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Newspaper
Lexington Intelligencer
Location
Lexington, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Mar 07, 1908
Page
5
Mark Twain narrates a political meeting abroad where a would be MP declares himself a "horny handed con of toil." He lifts a trowel and hammer to prove his working man credentials, then asks for support as the audience applauds a bricklayer turned candidate who can lay bricks with hammer and trowel.
A promotional notice offers a one year package for Rural Route Republic and the Intelligencer at 22.50 for prepaid subscribers or new cash subscribers. Subscriptions paid a year in advance can get the Daily Republic mailed for one year for 1.00, with the Intelligencer included.
The notice promotes Rural Route Republic as a rebranded St. Louis Republic with daily issues. It highlights Tel egraph, Market and Financial pages, miscellaneous family reading, mail delivery nationwide, and a yearly subscription with one year term required. It invites readers to subscribe via the Intelligencer and the Republic.
A wife laments a harsh bargain sale where she lost all her money. Her husband confirms the dramatic squeeze of funds from her purse as the incident unfolds.
Cyrus Fleming of Martin recalls a home remedy for toothache seen in the Tennessee mountains. An old mountaineer heated yellow clay in a skillet until red hot and applied it to Fleming’s jaw. The pain subsided quickly and he slept after keeping the clay in place.
A New York street scene describes a large runabout painted in gilt bronze so bright it resembles a show wagon. At night its lamps cast a golden glow, making the car appear as a drifting mass of bar gold across Broadway.
A London Chronicle note lists peculiar names collected during investigations at Somerset House, naming Hyde Parker Eliza Silence Tom Jolly Death Mary Pine Coffin James Whalebelly Sarah Greek Gebb John Gotobed Minnie Shorthose River Jordan Innocent Fox James Bootebornfoot Samuel Drinkmilk and ending with the newly christened Constance Cremer, highlighting comic and odd monikers from the period.
A humorous exchange about a husband who counts to ten before speaking. One woman jokes that, since he developed dyspepsia, home life has become a daily arithmetic act, with counting and digestion fueling domestic math.
A young man renting a Ninety-third Street room complains the washstand’s new blue oilcloth and missing muslin draperies clash with his country manners. The landlady explains city norms force the splashy cleanup and insists countryborne habits soak nearby items.
Prince Abro Pagratide of Egypt conversed with Harvard architecture professors about the age of art. He cited an ancient papyrus described by a French scientist, recounting a tale of romantic triangles and domestic roles resembling modern fiction, noting there is nothing new under the sun.
The owner explains a single building changed its name three times after three fires in eighteen months. He notes fires hurt reputation more than damage, and tenants believe a rebirth through renaming cures bad luck, prompting quick name changes.
Henry 8. Friel of St. Louis recounts meeting a man in a small Arizona town who lived a year in the plains without clothing or shelter to cure tuberculosis. The patient survived on herbs, game, and fruit, slept on the ground, and now weighs 170 pounds, up from under 120 pounds.
The preacher congratulates the couple after their wedding. He tells the groom he has won one of the fairest maids and a stalwart partner. The bride corrects him, praising George the athletic youth as her strong mate.
Stella states she divorced him for desertion while Bella confirms he refused to live in the auto. The dialogue centers on marital breakdown and the alleged abandonment.
A dry goods clerk mocks a school teacher about her hours and vacations during a meal at the boardinghouse. He cites his eight hour days and paid holidays as proof of the teacher's supposed ease. She quietly retorts that nothing prevents him from becoming a teacher if he wants.
A visitor laments a dull Sunrise club gathering while noting a Miss Dotter at a table with her husband who keeps his own name. The exchange highlights social attitudes as they discuss marriage names and how a wife might carry her own name in society.
A 40 year milestone since the first foot ascent of the Matterhorn. A cog railway could land passengers at the summit, 14 780 feet high, within four years. An almost perpendicular tunnel will traverse the route and a rock hotel with oxygen rooms will overlook the panorama. The round trip fare is projected at $10 while current foot ascent takes about 24 hours with guides costing $40.
A senior tells a professor he owes his knowledge and the professor modestly dismisses the debt in a witty exchange cited by the Christian Advocate. The brief humor reflects mutual respect and scholarly vanity in a classic quotation.
A quirky note describes Sam B favorite and Sunflower Pete Green organizing a water melon wager and dice game for dollars. Bill Bacon Shol Henks bets on round green, promising a larger payoff than his standard stake in a rough, informal gambling scene.
In a London Opinion quip, Johnny asks what country people do when stung by a wasp. Tripper replies with a solemn answer, “Holler,” capturing rural blunt humor.
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