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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Lamar Register
Location
Lamar, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Aug 26, 1903
Page
3
A chaotic OCR style excerpt gathers short gags and dialogues from a bygone newspaper page. Bits include a quarrel over lighting a cigar on the lawn, a criminal character Waggsby meeting his end, a playful exchange about an automobile and a canoe, a quip about valuing religion, and a gag about cigars and a trusted employer.
A collection of brief vignettes and quips from the Washington Star. Notable lines include a sharp exchange about beauty as a gift versus a purchase and Meandering Mike’s mockery of luck and golf. A lunatic asylum attendant jokes about Mrs Weeks seeking her husband, a moment that reveals the superintendent’s blunt verdict on sanity.
A Boston officer confronts a youth about touching a prop, the boy claiming he was trying to alter the word pants to trousers. A town stranger adds a quip about cars and a morgue as a contrast to the boy’s jest.
A fragmentary exchange shows a daughter asserting a suitor targets money while a pragmatic father notes the suitor would wed her only if she were poor. The dialogue hints at social expectations and economic considerations shaping romance.
A brief theater dialogue fragment features Mrs Meeker sternly asking Henry what a poker chip is. Henry replies with a wry joke about imagining a poker chip as a chip off a poker, hinting at playful misunderstanding. The exchange underlines comic wordplay and domestic humor.
A witty exchange about divorce and alimony unfolds with a lawyer dismissing weak evidence while a client contemplates separation. A joke about dangerous automobiles and a village cousin's quip about electric lights adds comic tone.
In a terse exchange Cobbs reports their cook left this morning due to gasoline issues. Hobbs asks what caused it and Cobbs cites gasoline as the trouble prompting the sudden departure.
In darkness they discuss space and hope for room for everyone. A light exchange shows a hopeful couplet. In a racing exchange, two men joke about luck and misplaced money, ending with a humorous misfortune.
The Philadelphia ledger notes that Stykler is thorough in harmony of detail with a distemper painting titled Pupp ies at Play. A man who takes music seriously defines a popular tune as one that becomes universally disliked.
A humorous dialogue where Mrs. Hayskeep and Hungry Higgins exchange flirtatious lines about returning for meals. Higgins replies that good cooking would draw him back often, while the scene hints at social flirtation and domestic banter typical of witty exchanges.
Chelsea Gazette notes a brief exchange about July Fourth celebration as insurance adjusters complete their work, with Mr Mann and Mr Cann referenced in a clipped public note.
Barnes notes Mars has a day forty one minutes longer than Earth. Howes quips that is due to labor unions not yet established on Mars.
A compact remark notes growing interest in a Shakespeare revival with hints of commercial appeal including whisky brands and inexpensive cigars reflecting broader cultural interest. The exchange contrasts literary prospects with consumer branding trends.
An impatient patient asks the doctor what saved him from brain fever. The doctor explains nature made him immune to that particular fever variety.
A dialog where St Peter questions earthly deeds and the gambler admits to one dive, then proposes another. The exchange is framed as a brief, stagey joke about last chances and moral reckoning.
The poem by Louise Chandler Moulton in July Smart Set reflects sixteen as a bright season of youth and promise. It contrasts carefree days with aging, while urging to seize present joys as Earth welcomes new arrivals. The passage shifts to discuss the oar as propulsion, noting historical attempts to replace blades with simpler designs.
A Young Island South Carolina inventor reveals a rowing device where the operator faces forward as two blade pairs alternately push and return, keeping constant forward motion. The mechanism uses counterbalanced handles and cranks with thrust blades, ensuring no headway loss unlike traditional oars. The article also mentions Mot Mot birds and their tails.
A bird named Mot-Mot has bluey green tail feathers. Figure shows the racket end created by plucking feathers, similar to a man leaving a mustache to grow. In Wirona New Hampshire last week a wandering boy named Goodwin tossed a pistol to a conversation partner. it fired, lodging in Goodwin's heart and killing him instantly. An Atlanta judge orders police to gag prisoners to stop profane outbursts. The ocean’s salt could cover 700,900 square miles of land one mile deep.
A collage of verse and instructions from a historical periodical. It opens with a philosophical riddle on merit and wealth by S. E. Kiser, followed by a Lord Marching Card magic trick description. Then a bubble-on-flower trick, notes on pinhole photography, a clock puzzle, rabbit-raising tips, and a sample Pictorial Letter from a genial uncle to his clever nephew.
A dusty page presents wordplay games and riddles for youth. It describes an impromptu eight-person guessing game, conundrums about presence of mind and clever puns, plus a drawing trick with cards and a needle prank.
A magazine item describes two tricks: an obedient ball using a split hole in a croquet ball threaded with string to grip at a center angle, and a note on pinhole photography showing that high quality images can be made without a lens using a tiny hole.
A cardboard boat uses a rotating rudder driven by uneven threads, sailing on a water ocean. A wire boiler sits atop two corked supports with an eggshell heat source and cotton wick, lit by alcohol to boil water.
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