Wily Wooer Ardent Suitor Trade Jokes
A witty exchange features a suitor declaring his fortune to woo the fair lady. She retorts that his fortune is modest, but jokes it will appear grand beside her small feet in the Boston Transcript style.
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Newspaper
Kingman Star
Location
Kingman, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Nov 29, 1912
Page
7
A witty exchange features a suitor declaring his fortune to woo the fair lady. She retorts that his fortune is modest, but jokes it will appear grand beside her small feet in the Boston Transcript style.
A 1912 advertisement explains heart weakness stems from tired blood and urges Tonitives as a tonic. It lists symptoms such as palpitation shortness of breath poor circulation and faint spells and offers Tonitives at a price per box from dealers or by mail in Buffalo New York.
Multiple short sale notices across Kansas Mississippi and Florida describe parcels of land houses barns and outbuildings with varying sizes and locations. Listings mention Santa Fe Haskell County Ward Robbins Touuchston Palatka and Mannville among others and include details such as acres and building features with incomplete phrases.
The piece recalls a rare quiet at Niagara Falls on March 41 1848 when ice damming and a southeast gale halted the cataract before an April 1 thaw restored the roar. It notes home and cottage design themes and marks July 18 1720 Gilbert White’s birth as a date worth remembering.
Architect planners describe a compact 1500 dollar dwelling designed for a couple with a living room ten by eleven and a ten foot square dining room. The single bedroom, kitchen, bathroom and porch view emphasize practicality and comfort over ornate parlor use. William A. Radford offers free expert building advice by mail.
A moss backed citizen warns that some men disparage friendliness as a sign of low status, urging value for true friends and social bonds. The remark emphasizes loyalty and respect within the community.
Two men boast of family wealth. One claims a Connecticut farm so vast his father milks cows on Monday and returns Saturday. The other counters with a Pennsylvania farm so large that it uses young couples sent to the barn and milk carried back by their grandchildren.
A reader from Indianapolis describes a severe skin rash spreading to arms and back, causing itching and disfigurement. After trying several remedies, she reports improvement within seven to eight days and complete cure in about three weeks using Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment, with samples offered world wide.
The village tailor notes he gains sparse orders from the vicar for hats collars and handkerchiefs. The vicar jokes that if he wants a suit he goes to London, while the tailor replies that for a good sermon he goes to London.
Philip Miller of Cimarron Kansas, a Probate Judge serving his third term, credits Dodds Kidney Pills with curing years of heart trouble and dizzy spells. He reports quick relief after about a year of use and offers to publish his testimonial. Pills cost 50 cents a box from Dodds Medicine Co. Buffalo New York. Free household hints, anthem music, and recipes offered with purchase.
A collage of ad copy and quips features epitaph jokes starting with Here lies, Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets touted for stomach and liver aid, Winslow's Teething Syrup claims, Ady quips on marriage and thirst, and Red Cross Ball Blue laundry ad notes.
The Duke of Connaught spoke in Macleod Alberta to American settlers praising Canada’s laws and hospitality. He said newcomers may freely live and marry under Canadian rules without forced citizenship, and emphasized reciprocal welcome between Canadians and Americans. He noted western growth from a cattle town to a wheat region and expressed hope for continued prosperity.
A Rochester mother reports her 13 year old daughter recovered health after two bottles of Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. A sixteen year old from Stoutsville Ohio writes of relief from headaches and irregularity after using the same remedy. The Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Company of Lynn Massachusetts notes many similar letters from mothers about daughters improving health.
Mrs Henry Parsons devised miniature four by eight foot farms for the International Children's School Farm league and demonstrated in New York. Each child owns and tends a personal farm growing seven kinds of vegetables and walks an 18 inch path around it, turning the lesson into good roads.
An ambitious young man asks Mir Dustin Stax about contributing to his campaign fund. The response shifts the focus from money to future actions and what he would do if elected. The exchange centers on accountability and integrity in leadership.
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