. Barnum, Brooklyn inventor of the sewing machine hammer attachment, died at 80 after years of wealth to poverty. He once earned over a million from royalties but spent much on boom towns in Council Bluffs Iowa and Sanborn North Carolina and on personal fads including 70 photograph sittings.
Hundreds of New Yorkers report odd distress after visits to Coney Island. Victims describe splitting headaches, fever, and nausea while physicians discuss a new microbe blamed for the symptoms. The piece notes past reforms at the resort and suggests a fresh outbreak challenges diagnosis and remedy.
Joseph Chamberlain England's ex colonial secretary was once an actor in Birmingham where he adopted the monocle habit. He played Puff in The Critic and found the eyeglass suited his look and has kept using it since. It wasn’t vanity but habit.
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