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Newspaper
Garland Globe
Location
Garland, Utah, United States of America
Date
May 01, 1909
Page
7
A father explains to his son that a man from Poland is a Pole, while musing why a man from Holland isn’t a Hole. The joke turns on English demonyms and pronunciation.
An 1908 testimonial from L. Wilson of Puryear Tennessee describes three years of severe painful swellings on the face neck and body that left itching scars and resisted two doctors. After using Cuticura Remedies for three weeks he reports most places nearly healed and now sound and well. A second fragment recounts a dime museum lecturer joking about a supposed assized man who turned to stone by love, prompting a brief moral of overdoing it.
An eye salve advertisement touts Mitchells Eye Salve as a pure harmless surface remedy with notable relief for eye lid issues. It claims simple methods and wonderful results at 25 cents, sold by all druggists. Inside History. A humorous domestic quip ends with a provoked husband remark about saying anything worth minding.
Fatelle and Maybelle discuss an upcoming June wedding as they chat about Allen's Foot Nose, a foot powder claimed to cure painful, swollen feet. The ad notes it eases shoe wear and is sold by druggists and shoe stores with a free sample offer from A. B. Olmated of LeRoy, New York.
An old advertisement promotes Marine Eye Remedy Co. Chicago for an illustrated eye book and druggists carry the remedy. It touts eye soothing effects for irritation from dust heat or wind and mentions Pettit’s Eye Salve and herbal products as health aids. The copy uses dated marketing language and references various doctors and manufacturers to sell eye care products.
Bread prices rise in Ely as bakers push to 15 cents a loaf. Pueblo plans a two million dollar irrigation project to reclaim 200000 arid acres. Union Pacific installs a 100 ton car scale in Cheyenne yards. Montana figures include death of Patrick Donovan at Missoula and a fire causing injuries near the same city. Northern highlights include fur seals near Sitka and unrest at Vashon college. Oregon commentator Harvey W. Scott declines Mexico post. Henry L. Wilson linked to Mexico. Wyoming sheep deals, mining deaths, and indictments populate a wide regional roundup with criminal cases, rail talks, and public notices.
A round of late April and early May 1900 events reported include Peter F. Collier’s sudden death in New York, a deadly Topeka hotel fire with several fatalities, Connecticut Governor George Lilley’s death, and widescale Western drought impacts on cattle. The era’s tremors include a Pecos prairie fire, a Chicago court ruling in the Santa Fe telegraphers case, and a deadly Ohio tornado. Additional items cover railway accidents, riots in Adana, And train wreck tolls, plus industrial fines and canal zone costs, with notable incidents in Milwaukee, Knoxville, and Vienna.
A guide on choosing color schemes for homes stresses exterior and interior balance based on house size style and surroundings. It promotes studying color books from National Lead Company offering a Houseowner's Painting Outfit No 49 with paint purity testing tools and includes Dutch Boy trademark verification. The piece also references a humorous dinner exchange between Bishop Donne of Albany and Dr Hosmer over grace and shop talk.
A 1909 report notes sharp growth in state and local tuberculosis societies in the United States, with sanitoria and clinics up over thirty percent and dispensaries up over forty percent. It cites a doubling of tuberculosis relief funding, a 200 percent rise in workers, and laws across thirty-three of forty states moving to prevent and treat tuberculosis as spring sessions near conclusion.
A brief, humorous exchange spots two residents debating dress care and social scrutiny. One warns against rain ruining a starched dress, the other jokes about a person seeing her best dress and removing the starch from her in return.
A prominent Georgia physician recounts his illness and recovery using Grape-Nuts. He claims the food restored strength, improved digestion, and aided convalescents and nervous tissue. He urges others to try a 10 day trial and notes the booklet The Road to Wellville.
G W Whitney of Medina New York describes his kidney pain relief after using Dean's Kidney Pills. He claims initial weight 147 pounds, later 162 after 10 or 12 boxes, and complete recovery. Pills sold 60 cents a box by Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo. Snippets about seeking recognition and a teething remedy for children accompany the page.
Mrs Shace Langdon 81 of Chicago credits Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound with saving her life and restoring health after doctors warned she needed major surgery. The testimonial cites relief from displacements inflammation fibroid tumors irregularities and nervous prostration and notes the remedy is inexpensive and effective.
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