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This newspaper page contains 49 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Greeley Tribune
Location
Greeley, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Jan 14, 1904
Page
8
In Lippincott's Magazine a French Canadian gardener named Jean vows cruelty after a mole ruins Madame’s strawberry beds. He captures the animal and plans lethal vengeance, confessing he will bury the mole alive to avenge the damage.
A department woman declares she has cured her slang habit and will speak plainly. She notes Mrs. Skaggs challenges her French with a pun about the word dough and the final t being sounded. The exchange highlights language perceptions in a light daily observation.
A medical warning advises smokers to avoid tobacco cancer by not smoking fast. Heat from cigars or short stemmed pipes irritates the tongue and can cause cancer. Long stemmed pipe smokers are said to be less exposed, and General Grant’s death is linked to rapid smoking of many cigars.
An illiterate Boer travels to Cape Town to deposit savings. After receiving a bankbook, he asks how much to guard his money. The clerk offers payment to take care of it, provoking the Boer to demand his money back and declare British honesty a myth.
A British army emergency ration is issued in a two compartment tin, one side cocoa paste and the other pemmican style beef. The ration is designed for dire necessity and, if used sparingly, can sustain a soldier for about thirty six hours.
A London chemist faced a puzzled customer who asked for an article typically sold in his shop. He replied that he did not possess what she required, claiming to be a chemist, pure and simple. She countered that there was no doubt about his simplicity before leaving.
A dramatic exchange unfolds in a private room as a father confronts a courting couple. The father denounces the kiss while the young man defends the gesture as a compliment to his standing. The scene plays on family honor and social approval.
A street scene dialogue shows Goodart performing a counterfeit or magic style exchange. The old man is offered a five dollar bill and prompted to double it repeatedly, ending with the bill fitting snugly in a pocketbook.
If people do not naturally appreciate you, do not insist that they shall. It only makes matters worse.
The Saturday Evening Post argues that raising children prolongs life by keeping adults young in spirit and mind. It notes both heredity and environment shape offspring and suggests many people undertake parenthood, with children serving as old age security and a vanity of family immortality.
In Galton's Tropical South Africa the Dammaras count to three and use fingers for four while five or more cannot be counted. In barter each animal is paid separately and exchange rates like two sticks per sheep can confuse them. Galton’s examples show the dammaras insist on precise payments, seeking two sticks for each sheep even when extra sticks remain.
Writing in the Empire Review 8S. B. Kitchen notes locusts as tiny two to three inch insects wearing hard brown shells. Scout swarms hover red dust clouds while main bands fill the sky, tearing vegetation. Wing fanning brings cool air and a sea like ozone feel.
The laughing hyena is not a decoy for unwary travelers but remains one of the clever dumb animals. Its suspicion makes even string dangerous and trappers use plant stems in spring traps to avoid triggering it.
Muchpop declares his new yacht named for Brooklyn. A friend asks about christening and the judge notes they broke a nursing bottle full of milk instead of a wine bottle across the bow.
In a brief dialogue Pather and Son discuss losing their hat and coat. Father rushes about while Bobby suggests checking the hall rack, noting their mother is out and they must search or stay inside.
A brief theatrical exchange notes Captain Borrows as an imposing figure at the review grounds with a wry aside about his effect on friends. The Philadelphia Inquirer frame suggests a light, social observation note from a newspaper page.
A brief exchange in the Boston Transcript reflects a remark about calling Fred "brother." The speaker notes no secret society membership, saying the term stems from a promise by his wife to be a sister to Fred.
A customer complains that a hair restorer failed to work. The druggist retorts that no one in this enlightened age believes in charms.
A St. Louis Star item notes a parrot repeatedly saying Sit close and May Yes. It ponders whether the former owner was a street car conductor or a young lady keeping regular company.
A quotation from Dr G Saint Paul on Tunisians portrays Arab lying as obstinate and childish. It claims pride in dignity prevents confession, and fear of losing face keeps natives from admitting faults even under pressure.
A Peruvian observer reported a large white dog with near human-like intellect. He claimed the dog once had its broken foot treated by a surgeon, who later woke to find the dog and a brown mate at the surgeon’s door seeking aid, then left together after a handshake.
George F. Hoar recounts a barroom moment with Rufus Choate and Chief Justice Shaw. Choate quips about Shaw’s rough look while Hoar defers with reverence to the superior intellect, comparing himself to bowing before a wooden idol.
An old swimmer offers simple guidance for non swimmers to stay buoyant in still water. Clasp hands behind, face upward, and picture yourself as an empty pitcher with mouth and nose as the highest point. If you lift a hand you risk overturning the pitcher and sinking.
The text presents tolerance as calm respect for others, including enemies, combining silent justice with kindness. It argues tolerance seeks to elevate others through broader thinking and patient self-help, avoiding forceful argument, sarcasm, or ridicule.
A sharp exchange unfolds between Johnson and Thompson about a wife’s French speaking ability. Thompson claims she believes she speaks French, while Johnson bets she does not. The quip hinges on judging language skill by a waiter’s facial reaction to her words.
In a courtroom the magistrate questions a prisoner about breaking into a man's house at midnight. The prisoner retorts about last time the judge asked why he could rob in broad daylight and asks when he should commit his work. The exchange highlights the defendant's audacity and defiance before the court.
Mrs Extrygood asks about bright precocious babies in a quip exchanged with Old Batch. The humor centers on parents attributing clever phrases to infants and the older man’s playful skepticism.
A nine year old girl asked her father at her bedside what would be best to give her on her birthday. The child spoke as a little diplomat seeking guidance from her father. The London Telegraph reported the moment as a charming domestic vignette.
A longtime model recalls Whistler's rage over a painting selection. The artist had offered fifty dollars for any painting Whistler could extract from his studio. The tale ends with Whistler exclaiming Fifty dollars before storming off.
In fifty four years of life W E Henley endured lifelong health battles. A limb amputation became possible but Lister’s medicine saved his leg. Penniless and disabled he journeyed to Edinburgh infirmary where his leg was spared. His resilience inspired Stevenson’s John Silver sketch.
A New York Press note says the Red Sea’s red hue was temporary and linked to biblical locust plagues in Egypt. The article cites Exodus description of the plague and the Lord driving locusts into the Red Sea, leaving the sea normally colored today.
An essay questions why women are labeled curious and gossiping. It argues curiosity stems from mental growth limited by social roles and describes gossip as small talk about others, a reaction to attention on one’s own affairs.
A humorous anecdote recounts Eugene Field meeting a sister poet who asks if he writes. Field replies he writes a little and reveals his name as Field Eugene Field. The lady says she has not heard of him, to which Field quips about pretending to know her. He exits with a courteous farewell.
The nebular hypothesis persists in name but with varied connotations. Scientists disagree on how cosmic change began and formed order. While all agree a solar nebula started it, the nature of its substance light or dust and the process of sphere formation remain debated.
Dialog from the Kansas City Journal contrasts a man boarding a car with the postmaster general, noting he lacks brass buttons or stars and is not a soldier, just the official who hands out letters at general delivery.
The cochineal insect is noted as a medicine with a history of supposed virtues. Insect products include honey and wax used in pharmacy, while galls from insects supply astrigent properties and gallic and tannic acids.
An affecting moment unfolds as Mr Younghusband-Darling sobs and is asked what ails him, followed by a playful retort naming a dish Mrs Younghusband-Horse radish in a domestic scene.
A Milwaukee Sentinel aphorism notes that a man only feels his significance when his wife makes him aware that he is somebody. The line underscores domestic recognition elevating self view in relationships.
The article explains that lip hairs on horses act as delicate touch organs similar to human fingers and cat whiskers. They sense stimuli from new foods and water surfaces, guiding the upper lip and tongue in judging safety and cleanliness before consumption.
Charles Protheroe describes two sea fare names Dog's Body and Dandy Fank. Biscuits called pantiles are pounded into powder mixed with leftover pea soup to form a paste, fat pork added for flavor, then baked. Dandy funk uses molasses for a similar variant.
The onion dates back to antiquity with early cultivation in Egypt over two thousand years ago and worship as a god. Romans and Greeks knew several onion varieties and Egypt revered the crop as divine humor. Garlic has long been grown in China and used by ancient Egyptians, though no carvings show it, possibly due to priestly taboos.
Ada Paterson notes sundials as the oldest timekeepers dating before the pharaohs. She mentions Egyptian relics and Chinese pocket sundials, with a Chinese craftsman using porch shadows to regulate watches.
The Memphis Scimitar recounts a comic exchange where an editor explains journalism to his son. He describes a journalist as a man who wears a plug hat and no shoes and borrows money from newspaper men, a pointed jab at the trade’s image.
A frustrated customer confronts a trunk dealer about moth proofing. The dealer defends the product, claiming it was moth proof, but the customer reveals moths in the trunk’s contents, prompting the dealer to insist on the proven effectiveness.
A Westerner arriving in New York is confronted by a robber who demands money or he will blow out the speaker’s brains. The Westerner retorts that you can live in the city without brains but not without money.
London Academy notes that a child’s mind possesses strong logical faculty and is not muddled by excess information, contrasting with grownups who read newspapers and study Britannica.
A noted physician writes that anger unfits the stomach for work and, if frequent or prolonged, warrants little food. Those who indulge in anger have a double reason to fast as both folly and stomach demand restraint.
A Philadelphia Record quotation states a woman possesses greater knowledge of dress than any man has about all other topics combined.
A compact reflection on fame as the fragrance of heroic acts attributed to Bocrates, noting how deeds define lasting reputation. The phrase suggests noble actions leave a lasting, admired impression.
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