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This newspaper page contains 6 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Garden City Telegram
Location
Garden City, Kansas, United States of America
Date
May 15, 1981
Page
4
The column urges raising cigarette and liquor taxes as a simple revenue source, noting past rates and potential $40 million annual gains. It argues higher prices could improve public health while acknowledging cross-border shopping and persistent consumer habits, then veers into general political skepticism and global affairs.
A satire on U S policy mocking grain and butter subsidies, auto industry pricing, and union wage demands. It notes lifting the grain embargo, butter exports below cost, auto prices rising, unemployment and retirement rules, and Social Security changes as examples of government absurdity. The author suggests more butter salesmen might be needed.
A humorous column notes changing weather folklore from old country sayings to May clout, and witty lines about bumper stickers and a soggy May. A butterfly, ladybugs, and a damp night on a water bed set scenes while a lawn bag analysis and a cat in motion add domestic mishaps.
In a Buchwald riff Robinson reads the Second Amendment aloud and argues a twist: the militia clause could justify universal gun ownership if buyers sign up into an organized militia. The piece lampoons the NRA stance and constitutional interpretation.
A speaker proposes gun owners form a local militia after training by NRA members. Owners would patrol neighborhoods at night in two shifts, wear ribbons, receive PX privileges, and answer to military discipline. The plan aims to aid police, with constitutional safeguards and no pay.
The piece details FBI con man Mel Weinberg and Agent Amoroso allegedly forging a letter to implicate Senator Pete Williams in a titanium mine scheme linked to ABSCAM. It cites a 1979 taped exchange with Camden Mayor Errichetti about fabricating incriminating correspondence and notes related court briefs and proceedings.
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