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Eugene Weekly Guard in Eugene, Oregon

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Articles on This Page

This newspaper page contains 25 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Eugene Weekly Guard

Location

Eugene, Oregon, United States of America

Date

Jun 13, 1903

Page

3

Hood's Sarsaparilla Promises Restore Vital Organs

The ad touts Hood's Sarsaparilla as a powerful tonic and alterative for liver and kidneys. It claims the remedy restores vigor, aids function, and cures general ailments such as yellowing, constipation, bad taste, headaches, pimples, blotches, and loss of courage.

Potter Queen of River Boats to Sail from Portland

Popular excursion steamer T. J Potter Queen of river boats will begin service June 27 leaving Portland Tuesday through Saturday. A five hour trip up the Columbia to Ilwaco offers views of fishing waters salmon traps and nets and a transfer to Ilwaco Railway trains to reach North Beach beaches stretching 27 miles with beaches beside the water.

T. J Potter Portland Columbia Astoria Ilwaco Ilwaco Railway & Navigation Company

Youthful bank president Wade H Negus in Greenville Miss

Wade H Negus age 24 elected president of First National Bank Greenville succeeding his late father Mayor James E Nogue. Likely the youngest bank president in the United States.

Wade H. Negus Greenville Miss First National Bank James E. Nogue United States

Do Ministers Take In This Town in Colonial Black Cork Troupe

An advance agent asks if ministers take in the touring troupe. The innkeeper recalls the last visit where the actors drank, ate, and even took soap from rooms, leaving the establishment sour.

Show closed after counterfeit realism clash

Manager in plaid vest confirms closing the show amid stage turmoil. Actors refused further performance due to a counterfeit money scene requiring visual reference.

Schoolmaster and pupil convert sentence to imperative

A classroom exchange shows the schoolmaster asking to transform a sentence into the imperative form while the pupil provides a playful version. The dialogue highlights teaching mechanics and student participation.

Jones Chume

Conversation about Bix and Dix discussing musical talents

In a brief exchange Bix asks if his wife plays the piano and Dix questions if she plays any instrument. Bix replies none, and Dix remarks that she should be proud of her accomplishments.

Bix Dix

Summer excursion by the Columbia River and a joke collection

The article describes low tides and ideal conditions for beach activities along the Columbia valley, with cheap lodging and travel from Portland. It notes round trip fares to Astoria and Ocean Beach, a free summer booklet from the Oregon Railroad & Navigation Company, and ends with a string of humorous child and adult quips about cattle money, Europe, mil‑lionaire dreams, and misheard animal sounds.

Portland Astoria Ocean Beach Oregon Railroad & Navigation Company Columbia River A. L. Craig Oregon

Sign of Posterity in Banking Credit Questioned

A senator debates whether oral legacy matters, saying only his signature at the bank matters for posterity. The Washington Star quotes Sorghum reflecting on fame and the value of future memory versus present credit.

Senator Sorghum Washington Star

Child answers neighbor on illness mystery

A neighbor asks young Nettie about her father's illness. The three year old replies with blunt humor that he is not a doctor, revealing a child's candid take on the question.

Nettie

Club Frays Over Expenses Despite Humorous Fund

A Philadelphia Bulletin quote reveals a club split due to inability to cover costs with only a humor fund. The remark cites lack of fan support and insufficient funding as the key factors behind the breakup, highlighting the challenge of sustaining a group on entertainment value alone.

Philadelphia Bulletin

Wesley grows up in a child's quick reply

A friend who had not seen Wesley for years asks what he has been doing since last seeing him. The three year old answers with a candid remark, Been growin, highlighting the simplicity and humor of childhood speech.

Wesley

Monument plan in New York for Benedict Arnold sparks revival talk

An Army and Navy Journal remark recalls a year old effort by an American author to vindicate Aaron Burr and notes proposals to honor Benedict Arnold with a monument in New York City, suggesting that if trends continue even Judas Iscariot might find a posthumous tribute.

Aaron Burr New York Benedict Arnold Judas Iscariot Army and Navy Journal

Effect of Anæsthetics in Dentist Chair Sparks Laughter

A woman recalls patients under chloroform and ether, noting women become playful or verbose after reaching consciousness. A nurse explains why women often yield better, while men may resist. A male patient allegedly acts as a jubilant benefactor after gas, tossing bills as a mild lunacy before returning to normal. The tale, reported via the New York Times, closes with playful banter from other items.

S. S Swift Specific CO Atlanta Biu Billingsgate Millonaire New York Times

Wandering wit and shop talk in a city column

The Philadelphia Press quips about cigar brands and a bum actor named label while detailing a wandering man who prefers not to reveal trouble, and notes how workers are often careless or empty in purpose. The piece blends humor with social observation about men and excuses in daily life.

Woman Credits Pinkham Remedy For Curing Ovarian Ailments

A young New York woman recounts severe ovarian inflammation with dragging pains and headaches. After using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound she improves rapidly and claims a full cure, urging others to try the remedy as a cheaper alternative to doctors.

F. Wright Celwein Iowa Lydia E Pinkham Lydia E. Pinkham Adelaide Plan St. Ann's Ave New York City

Beautiful Teeth and the Call to Dental Care

Dentist Dr W A Wise of Portland urges Northwest residents to improve oral health. He notes modern clinics like Wise Brothers offer affordable, painless dentistry and praises new dental tech that makes repairs easy. He warns against neglect, urging readers to get a new set or replacements to regain confidence.

W. A. Wise Portland Oregon Northwest Wise Brothers

To Make a Long Story Short Flagged as a Bluff

A quoted exchange centers on a habit of starting with the phrase to give the impression of action. The dialogue suggests the speaker uses the line to prompt belief that a plan will be carried out rather than to provide a concise summary.

Greatest floating dry dock to be built for Philippines voyage

Maryland Steel plans the world’s largest steel dry dock to tow from the Atlantic to Manila. At 500 feet long and about 10,000 tons, it costs $1,124,000 and will lift battleships two feet, with a self locking system and three permanent pontoons. The project includes a long voyage across the Atlantic through the Mediterranean and Suez to Manila, awaiting favorable weather and multiple tug crews.

Philippines Philippine Islands Maryland Steel Company Atlantic Navy Department Algiers New Orleans Patapsco Baltimore American Atlantic Ocean Mediterranean Sea Suez Canal Red Sea Indian Ocean China Sea Manila Algiers Dock Manila Dock

Fortune For Hat Highlights Expensive New York Fashion

New York society woman pays 1400 for a much talked about mead decoration hat from a Fifth Avenue milliner. Four sable skins and a rolled left flare frame created an exclusive look with no duplicates promised anywhere. Justice O Brien quips about Abe Gruber at a Friendly Sons of St Patrick dinner.

Eve New York Philadelphia Ledger Fifth Avenue East Siberia Morgan J. O'Brien Society of the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick Abe Gruber Erin New York Times

Fragmented quotes and captions from old papers

A garbled collage of quotes and snippets from Cleveland Plain Dealer and Philadelphia Bulletin items. Mentions a rejected marriage proposal from 22 years ago and a stage performance juried as captivating testimony in a divorce case. Ends with unrelated note about a writer performing tricks.

Cleveland Plain Dealer Philadelphia Bulletin

Classified ad for Kline's nerve restorer and catarrh cure

An old newspaper fragment promotes Kline's Great Nerve Restorer from Bend, Oregon and a $2 trial offer in Philadelphia. It includes a folktale about an equator joke and stresses catarrh as a constitutional disease, advertising Hall's Catarrh Cure with testimonials and a money back claim.

Kline ROH. Kaine. Ltd Arebst Philadelphia Hall F. J. Cheney & Co Toledo Ohio Cleney &O

Teacher Tests Passive To Active Voice In Grammar Lesson

A classroom scene has a teacher asking John to convert a passive phrase to active. The excerpt also mentions Piso’s Cure for coughs and consumption with a price of 25 cents at druggists.

John

Klean Kool Kitchen Kin Stove Trademark Noted

A trade mark on stoves proclaims they enable cooking in comfort in a cool kitchen. A husband and wife exchange lines on vacation plans, highlighting affordability and restlessness as themes.

Senator Frye Refuses Magazine Reminiscences

Senator Frye declines to write reminiscences for a magazine, opposing public figures sharing tales out of aehoo. The stance highlights his refusal to participate in personal recollections published by others.

Frye Aehoo

Also Mentioned on This Page

North Beach T. J. Potter Julia Santa Craig Papa Merica Mr. Meekto Daniel Little Dan McQueery Hunter Baltimore Herald Philadelphia Press Inqluire Timn Patrice Carter JicuPood Surcessul New York Society Mead Mrrs Helen Kilkenny New Portland Ayer J ¢ Ayer Lowell Masa Rex Hubby Reierson Machinery CO Morrison Street Mann, the Seedman Front Street Keeley of The PonrLann Ont Jasm Asphanpe Philadelphis. Pa Merling Remedy Company Chitege Mesirea Terk Rambler Oldsmobile Waverly & Toledo SAL Monarch Crescent & BA Fred T, Merrill Cycle CO Portland, Oregon Tacoma St. Jacobs Oil Frakes Price Mitchell & Bee Line Buggies Mitchell, Lewis & Stayer Portland, OR Spokane Boise N.U Fairbanks-Morse Portland, On Market Street San Francisco Cal Roney St. Los Angeles Los Angeles
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