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Newspaper
Ismay Journal
Location
Ismay, Montana, United States of America
Date
Aug 04, 1911
Page
2
The Ismay Journal carries a satirical stew of climate quips and comic asides. Banter touches on weather, drivers, birds, and jokes about marriage, crime, and public life with playful anecdotes and pithy lines.
A thoughtful adage notes that a genuine pessimist frets today about future unhappiness. The maxim contrasts present anxiety with anticipated sorrow, urging reflection on worry's grip and its effect on a hopeful outlook.
A Indiana woman files for divorce citing her husband’s fondness for onions and Limburger cheese. The fragment mentions gossip and a playful tone about bet outcomes. Necklaces of glass beads aged 3,000 years are found on Egyptian mummies. The piece also notes a penny per capita rise to 165 cents more than last month, totaling $34.70, with most people holding 16 cents.
The Pittsburg paper claims blue paint deters flies while a solid swat with a swatter offers a more permanent solution.
Germany advances a new battleship named The Peacemaker prompting debate over the fit of the title should it enter combat. The ship’s construction signals a modern era of naval power, drawing reactions about symbolism and purpose.
In cold weather the city figure talks of the opulent farmer and his motor car yet avoids venturing beyond his door to watch a plow in action, showing a reluctance to brave the elements.
A Massachusetts preacher claims gray hair is a punishment for sin suggesting baldness proves early piety as a corollary of the theory.
A flyer who piloted a plane for 38 hours without a break could set a new endurance record. Neighbors view him as a capable and amiable man despite the challenge to limits.
Accidents cannot deter aviators who pursue prizes and mastery of flight risking their own lives and others in daring efforts to push aviation forward.
A Chicago professor advocates teaching courtship as part of the curriculum in every coeducational institution. The remark suggests integrating relationship guidance into school programs.
A farmer described in local papers as staying in bed for three days due to illness is linked to a prior trip from Winsted. The fragment notes the probable origin of his ailment and mentions no further medical details.
Marshall Astener, a chief clerk, confronts a theft plot by Thompson and lies about a promotion. After guiding the boy to confess and back him up, Marshall sacrifices his own seashore plans, destroys his letter, and announces a fake Greenville trip to cover the August daisy season, choosing honesty over deceit.
The article describes Pope Pius X amused by appeals from ambitious individuals seeking noble kin. It notes his brother as Rome’s postmaster general and his sister who runs a small inn in Riese. Two other sisters live modestly in Rome, away from public life. The pope uses the Vatican elevator to reach his private apartments above the pontifical ones, a habit from his days as a parish priest in Treviso.
An odd, fragmented quote centers on a traveling salesman claiming to Sunday on Mars and muses about a water tank star. The text interleaves garbled phrases about Sunday and a pun on making something and a Mars setting, reflecting a perplexing OCR read.
A Hostess notes six friends meet biweekly to craft hand sewn lingerie blouses and share new ideas. The gathering features light refreshments, brief amusements, and a serialized tale Romance of a Shirtwaist with social lessons about romance, golf, and marriage. Ice cream shaped as instruments and bonbons in piano and violin forms decorate the event.
After a club meeting guests matched numbered tunes to titles like Star-Spangled Banner and Yankee Doodle while the hostess displayed objects symbolizing musical terms such as Time with a clock and Flats with two flatirons. The playful activity folded songs including When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again and Auld Lang Syne into a clever lesson.
A hostess organized a needle threading game for twelve guests at a linen shower for a recent bride. Four tables held bowls with fifty needles each and thread. couples tried to thread the most within three minutes as bells tolled. The top scorers moved on with pinhead markers, prizes included a sewing bag and a work basket, with embroidery scissors as consolation. everyone enjoyed a cheerful, easy-to-prepare gathering.
A hometown girl received a gingham apron shower hosted by six friends. Each made a necktie from matching material and mailed envelopes. Seated for supper by pairing ties with aprons, the bride elect wore the final gift while groomsmen and ushers joined in the fun.
Lace and net remain popular while black satin features in many outfits. Feathers return to hairstyles as natural linens outpace color, veiled elements persist in ladies costumes, and evening frocks gain beaded cord embellishments. Coral on striped mousseline makes a bold statement with patent leather belts completing the look.
The page describes children’s clothing options including navy serge or silk themed outfits for boys with plain tunics and buttoned trousers, and a dressy dress for a girl with pale blue and white striped voile, plaited skirt, white lawn collar and cuffs, black satin cravat, and patent leather belt.
Dialogue shows Mrs. Rattle claiming maternal instinct by identifying her baby with a pink ribbon via cue from a nurse's poodle. Mr. Cynic questions the reliability of such recognition while the nurse interacts in a hospital setting.
A cat pursued along a New York building roof loses balance and falls onto a boy on a second floor balcony. The boy topples into an empty baby carriage wheeled by another boy. the first boy dislocates a wrist and the cat is killed.
A girl named Mabel sits proudly in a new frock on the front step as boys play outside. A boy compliments her shoes and sash and she boasts of a squared waist and coral beads. The boy replies he would not want to be a girl, citing the extra washing needed for necks.
A controversial ad claims women avoid wrinkles and a man owner faces backlash over marketing. Community members critique the promotion and its impact on shoppers at the store.
A Welden Newfoundland lady attributes recovery from severe stomach trouble and headaches to Grape-Nuts cereal. She notes rapid weight gain, restored strength, and absence of prior symptoms after four months of eating only Grape-Nuts. The letter promotes the product and cites Postum Co. as sponsor.
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