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Newspaper
Jasper News
Location
Jasper, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 12, 1909
Page
3
A mosaic of miscellany from The Jasper News includes a reward note for a kidnapped girl who returned, humor on Mars and earth, sugar plum hat trends, jokes about dentists, court clashes, and a forward look at China and Peru with Mr Wu. Articles touch on crime, fashion, and international diplomacy.
Young Joggins of Brooklyn Heights plans a double gift for his wealthy aunt and a friend. He mails two identical parcels with notes. the aunt’s sharp reply shames him and orders him away. After the clash, Joggins seeks to salvage his chance at a windfall, offering discounted favors to raise cash.
Trad Biglow boasts a wolf blood tonic makes hens burglar proof and worth millions. Edgar schemes to buy it. The duo discuss Jim Witham’s anti timidty dregs that guard birds, while Edgar plots a quick fortune before the wagon departs.
The narrator, after massaging horses, hosts two well dressed visitors with a tale of a stolen gold brick. The Siwash Indian balks at leaving the brick with white partners, while a spokesman and an attorney try to buy his share. The narrator contemplates a trade, offers money, and watches the plan unravel as the pair debate trust and motives in the village, ending with regret over the venture.
A family retires Dobbin the horse to the country to ease his rheumatic legs after long service. Little Bina, aged four, watches the scene with sorrow and asks if he rides in the train cars. Her mother confirms, and the girl imagines the horse perched on plush cushions in a lighthearted moment from Woman's Home Companion.
Old comic John Sullivan shares Irish wit in a Baltimore theater anecdote. The manager introduces a wealthy youth to him and, while Sullivan finishes dressing, the famed wit glances at the man and asks humorously if the youth is a boy or girl.
Four year old Blanche overhears visitors describing blowflies laying eggs and hatching maggots. She questions the idea, insisting files do not lay eggs because she has never heard one cackle. The anecdote ends with her mother’s surprised reaction.
A brain and nerve builder tale explains how Grape-Nuts emerged from experiments by a diligent worker seeking a food to renew strength. The piece describes the product as containing brain and nerve nourishing elements, aiding digestion and daily vigor, with the signature E. C. W. Poat on each package and a hint at the slogan The Road to Wellville.
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