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This newspaper page contains 35 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mansfield Mirror
Location
Mansfield, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Sep 02, 1915
Page
5
A diner orders stewed apples and cream but asks for no apples and no cream. The waiter serves a plate with a spoon and powdered sugar, presenting the unchanged bill for the item, leaving the customer to pay.
A man tells Hawkins he previously assigned all property to his wife to shield creditors. His wife allegedly betrayed him by taking the money and leaving, claiming he swindled his creditors and she will not live with him.
A fragmentary exchange shows a gardener discussing asparagus cultivation and cost versus buying, followed by a classroom comment about neatness and a joke about detectives. A waiter humorously notes a misheard order as a customer questions a companion. An observation questions Arthur's prospects and potential to match his father.
Dialogue reveals Mr Littleton defending his stenographer Misa Higmitt amid a jealous wife and a chaotic office environment. The exchange hints at workplace tensions and personal entanglements impacting professional duties.
A collage of early 20th century quips and cartoons features a staged courtroom line where a parent accuses a suitor of kissing a daughter, a joke about a chef copying a recipe, and a pun about hereditary furniture. The snippets parody social mores and legal authority with brisk punchlines.
A fragmentary scene shows Jack listless as Mabel pets him. She challenges him for attention, then suspects illness. The front door reveals heavy footsteps. Mabel explains, “It’s only father,” and Jack springing up beside her ends the snippet.
The judge records J Fuller Gloom, a well known pessimist, admitting he altered his house plans despite agreement from the architect and wife that the design was near perfect. He asserts the change was driven by neighbor disapproval.
A man recounts asking a girl to the theater. unable to buy seats he fabricates a sold out show and promises a future outing. On the intended night her aunt escorts her and two other couples to the venue, leaving them as the only audience in the parquet.
At 11 30 the graceful Miss Fibbber started a phonograph recital as a famous aria filled the room. Mr. Horesome cried magnificent and asked the piece. Miss Fibber replied that the number was Tosca s Goodby followed by Mr. Boresum bidding good night.
Blondine asks if Gertys keeping company with young Bean has ended. Brunetta says she rejected him for being too extravagant. She recalls he proposed a jitney bus moving picture outing, which convinced her to pass.
In a fragment from a dialogue, Mr. Wadly accepts his daughter’s engagement to a count with reluctant humor. He had hoped for a son-in-law who would disrupt rather than align with family ambitions, signaling tension between status and personal preference.
The article argues the present European war is not the Armageddon battle, which it places in Asia near Har Magedon. It discusses prophetic timing, the Millennium, and the church’s rapture, linking current events to a broader scriptural interpretation and the second coming of Christ. It notes geopolitical realignments and cautions against equating current conflict with the end of the world.
A hungry looking party with unbarbered hair says he has called to ace if there is a vacancy in the joke department. The editor, overworked, replies there will be a vacancy once the office boy empties the waste basket.
A witty quip about age differences prompts discussion on how men and women perceive aging. The remark questions whether a woman's age aligns with others' perceptions, highlighting social attitudes toward gender and aging.
A minister praises an enthusiastic member for liking his sermon and notes it was so true and to the point. He adds he wishes a neighbor could have heard it, claiming the talk was intended just for that neighbor.
A fragment notes practical politicians maneuvering to insert a plank into the party platform to serve their own interests. The dialogue hints at a “gang plank” used to push favored items into the platform. No further context is provided.
Bake sausages on a dripping pan in a single layer in a moderate oven. Turn them at halfway to brown both sides. Serve with toast cut to sausage size, moistened with a little sausage fat.
If the wire mattress becomes rusty rub with paraffin and dry thoroughly. Then apply a coat of black lacquer to both slides.
A compact quotation emphasizes self-examination to root out selfish desires even when they seem personal. It suggests this purging creates space in the soul for the Divine Presence, attributed to Elion Watson.
A Los Angeles Times analysis argues that durable street tree programs require direct municipal oversight. It notes property owners lack the expertise to select suitable species, stressing uniform planting distances, watering, pruning, and pest management for lasting, long lived trees across entire blocks.
A Minneapolis Journal column urges saving trees along roads and homes. It notes trees add land value, cooling and beauty, and recommends forty feet between street trees, with alternating placement if distances differ. It advises aligning planting away from narrow planting strips to widen the street’s appearance.
Austin Minnesota with about 8,500 residents hosts five divisions of the Chicago Milwaukee St Paul railroad for repair facilities. The town centers a floral decorative scheme with well paved streets, seasonal blossoms, and a volunteer landscape gardener tending parks and street plantings.
A drifting man calling himself Pat Mahoney posed as a stranded husband with a baby and begged coins from bystanders in a crowded Elkhart street. Police soon intervened, arresting him for public intoxication after he exploited a timid woman nearby. The Indianapolis News notes the devious ploy and its exposure.
A playful domestic scene portrays a newly married couple in a shared apartment. The wife warns the husband that the bread is rising and access to the kitchen will be limited until morning, prompting a light exchange about lemonade and patience.
A Detroit Free Press fragment describes a man crawling from a wreck and being asked if he is covered. He replies that he is covered with mud blood chagrin and insurance, implying relief or irony about the aftermath and the role of insurance.
Murphy bets Pat siz perce to a shilling that he cannot swallow an egg without breaking the shell. He admits winning the wager but laments the egg will either hatch or burst his stomach if he moves or stays still. The tale is told in a humorous Irish dialect from Pear son’s.
An old advertisement promotes Cuticura products for scalp and skin care, urging readers to sample free by mail with a postcard to Cuticura Dept XY in Boston. It claims the creams meet skin, scalp, hair, and baby needs and notes the product is sold widely.
In a brief London Sketch a Nervous Curate humorously probes an introduction. The interlocutor insists he is not married, prompting the Curate to exclaim that it is pleasing and then infer the other’s wife is also single. The exchanged quip highlights social play and wit of the scene.
A magistrate hears a defense where a defendant claims a required action by law excuses blocking another’s eye. The defendant explains he was only dimming the man’s lights, prompting the magistrate to seek further clarification of the legal rationale.
A humorous exchange notes pinching a multimillionaire for speeding and quips about the irony of wealth. The ad copy promotes Red Cross Ball Blue as a superior American made product and ends with a playful line about blush being hard to counterfeit.
A lighthearted anecdote recalls Tom Shipp as he campaigns for Congress in Indianapolis. A persistent admirer phones for an interview, insisting on familiarity and access, while Shipp quietly reveals his lobby location as the humor unfolds. Separately naval planners discuss sea sleds for coast defense, describing a half motorboat hydrofoil craft capable of high speeds and potential mass production to replace scouts.
An old codger muses that the sharpest contest he knows arises when two chronic dyspeptics meet and compare their symptoms. The remark frames a wry view of petty rivalry as a medical quarrel among the ill and overlaps with a broader ironic tone about human vanity.
A note explains the Croton river which supplies most of New York City’s water was named after an Indian chief. It also mentions a compressed air syringe used to remove grease and dirt from machinery with gasoline, and a conversation about warm weather and furs adding a light, period voice.
The Norfolk and Western railroad has electrified 100 miles of its system in West Virginia, among the world’s heaviest coal carriers. The electric locomotives weigh 270 tons each, and two attached to a 4,000 ton train hauled it up a two percent grade at 14 miles per hour, twice the speed of the best former steam locomotives.
The fragment includes a brief dog breed exchange mentioning setter types and a reference to industrial workers in agriculture. It also notes European battles often occurred in Belgium, and contains unrelated statistical and historical asserts about organizational membership and land battles.
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