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Newspaper
La Crosse Tribune
Location
La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Aug 18, 1909
Page
3
The Tribune of La Crosse submits to an actuarial investigation of its circulation figures. The statement is verified and certified by the American Advertisers Association and by the Blue Book of A. A. Siever.
The Tribune reports new Madison data on park spending and property value gains. A city committee calculated that playgrounds and drives boosted Madison’s valuation by about $12.24 million since 1893, yielding $23,476 yearly tax revenue and leaving a $10,017.60 balance after park costs.
The Bijou bills deliver a strong vaudeville slate this week with Miss Jean Benney Perents a standout act combining drama and comedy while Dolliver and Sers provide petite dance routines. Elsie Crescy delivers a dramatic Oliver Twist portrayal that captivates the crowd and James Loring is cast as the detective. The Elite Musical Four dominate the show with strong melody and frequent encores.
The Tribune highlights parks as essential for welfare and civic life, noting improved business, social and health conditions. It argues private ownership yields common good and urges La Crosse to emulate Madison’s financial and broad gains, fostering unanimous support for a public park system.
Congressman Tawney faces backlash as Minnesota Republicans condemn his insinuations about progressive colleagues who opposed the Payne Aldrich tariff. The dispute sparks strong denials from Minnesota lawmakers and warns of waning support amid Taft’s lull in Winona.
Victor D Brenner need not feel bad as the Lincoln penny credits his initials on the coin. Publicity has brought him before the public with more free advertising than if the initials had been left untouched by the government. He has moved from obscurity to prominence.
The text notes Ella Gingles departed recently for her former home in Ireland and now seeks a quiet retirement. It questions who can fund Evelyn Thaw’s relocation to a discreet, peaceful place to avoid the limelight.
Smith telephones for the best cheese in the house and is offered American cream cheese. Staff propose sending cream cheese mashed with asafoetida to him to keep his patronage.
The Minneapolis Journal notes Twin City Daily invites proud mothers to send in the bright sayings of their youngsters. The column calls for submissions and asks readers to participate by sharing witty or thoughtful lines from their children.
Louisvile August 18 Great plans surround the Association of Advertising Clubs of America convention to be held there this month. O H L Wernicke of Grand Rapids is urged to accept the presidency. he says the role carries heavy duties and finances and is undecided.
A fragmented quip filled with paradoxes and odd images. The piece references honesty and legality, a man nearly intoxicated, nature as prosaic, and girls near an army post playing a game.
A joke line recounts a stunt attempt described as a tin can descent over Niagara Falls. The repartee mocks the risky act and the reaction to whether the stunt lit as planned.
A wry remark by H. E. W. notes no need to send a donkey overseas for musical education as long as its bray pleases. The line suggests contentment with local skills and a humorous view on specialized training.
A vintage advertisement asserts weak kidneys harm the body and promote ailments from backache to urinary issues. It touts Dean's Kidney Pills as effective treatment, citing William S. King of La Crosse Wisconsin praising relief after using the product bought at Erhart's drug store. Sold nationwide for 50 cents by Foster Milburn Co. in Buffalo as sole US agents.
A verse sketch critiques shrinking dollar bills under tariff and trusts pressure. A mock dialogue pleads for larger money and fair pay, citing Sec. MacVeagh and Teddy Roosevelt. The piece closes with a humorous note about a New York World contributor and an old woman in a shoe joke from the New York Sun.
The figure Joax is described as a man of considerable address and hoax rumors swirl around his role. He is noted for publishing the city directory, a detail tied to his public activity.
The quote from the Houston Post notes that married people cry because they are married while single people cry because they are not. It contrasts emotional responses tied to marital status.
In a Boston Herald verse, a speaker urges established figures to give the talented junior a chance. The poem contrasts fame and youth, noting the cub's rise from amateur and urging supporters to offer opportunity rather than mockery.
A Baltimore American quip notes a widow who remodeled her house at no cost by aligning with a carpenter until the work finished, then marrying the plumber. The remark casts her as a shrewd manager of household repairs and relationships.
The Cleveland Plain Dealer lauds the Lincoln cent calling it the highest praise seen for the coin noting it was never meant to fit slot machines.
A timid guest asks for water and a bell to summon help. The bell is beside her bed, mistaken by the guest for a fire alarm. The hotel man clarifies and offers to ring for her, revealing a misread safety device.
A bemused bystander note reflects on education bills and parents. The speaker jokes about parents who never had children, pondering happiness in a lighthearted, rustic voice. The fragment captures social mood and humor from a period-style column.
An aged Chicago Record-Herald line notes the law of supply and demand in coal. It states Mr Baer supplies as much as needed and demands what he pleases for it.
In the Lighting Belt column a witty exchange questions why locals are embroiled in a feud. The stranger notes nobody volunteers as a bystander, suggesting blame and risk swirl through the community in a humorous regional quip.
Comic panel captures a playful scene on a train where a young couple jokes about engagement as a station stop looms. A witty back-and-forth leaves bystanders amused and the man poised to join the next car.
A colloquial verse exchange questions virtue and vice as voices argue who is better or worse. The speaker challenges another to match pretended goodness and confronts messy self-perception, ending with a rapid, unsettled rhythm.
In this scene Louise faces a love triangle as Hal begs for a future together and Louise declares she will marry another man. A coroner inquiry looms over Arnold Armstrong’s death while Mrs Armstrong and Doctor Walker arrive with the banker’s body. The narrator notes Sunnyside lease tensions and an egg nog moment signals upcoming revelations.
A conductor offers fare to a passenger who retorts that he only hauls brunettes on his street car, signaling a sharp clash on the Grand avenue line.
An advertisement touts Samose as a flesh forming food and health restorer. It claims nine of ten will gain healthy weight with its use, notes no starch or pepsin, and promises full refund if not satisfied. Buyers are urged to weigh before use and track weekly gains.
An advertising appeal promotes the Wisconsin Business University in La Crosse. It extols business education as the best investment for time and money, claims graduates secure positions in major firms, and invites applications for the full term beginning September 7.
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