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This newspaper page contains 34 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Hamiota Echo
Location
Hamiota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Feb 08, 1912
Page
6
Mrs Oni of Morton's Gap Kentucky says two years of backache vanished after taking Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and Liver Pills. She regained strength and can do all her work without pain and urges others to seek help.
A Baltimore lawyer dismisses an office boy who spread news of the firm, warns him to keep confidences, and then tests the stenographer by asking if she heard the instruction. The stenographer replies she did not hear the remark.
In treating dysentery the Dysentery Cordial by Dr J D Kelloge is noted as the most effective remedy. It is a standard preparation used by many in preference to others. The medicine is highly concentrated and its sedative and curative qualities are praised by thousands over many years for overcoming dysentery and related complaints.
A traveler in Western Kansas asks a farmer how water is obtained seven miles away. The farmer replies he hauls water for family and stock, noting the distance is the same either way. The anecdote ends with a dark joke about a boy who fell from a window while racing another child.
A banter-worthy line centers on family size with a boastful twist. The speaker wagers on a man’s number of children, joking that a man with fewer than three would boast about it, while six or seven are implied. The exchange captures social humor about paternity.
A classroom quip centers on age and learning as a seventy nine year old profess or defends never smoking while a student puffs a cigar. The retort cites Cato learning Greek at eighty to argue it is never too late to learn.
England hosts more small railways than any nation with lines that operate on one or two engines. Advice is cheap unless one consults an attorney, a remark on costs versus legal aid.
CPR officials announce Calgary shops will cover about 100 acres with around 5600 workers and at least twenty buildings including locomotive and car repair facilities. The project aims to overhaul and repair rolling stock on western lines, mirroring Montreal Angus shops, with extensive machinery and a six acre locomotive shop.
Minard's Liniment claimed to cure diphtheria in an age of patent remedies. A Mamra reprimands her three year old son for flagrant table etiquette, calling shame if they were at another table. Young Diorenes offers a flippant retort, suggesting the misdeed could be hidden under the table.
Little Henry Sagnud enters Seraps' Meat Store and asks for two cents worth of steak. The clerk corrects him that it is cat meat, but Henry insists it's beefsteak for hinges on his rabbit pen door. The exchange ends with the boy explaining his father’s plan to hinge the door.
A claim urges keeping a bottle of Hamlins Wizard Oi! to prevent fiery pains of inflammation, noting the Chicago Fire could have been stopped with one pail of water if available.
Mrs. Gotham and Mr. Gotham discuss a circuitous route to visit multiple shops including Silke & Ribbon Co and Cheaper Bargains & Co before Mr. Gotham reveals a plan to go up in a balloon. The dialogue captures light domestic humor from Tit-Bits.
An officer laments a stupid son and jokes about making him a parson. A clergyman nearby responds that views differ across generations, prompting a light exchange on vocation and parental expectations.
A finely dressed man tells a beggar to ask for manners rather than money. The beggar replies that he sought what the other has in abundance with a cutting retort.
A light exchange notes a husband with a persistent cold causing coughing and sneezing while the baby finds it amusing.
The speaker declines plans to start a garden next year and jokes that instead of burying good produce, they will eat it. The exchange highlights a humorous take on garden plans and frugal misfortune.
Bridgeville Nova Scotia advertises Gin Pills with a testimonial from Daniel Fraser who says four boxes cured twenty years of kidney and bladder trouble after doctors failed. Claims relief from backache rheumatism sciatica and lumbago with a money back guarantee. Boxes priced two dollars fifty cents for six and a free sample offered by National Drug and Chemical Co of Canada Limited.
A crisis in Lord Palmerton’s life shows good humor amid political enmity. Lord Derby attacked him in the Upper House, but Palmerton defended himself and was acquitted by a large majority. In a corridor encounter the rival men shared a gracious quip about a clever fellow who got him out of the hole.
A collage of domestic concerns and health pitches. The piece extols Dr Williams Pink Pills for women and features personal testimonials from London Ontario, noting improved appetite, color, and energy after use. It also mentions a London clothes dealer, a light quarrel through a knot-hole joke, and a closing line on hope as precious.
A fragment shows a gossiping old doctor announcing he must go to visit his old lady in a sixty one. The line captures a Punch humor tone about social routines and eccentric characters.
Report from the Dominion Forestry Branch details Canada’s wood pulp exports in 1914 reaching five million seven hundred thousand dollars, with 1,129,000 tons shipped, up 48,000 tons from 1909. Mechanical pulp dominated exports, most going to the United States. chemical pulp rose elsewhere. Prices and destinations are outlined, alongside a misused health ad and a joke about eggs.
An advertisement claims a laxative bromide quinine tablet will cure a cold in one day and promises a refund if it fails, with W Grove’s signature printed on each box.
A theatrical manager questions a newcomer about Hamlet experience quoting a boast that he has acted in every hamlet from here to Niobrara Nebraska. The remark underscores pride in regional stage work and versatility.
A convict offers to sign official papers in exchange for a week of practice on the warden's signature. The warden asks what he can do best and the prisoner proposes to forge documents to help. The exchange hints at attempted deception within the facility.
The New York Press commentary notes that solving stalemates requires clear guidance and strategic action. It argues that imitation by social classes shapes outcomes, with the rich often adapting from the poor while the poor struggle.
The Shah’s kitchen reportedly costs £530,000 with gilded inside sauce pans and solid gold dishes and utensils. The royal tableware includes silver gilded utensils and precious stone handles. Spain also fields an expensive royal kitchen with copper pans valued around £12,000 and children’s cooking utensils at £3,000, all inlaid with gold for health claims.
Rose petal sachets are made at home using dried rose leaves, light crushing, and mixing with orris root, sandalwood, and rose essence. The ingredients are placed in muslin sachets colored with flower buds for fragrance.
A Louisville Courier quip frames personal mischief as a joke about pocket digging. A speaker teases about gathering material for a lecture while a spouse jokes about inspecting pockets. The line reflects playful banter on domestic habits and curiosity.
A fragment quotes a joke exchange about a giraffe with a sore throat and a centipede with corns attributed to the Texas Coyote. It reads like a humor clipping and hints at a comedic persona.
A Baltimore American snippet features a woman Mrs Jones and her growing bull terrier. The joke pivots on the dog’s constant appetite and quick growling for what it can obtain, echoing a humorous preeitist refrain about desire and possession.
A visualization shows Henri Deutsch de la Meurthe backing Bleriot style aerial taxi with a taxi like body, side door entry, mica windows, pneumatic cushions, and a chauffeur pilot steering via cloche and foot tiller, illustrating early flight service concepts.
A teacher asks Billy about caution versus cowardice. Billy replies that caution is fear of oneself while cowardice is fear of others. The proverb notes many speculators turn bearish after going broke as bulls.
A boy pauses at a blacksmith shop to watch. The smith offers a hot iron near the youth's nose to deter curiosity. The boy demands half a dollar to lick it, takes the coin, pockets it, and walks away whistling.
A provocative line claims the term guaranteed is the most overused word in English. It argues that many statements promise assurances and rely on guarantees, often without substance or enforceable backing.
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