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Newspaper
Garland Globe
Location
Garland, Utah, United States of America
Date
Jan 15, 1910
Page
6
A fragmentary ad copy from a local seller touts guaranteed prices and urges readers to vote in a poll. The message emphasizes fair pricing and discourages taking chances on offers that seem too good to be true.
The text recalls Joseph Dorsey of San Jose a famed detective famed for pursuing Canon Bernari from Alaska to Cape Horn. He claimed success sprang from knowing human habits, noting even tramps reveal patterns. A December exchange with a tramp showcases this philosophy amid mild winter banter.
A retold anecdote attributed to Paul Lawrence Dunbar describes a dream in which Tad dies and goes to hell where many white men hold a black man between themselves and the fire. The tale is told as a parable about racial injustice and complicity.
The late Chief Justice Chase, famed for gallantry, meets a Confederate loyalist during a postwar southern visit. She declares herself a rebel not reconstructed, and Chase bows to respond that reconstruction would be blasphemous in her case.
Addison Mizner, famed New York vivier, discusses a Broadway matter and the feminine toilette. He recalls a prima donna saying less clothing takes longer to dress. The ensuing wry exchange questions how dancers manage their turns on stage.
A lawyer argues against making direct accusations amid a damages suit, noting the harm of insinuations to a client’s good name. He recalls a rumor about a woman and a hired girl involving a parrot and a dropped collar button as an illustration of careless gossip.
A lawyer asks the distance between two towns and a witness mishears. The judge clarifies with a string of garbled phrases about the flow of wires and the cry of birds. The scene ends with everyone laughing at the muddled exchange from Everybody's Magazine.
A brief humorous exchange notes Hardup recalling a past boast of more snoney than brains. Wite asks why not and he replies he has refined his line with his best shilling. Wile comments that he still has a 'aphilling' despite changes in fortune.
A Philadelphia Ledger note recalls a witty line about a mummy arriving in New York, remarking on the secret of keeping a cook and the suburban sigh of envy, reflecting humorous commentary on ancient relics and modern life.
Salt Lake City report on 1909 publicity by the Oregon Short Line Passenger Department led by D. B. Burley shows travel up over 60 percent, with increased interest in Yellowstone, Alaska Yukon Pacific, colonist movements, and Western settlement. The program blends Community Plans with dramatic booklets like Scenic Idaho and a four color Yellowstone promo.
In Tallahassee Mia a 17 year old Paul Sauls watched the poste office basement when two white burglars tried to seize him. He shot both men after they threatened him with a rope and demanded surrender. Sauls was only slightly injured. The attackers escaped and were not identified.
Salt Lake City reports the Salt Lake Route suffers severe washouts in Meadow Valley with bridges and track washed away. Through traffic halted for months, calls for possible reconstructions via Bristol Pass or St George, Utah. Callente inundated, hundreds of workers displaced, including some officers. Local Utah trains run with improvements. through trains canceled indefinitely. Public sympathy extends to the railroad and its impact on commerce.
Washington data shows the postal service posting a gross revenue of 208,562,383 dollars for the year ended June 30, 1909, up 12,083,720 dollars or 6.31 percent. Presidential post offices rose to 7,202 with class breakdowns and numerous new offices created while many were discontinued, bringing total post offices to 60,144.
In Ballinger Texas F B Kimbler attacked his wife with a hatchet in a dawn incident then killed two children in their beds injured a niece and fatally wounded himself with a razor. Authorities believe a sudden mental breakdown from worry caused the act.
At a Waseda University dormitory dedication, Count Okuwan praised Japan for awakening to freedom while noting China once slept. He contrasted oriental sages’ theoretical virtue with the Sage of Judea urging practiced virtue as the source of western moral force.
In a playful scene, Fuzzy Frank asks for water and hints at manipulation of a tumbler and pump. The lady obliges and points to the tumbler and pump as the source, while Frank asks her to operate the handle briefly.
A woman details severe eczema four years prior, bedridden for six weeks with relentless itching and burning. After doctor gave up, she used Cuticura Soap Ointment and Resolvent, sleeping well after the first bath, and was able to return home after about three weeks with no ill effects since.
Two Yale students wander the Cambridge Harvard yard seeking the university. A sober Harvard undergraduate offers no smile and explains Harvard is locked because so many Yale men are in town. The moment captures the campus rivalry on the morning of a Yale Harvard game.
Senator Beveridge notes snow has drawbacks yet beauty, recalling an Indianapolis man who mocked Solomon for praising Jerusalem's beauty. The wag argues Solomon spoke as a wealthy observer, while a poor stone cutter would see hardship.
James R. Keene, discussing jumping contests at the New York horse show, argues hunting breeds savage selfishness. He cites a cold day when Jones rode toward a brooke and saw a friend's head in the ice, shouting duck and leaping over instead of helping.
A woman doctor narrates a coffee poisoning case praising Postum as the cure. She describes twelve years of neuralgic headaches, weight loss, and social withdrawal that improved after two weeks of Postum, with regained clarity and strength. The testimonial ends inviting readers to read The Road to Wellville and noting new letters appear periodically.
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