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Newspaper
La Crosse Tribune
Location
La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Jan 16, 1909
Page
3
The La Crosse Tribune appeals to readers to raise revenue for renewing the baseball franchise next spring. It asks every fan to contribute $1, noting that 1,000 fans must buy tickets at $1 each to secure the renewal and keep the game alive in the community. It calls on business leaders and fans to act now.
The piece condemns false newspaper circulation claims and praises a forthcoming bill for compulsory auditing and accurate publication of results. It warns that half of advertisers' money is obtained by fraud and calls for severe penalties for breaches of the law.
The author argues for honest circulation reporting and supports legislative action to require accuracy. They warn newspapers will resist through lobbying and threats but contend such opposition is weak against truthful disclosure and urge lawmakers to enforce honesty in the industry.
A narrator confesses a farfetched tale told with glee about a red car tied to Mayor Anderson. The piece frames the report as a police bulletin by a Tribune hireling, noting the mayor’s encounter with the car and its passengers, Chief John Weber and Attorney W F Wolfe, in a snowy city scene.
Dr. Smith E Jelliffe notes that a certain senator is a tedious campaign orator. He compares him to an old fashioned minister who delivers a long dry sermon that lulls the congregation to sleep until a loud desk strike forces him to repeat it.
An Englishman boasts his great great grandfather became a lord by the king on a shilling. A Yankee counters with a cent showing an Indian making his ancestor an angel, noting the same line of ascent. The exchange appears in the Christian Endeavor World.
William A. Presser of Moline Illinois reports two bottles of Peruana cured his two month long catarrh in the head. He notes relief from symptoms and no recurrence after treatment and highly recommends Peruana to other sufferers.
Mr A Thompson of Ohio shares a 18 year catarrh ordeal with inflamed eyes and nasal symptoms. After using Peruna for about a third of the bottle he reports complete cure and urges others to try Peruna. The ad promotes Manalin laxative and offers a free 1909 Peruna Almanac via the druggist.
The Italian Grand Opera company planned for January 28 and 29 has postponed the engagement and will perform later, per notice to manager Gage.
North Brothers present a one week engagement starting Sunday January 17 with matinee The American Hustler and Sunday night My Jim. Sport North notes high priced headliners and improved acting plus the Chicago Ladies' Orchestra as a pleasing feature drawing early theatergoers. Ladies admitted free Monday under normal conditions.
Amateurs at the Bijou provide a lively show with Walter Goetzinger and Walter Schaldach, plus Abe Johnson Dill and Abramovitch. The highlight is Carl Hagenbach's trained giraff, a comic disaster ending in staged collapse and a roaring burlesque finale.
Washington notes Rep Jenkins hosts a resolution to appoint a board to value gas and electric plants in the District of Columbia and allow government condemnation for public use if agreements fail. The piece covers parliamentary reform debates, Wisconsin National Guard matters, and postmaster confirmations in Wisconsin.
A humorous verse by E. O. Jones in the N Y Herald mocks two tattling teetotalers named Tottle and Tuttle. It portrays them as busybody gossipers who spread rumors and relish scandal, ending with a plan to stop their tattling while noting they shun alcohol.
Retired magician Harry Kellar told a Philadelphia audience that modern stage magic has declined as younger magicians neglect study and practice. He compared them to an elderly man at a tailor, noting only slight changes in measurements, implying diminished showmanship.
Katherine wrestles with gratitude and guilt after help from Rupert Haverford, while Camilla Lancing endures anxiety over Broxbourne and Sir Samuel. Camilla hopes for escape as she contemplates sending a letter, then fears a looming confrontation that could end in ruin.
The Glasgow Herald recalls a quip about the scriptural phrase Take up thy bed and walk. Dr. Walter C. Smith argued the bed could be a mat, while an old lady insisted on a four poster bed, saying there would be no miracle if a bit of rug was carried away.
A German driving an English friend from Frankfurt to Hamburg notes a dust cloud from a fast car. The Englishman asks how to know the dust signals the emperor, and the German replies only the emperor could raise such a dust. Blobs and Slobbs add quips about bakers and paddlers turning to steamy yachts.
The Vermont Supreme Court in Wilkins v Brock held error in instructing jurors to apply general medical rules rather than the osteopathic standard. The court said osteopathy is a distinct practice and must be judged by its own principles, not those of other schools or the profession as a whole.
The Dear Girl blushes as she recalls his boldness asking for a kiss while Her Dear Friend condemns the idea with shock. The Judge weighs the scene, highlighting social tension and flirtation in a lampoon of romantic impropriety.
Camilla, weary and anxious, reflects on past debts, gambling, and a looming threat as she contemplates a dangerous letter from Colonel Lancing, her husband’s father. The scene widens on her fragile nerves and the pressure to set wrongs right.
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