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This newspaper page contains 10 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ferdinand News
Location
Ferdinand, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 11, 1917
Page
3
The text urges avoiding early death by protecting kidneys through plenty of pure water and Anuric double strength before meals. It claims kidney degeneration causes auto intoxication and advocates Anuric as a superior dissolver of uric acid, available at most drug stores.
A Berry Bird reader Mrs F Layton shares relief after using Dr Pierce’s Favorite Prescription and Pleasant Pellets. She claims three bottles restored health, energy, sleep, and appetite, enabling her to manage housework again. The ad cites natural roots, no alcohol, no narcotics, and availability from medicine dealers.
Paddy jokes about a con on Murphy. He boasts in a pot house corner that he has swapped an old mare for hay. The neighbor questions the plan but Paddy gleefully explains Murphy will lend back the mare to eat it.
An advertisement claims freezone will remove corns by applying a few drops to the affected area. The drug supposedly relieves soreness, dries instantly, and makes the corn lift out with minimal irritation, with a small bottle priced inexpensively.
A quip about a liquor bar leads to a humorous exchange with a waitress. The passage includes a remark about mistaking a bar of soap for a bar and ends with a note that Iceland forbids whistling as a breach of divine law.
Kin Hubbard notes humorously mix wit and health tips for summer living. Advice ranges from liver tidying to dental bills, dress restraint for fifty, and managing engagements, with quips about June brides and white shoes in a period newspaper tone. The piece ends noting White shoes will look as big as ever this season.
Miss Fawn Lippincut pens a homespun column urging midwest home life while lampooning social mores. The text blends domestic anecdotes with humorous cautions on marriage parenting and etiquette amid rural life, featuring playful aphorisms and dated references.
A formal diction piece revolves around the duty to discharge a subordinate named as Boss or Bossed Well. The dialogue frames a polite but firm Severance, highlighting the burden of carrying out difficult professional duties.
The ad touts ethine-double strength as a guaranteed remedy to remove freckles with an ounce or less of the product applied at night and morning. It promises rapid skin clearing and a guaranteed money back offer if freckles persist, urging shoppers to seek the double strength Othine. The piece also includes unrelated clippings and notices about fashion and Bermuda onion exports.
At length the fools tired of adages targeted at them fall silent. At the funeral the wise weep bitterly over the loss and mourn their own failed sustenance. Dust is cast upon their heads as a token of desolation.
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