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Newspaper
La Crosse Tribune
Location
La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Mar 13, 1913
Page
3
The La Crosse newspaper endorses Dan MacMillan for mayor over four other candidates. It cites his open mind, lack of factional entanglement, and ability to devote eight hours daily to city work. It contrasts his proven recovery of a troubled public business with rivals who cannot commit full time. The editorial urges voters to decide on leadership, efficiency, and dedication.
Advertisment touts GETS-IT as a painless corn treatment that removes corns instantly without plasters knives or bandages. It claims safe usage for warts calluses and bunions and notes 25 cents a bottle with Chicago based E. Lawrence & Co. as the shipper. Local La Crosse outlets listed for purchase.
Lucius C. Clark presents a Fireside Sermon honoring William Fairfield Warren born March 13 1833 and celebrated March 13 1913. The talk recalls Warrens role as preacher educator writer and religionist and notes his controversial cradle location theory Paradise Found and his work clarifying mysteries within the Paradise of God.
In Harpers Weekly a quipster pleads fear for future public life noting women's love of bargains might draw them to cheap leaders. Baldibrow counters with a feigned stump speech and a humorous dig at male remnants, ending with an ineffectual effort.
The story recounts a teacher about to spank Jimmy when he shouts he has just been vaccinated. She asks where, and he points to East Chestnut Street, creating a mix of humor and tension in a late 19th century magazine tone.
Minna Irving notes in the New York Times that an imported scarab and a Turkish woven rug were actually made in the United States. She mocks the belief in authentic foreign art while confessing a shift to buying domestically produced antiques.
In a Harper's Weekly quip, Blobbs urges winning fame by telegraphing a newspaper denial of a cabinet offer from Mr. Wilson. Wilkins questions the tactic as a path to fame.
A humorous dialogue features Paw and Judge discussing weather seasons in polar and tropical regions. The Judge warns that continued quips could lead to trouble, joking about being ducked under a pump.
In a humorous scene a six year old named Jackie resents a new arrival in the home. Surrounded by relatives in the sitting room and a nurse announcing a boy, Jackie loudly laments why it couldn’t have been a girl or a billy goat.
Louis Tiffany hosted an Egyptian themed party in his New York studio. He recalled a grimy southern traveler who wore tatters yet carried a whole side of bacon on his shoulder. The punchline: “Wait, sah, when I asks mah back for credit, I gits it,” followed by “dishyer... always calls for cash.”
The constable testified the prisoner was in a heated argument with a cab driver, arguing the driver’s presence was not proven. The magistrate noted that the quarrel did not establish drunkenness, while the constable claimed no cab driver was present.
A Kansas City Star excerpt recalls a young Governor Hodges when he was a state senator called to Leavenworth to inspect the penitentiary. In a prisoner assembly, he faltered at addressing the inmates and pivoted from “fellow citizens” to “fellow convicts,” finally joking about being glad to see them.
A divinity professor staying in the Scottish Highlands was invited to baptize the minister’s infant. He urged the congregation to sing a favored paraphrase starting at the second verse, but the crowd giggled when they learned the minister’s name was Sparks and that he had his tenth child.
In a tense scene at Mount Hope, Marsh and Evelyn blame each other for a life of debt and disillusion. He admits fault and hidden fears while she seeks reconciliation, ending with a shared rush of passion as he vows never to drink again. The moment hints at deeper danger he fears revealing.
La Crosse shoppers praise Minnesota Macaroni for its nutty flavor and firm texture. Made from the best durum wheat with gluten, it is easily digested, nutritious, and costs about one cent per dish. Try the Minnesota Cut Macaroni for even cooking and quicker preparation.
An old public notices Syrup of Figs as a gentle, natural laxative for the elderly. It urges using only Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna, made by the California Fig Syrup Company, to avoid harsh salts or cathartics. Read the label and insist on the full name.
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