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Newspaper
Mansfield Mirror
Location
Mansfield, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Sep 09, 1915
Page
7
A fragment lists the National Live Stock Commission in Kansas City Missouri and mentions buyers from New York and Kansas City. The ad also features assorted jokes and quotations about marriage, luck, and mischief, reflecting a mixed page of notices and humor.
A dialogue shows a visitor asking about a regiment name just passed. The native struggles to identify, mentioning a possible West something or Weet Riding, then corrects with a clipped memory of Tatler as the likely name.
Aged building science notes progress from wood fire hazards to modern construction. Crushed slate surfaced asphalt shingles gain favor for beauty, durability and weather resistance. Buyers should demand manufacturer guarantees amid many roofing options. Witty quips follow about explorers, mortgages, and a Canadian revolving toothbrush patent.
A young pastor in his first charge misquotes a biblical feeding, provoking a sharp parishioner. The next Sunday he repeats the text correctly and asks if Mr. Smith could do it too, prompting the reply that he would do it with leftovers from the previous Sunday.
A housewife challenges a tramp who says he has lingered in the area for about a year. He claims no steady work since a few hard-hearted judges denied him tasks, implying harsh conditions and ongoing hardship in a small town setting.
A humorous dialogue shows a child asking if his father is the greatest man in the world and a mother replying no. The boy muses on greatness beyond George Washington, while a remark about insect parental care leads to a quip about not being an insect. The exchange ends with a joke about parental rights.
A witty exchange notes a printer’s kiss on a bride’s lips as a husband reveals a hidden truth. The quip plays on mistaken terms and marital status with sharp humor. The banter reflects period newspaper wit and social irony.
A brief dialogue excerpt shows a character asking if the potential father figure approves of a marriage. The father is consulted and agrees in spirit, but the exact permission is not explicitly granted, implying hesitation or ambiguity about acceptance.
A colorful dialogue touches on a gilt edged stock scam and boastful sellers. Parson Snowball jokes about a boy and a deacon labeled the white sheep of his church. The humor shifts to cheese and aging stock with a sly pun about life lasting longer.
Dobkins argues doctors rely on guesswork in treating patients and in billing. The exchange questions whether medical decisions are educated or speculative, suggesting uncertainty in diagnoses and charges.
Miss Sybil Baker recalls a playful child’s excuse from a western village school. Willie Brown deflects a hair comb mishap by saying the comb was sent to the Smiths and not returned, provoking a humorous reaction at a public festival in Portland.
A witty exchange notes the Delsarte system teaches acting when proposed to. The bride confesses she studied it but forgot the method when Tom proposed, admitting she used it successfully with others. The quip highlights social timing and flirtation.
A reader comments that modern inventions are great and predicts it will soon be common for children to carry pocket adding machines to school to aid mathematical problem solving. The remark reflects early 20th century optimism about technology in education.
An impatient New Yorker asks if a fast interurban is a through train. The conductor confirms it stops only once between here and Philadelphia. The passenger roughs out the idea that a single stop lets a traveler rethink his plan on the journey.
A witty dialogue opens with the line so glad to see you again and a confession of new business interest. The second speaker questions whose venture, and the exchange trails off as conversation slows to a halt.
A dialogue reveals a renter leaving a boarding house because of a landlady’s mournful eyes. The uneasy exchange shows the landlady’s gaze as the deciding factor when the narrator asks for seconds, underscoring a somber, intimate moment.
A bridge builder praises a dachshund as an architectural triumph of Mother Nature. He remarks how the canine form illustrates stress distribution to the span, while a judge notes the curious analogy and its playful charm.
The passage remarks that magazines offer advice on winning a wife and the etiquette of love making. It notes that once a man marries, he must shift to taking responsibility and fending for himself without reliance on others.
A church minister has reportedly received a higher salary offer from an unspecified source. The minister is at home seeking guidance, while his wife indicates she is packing up, preparing to move.
In a lively exchange two guests riff on nautical terms as a seasoned "sea dog" at a banquet appears to steer toward the wine. The other observes the speaker has “quite a list to port,” turning table talk into playful maritime punning.
In a bustling hotel scene a guest laments the lack of service as bellboys rush to the front to answer the ringing. The humorous exchange highlights hurried hotel staff and a puzzled guest seeking attention amid busy chaos.
A scene unfolds with Mr. Rufnek admitting he cannot recall the seven wonders, saying he never retained much from dime museums or sideshows. The exchange captures a humorous moment about memory and spectacle.
A Washingtonian describes a method to remove bones from a fish, joking that New York experts might perform the same feat without the fish showing signs of it. The quip suggests urban cleverness in a fish handling context with light humor.
A playful exchange centers on a new bonnet as a wife compliments it and a husband jokes that the purchase is a time night mare, reflecting domestic humor of the era. The brief dialogue captures light domestic wit and marital banter.
Elijah defeats Baal prophets at Carmel then flees Jezebel. He wrestles with discouragement, seeks God in the wilderness, and receives renewal. God strengthens him, speaks through quiet revelation, and charges him to appoint Hazael and Jehu to execute divine judgment.
Skil in fisticuffs crowns several Victoria Crosses. Capt Hugh Rowlands saved Col Hay at Inkerman with a left hand punch. Gen James Blair, amid Indian mutiny, knocked five mutineers with fists. Admiral Tug Wilson, whose sword broke, floored six Arabs at El Tab and earned the VC and his boxer nickname.
A northern country doctor tests a Highlander who boasts teetotalism by buying whisky for him at a hotel. After several glasses the bragging teetotaler reveals his rule by saying he will refuse what the doctor orders, exposing the contradiction with his claimed abstinence.
A playful dialogue centers on a plan to profit from baseball game pops bottles. The scheme falters as the punchline reveals fans want bottles filled with shrapnel. A nod to a trust magnate and copper head imagery echoes.
A brief quip captures a student’s humor about studying under teacher scrutiny. The line “When th' teacher's lookin'” echoes lively schoolyard banter about hardest work tempo and attention to class.
A witty remark on how buried hopes avoid marble demand, implying optimism or irony about resources and outcomes without detailing specific events or entities.
J R Wright and C F Smith at Manila spent over a year examining radium in air and soil under varying conditions. They found rainfall and wind speed govern emanation, with higher air emanation when meteorological factors are low, and a marked nightly increase in emanation. Heavy rain reduces surface radium exhalation.
An advertisement promotes Cuticura shaving and grooming products to simplify routines. It describes dipping a brush, making lather with Cuticura Soap, shaving, applying Cuticura Ointment for scalp or shaved parts, then washing with Cuticura Soap. It touts one soap for shaving, shampooing, bathing, and toilet with a free sample offer via a Boston department.
A brief note records a conversation about borrowing a neighbor's lawn mower. One person asks to send it over in the morning, with a pickup at six and return at nine after a brief sleep. The exchange shows casual neighborly assistance and timing.
A vintage advertisement urges caregivers to choose Fletcher's Castoria for infants and children, noting over 30 years of trusted use and the product’s signature on packaging. Children are depicted crying for Castoria as a reassurance of its safety and efficacy for young patients.
A brief, humorous vignette recalls a clerk boasting about whipped cream and a judge quipping as a fit of witty street chatter. The fragment hints at a broader meditation on patience, art, and haste versus leisure.
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