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Eugene Weekly Guard in Eugene, Oregon

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This newspaper page contains 25 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Eugene Weekly Guard

Location

Eugene, Oregon, United States of America

Date

Jul 18, 1903

Page

3

Farmer's Daughter Stirred by Love and Deception

Winifred faces social scrutiny as Lord Harold Erskine and Errol Hastings contend for her affection. A tale of flirtation, class expectations, and a painful marriage unfolds at Endon Vale and the Cedars as truths about past romances threaten future happiness.

Lord Harold Erskine Endon Vale Winifred Lady Grace Lord Harold Trace Errol Hastings Lord Harold Rose Off. the Day Seemed A Little Dull To Winifred Mr. Hastings Mr. Clayton Miss Eyre Hastings Hazell Woods Lord Harold Bethought Lord Lancing Flora Reginald Champion Sir Clayton Sane Errol Plano Sir Clayton Lady Grace Farquhar Grace Old Harold the Cedars Francis Clayton

Misguided Social Jostle Over a Piano Performance

In a tense scene Mr. Clayton tries to control the piano noise and keeps prompting Miss Eyre to sing. Winifred resists, defending Miss Eyre and chafing at perceived slights. Mrs Clayton’s influence sparks further friction as the quarrel escalates.

Marion Miss Eyre Winifred Fee Mr. Clayton

Mosquitoes in Louisiana A Monster Gallinipper Dominates

A Bayou Sara resident describes eight to nine mosquito varieties in Louisiana swamp bayous led by a giant gallinipper. The monster, half an inch long with a one inch wingspan, bears a saw a gimlet a lance and a suction pump. Its bites cause severe pain and long lasting soreness. Despite danger anglers risk the swamps for good fishing including perch bass jackfish and pickerel amid venomous insects.

Liz Bayou Sara Louisiana Swamp New Jersey Staten Island New York Louisiana

Father Taylor and the merchant princes of Boston

Stories of Father Taylor highlight his blunt honesty and warmth toward sailors. A Hes ton banker visiting his church during a revival gave a pompous urban speech praising merchants as job creators for seamen, prompting Father Taylor to retort with a simple call for any other sinner from up town to speak.

Father Taylor West End Heston Boston

Parliament member doubts precocious child tales

A member of Parliament questions stories of gifted children and notes occasional genuine humor from young pupils. He recalls a Sunday school scene where a child answered a query about Moses with “Please, sir, be married one of Jethro's daughters.”

Moses Jethro

Pleasantry in Passing

A brief wry exchange between a thin man and a stout passenger jokes about charging by weight for trailer company passengers. The dialogue, quoted from the Philadelphia Press, contrasts future pricing with current passenger comfort and value. The piece ends with a quip about mercy as the greenest firmness.

Phiadelphia Press

Adventures of Lads Desiring World Travel End in Capture

A trio of boys chase risky travel adventures recounted in Chums. One hides in a lime kiln after forced labor by circus staff, another flees on freight buffers but is kept by railway men until debt paid, and a third is smuggled into a submarine, then rescued by his father.

Europe

Humor Of The Week Oddities From Eminent Word Artists

A humor feature parades oddities and jokes with puns and quips. A detective notes a female kleptomaniac and other quick lines include a medical student corn cure and a ghoulish embryo joke. A couple grounds punchlines about misfits and fashion.

Oddest County Jail in Clifton Arizona

Graham County Jail at Clifton Arizona is described as the most unusual in the United States. Four large quartz rock apartments, a boxlike vestibule with three steel gate sets, and windows blasted in rock with heavy bars firmed in place. Cement floor and rock walls up to fifteen feet thick, prisoners confined to large units, with no escapes attempted. Clifton, a copper mining camp, is portrayed as depraved with extreme temperatures ranging from 40 to 120 degrees.

Graham County Clifton Ariz America Black Jack Arizona

Times Ain't What They Used to Be

A remark from Farmer Corntessel contrasts past disgrace with present notoriety as arrests gain newspaper attention alongside wealthy owners of fast horses and big cars, reflecting on media fame and social change.

Corntessel Washington Star

Contingent Fee in Lawyer's Court Fight

Pa explains a contingent fee as a lawyer's conditional arrangement. If he brings suit for a client and loses he gets nothing. If he wins the client gets nothing. The exchange uses rustic dialect and references a Georgia lightning tale.

Willie

Secretary Hitchcock Rides Large Ostrich at Hot Springs

Secretary Hitchcock, Ethan Allen Hitchcock, visited a Hot Springs ostrich farm and rode behind a large ostrich named Black Diamond. Described as strong and fast yet docile, the bird pulled a runabout as it trotted at horse speed.

Ethan Allen Stchcock Secretary of the Interior Hot Springs Black Diamond Hitchcock

Ambitious Navy Bathing Quarters Draw Fire

A New York Times item notes debate over lavish bath facilities for the admiral and his guest in an expansive naval quarters. Critics question the necessity of two baths amid calls to abolish spending on such comforts.

New York Times

Luxuries on battleships spark weight debate in navy

Rear Admiral Bowles reports battleships carry about 150 tons of luxuries not essential to war, including furniture, ice machines, refrigerators, radiators and related apparatus. The Board of Construction considers what counts as a luxury versus necessity, with bathrooms and wardroom facilities under scrutiny.

Bowles Bureau of Construction Board of Admiral Bowles Lazaries Bowles de

Fireball Crash Shocks Northern California Towns

A brilliant ball of fire fell from a clear sky near Anderson two miles east, striking a farm as snow fell earlier and a thunderous explosion echoed to Redding thirteen miles away. Windows rattled, structures cracked, and utilities went out briefly amid panic in the Anderson area.

California Anderson Redding

Blue stockings term a lading for literary women origins

The phrase blue stockings links to Samuel Johnson era women who debated learned topics. By 1730 gatherings of ladies with witty men became popular, and a noted member like Mr Stillingfleet wore blue stockings. Absence of such women was said to hinder gatherings. A proverb closes with a quip that lazy men cannot make enemies.

Samuel Johnson Stillingfleet

Golfer jokes about breaking records and sticks

A humorous exchange highlights a golfer claiming to have “broken twenty six golf sticks” along with a front gate, honeysuckle vine, the cat’s back, and his right leg since starting to play. The banter ends with a light boast about coming on strong.

Elopers Discovered at Niagara Falls Telegraph Home

Report says Jay Mammna-Yes elopers located at Niagara Falls and plan to telegraph home seeking forgiveness. Papa expresses relief fearing a telegraph for funds.

Jay Mammna Niagara Falla Papa Funda

Main Difference in Tours and Households

A quirky Philadelphia Ledger line notes a quirky exchange about a personally conducted tour versus other tours. It mentions Bridget, Miss Gladys, and a candy box, with Habbing It In and a brief dialogue about home and visiting.

la Montt la Moyne Bridget Gladys Mr. Kallow Philadelphia Ledger

At the Circus a Life Threat and Laughing Gaffe

A showman shouts to shoot a released leopard while a green tent boy asks where to aim. The scene riffs on Bluffwood’s flair for misinterpreting modern tech, with a horn mistaken for an automobile.

Humorous Social Bits and Misprints From Old Papers

A collage of comic lines and captions from vintage newspapers. Jests cover fortune tellers, misunderstandings, marital squabbles, a watch thief, and a mosquito tale, with witty exchanges and schematic gags. References include Philadelphia Press Comic Cuts Puck New York Weekly and Philadelphia Preas.

Do You Know Sue Dear Est Little Mouse

A playful dialogue between Sue and another about mice and fear ends with a wry remark on camels. A young man newly abroad describes riding a camel and feeling seasick after a long voyage. The brief exchange captures light whimsy typical of a sentence from the Washington Star.

Sue Washington Star

Professional Sprinters and the Season’s Quick Jokes

A clipped collage of quips features a hotel runner MacHam the tragedian, stations and hotels in a bumbling joke, plus a Cleveland Plain Dealer quote. The dialogue shifts to a beach romance where a slow suitor is mocked, and a child learns about flattery from his father in a brief, humorous exchange.

MacHam Sweet Singer

The Difference Skit Exchange in London Society

A witty dialogue scene shows Molly and Cholly reacting to a marriage proposal while London Modern Society riffs on nerves and reluctance. Harry plans to ask Croaswood for his daughter's hand by phone, joking that the old man will likely refuse.

Molly Cholly Harry Old Croaswood Tom

Farm Opera Call Shows Modern Midwest Utilities

A Northern Indiana farmer answers a telephone ring and learns an opera bass is needed for tomorrow night. The caller offers a free singer by the dozen, asking about delivery. The mix up reveals rural access to new services and ironic humor from the Barataria frog farm.

Middle West Indiana

Also Mentioned on This Page

Mrs. Forrester Madame de Montclied Madame Evans London Madame de Montolieu Hazel Court G. d Radical Kenedy Oddest County United States Georgia Sub Atlanta Constitution Sor Bluffwood Edyth Mayme Philadelphia Press Willam Wiliam New York Weekly Puck Soman Phildelphia Preas Bo Edgewood Indianapolis Opera Barataria
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