04 Mar 1875
Page 2
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Newspaper
Hamilton Guidon
Location
Hamilton, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Mar 04, 1875
Page
2
A mosaic of humorous snippets and social quips from a late 19th or early 20th century paper. Jests about politicians, actors, and daily life mix with playful exchanges and rustic wisdom. Notable bits include a debating schoolmaster, a Toledo style quip on electricity, and a string of homey vignettes about family, fashion, and city life.
A Newfoundland origin tale unfolds as William Blair, long missing for about twenty five years, is found living near the Willamette River. His daughters, now grown, are located by Judge Hurley and P. A. Wood. His son-in law Warters and wife travel toward their new home in the valley. The sisters will reunite with their father whose memory lingers in their past.
Emma Frankie, a well known Portland figure, has begun joining her parents in Florence Italy whom she never recollected. Abandoned to the Stokes family as a child, she grew up in circus life until eighteen, then settled in Portland and learned to set type. Recent inquiries by Florence authorities led to successful contact and funds to cover her travel home.
A Viennese society named The Mariahilf Matrimonial Club requires its wealthy members to marry a poor woman with no property. If a member breaks the pledge to marry a poor woman, he pays £400 to the society, which uses the money to start a worthy poor couple in life.
Daniel Mossart, a noted watch inventor from Ann Arbor, spent years on a compact model capable of showing quarter seconds through months. After disassembly during repairs, delicate parts were lost, leading to mental derangement and his removal to an asylum as a confirmed lunatic.
A distressed widow, claiming fourteen years of bereavement, pleads with a Detroit Free Press reporter to publish a lengthy rebuttal to rumors she is courting multiple men. She insists she cannot marry again unless the suitor is very rich, and says she will press defamation charges if slander continues.
A Hartfort Times correspondent recounts a goose egg hatching near East Granby. A hen raises one gosling poorly, then abandons her nest, while a male goose assumes responsibility for the brood. The gander shields the family, gathers food, and defends them as the chief custodian of the flock at Mr Scalea’s farmhouse.
A Worcester shoe salesman exhibited a sandal fashioned as a playful satire of a Sandusky belle. The item, labeled 17 extra large, measured fourteen by six inches with humorous architectural details and a tiny townail notch. The blonde subject, weighing eighty five pounds, is said to travel West next summer to tramp grasshoppers in Colorado.
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