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This newspaper page contains 23 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Jan 02, 1904
Page
5
A compendium of satirical notes and social quips from the Eugene Weekly Guard. Topics span wealth figures from Rockefeller to the Vanderbilt circle, English critiques of American women, and jokes about crime, cigars, and brain fag. International notes touch on Alaskan boundary tribunal, Persia, and a diplomat dentist incident.
A long, opinionated critique argues that sensational crime and lax law breed a vicious youth. It foresees a future dominated by machinery, where crime dwindles but dulls human life, and laments a world lacking romance, poverty, or ambition.
The seven blocks from Randolph to Harrison on State Street now host major dry goods and department stores. Advertisers have grown from minimal layouts to expenditures over $200,000 annually in Chicago newspapers, with fourteen leading advertisers bearing about 95 percent of the total. This advertising boom, largely built since 1883, marks two decades of rapid growth.
A fragment features a man and Beery Bill debating luck and knocking at doors with a humorous tone. It captures a stray line from a late 19th century Cincinnati Star style exchange. The piece reflects local color and informal speech.
A brief flyspeck note traces a journalism family, naming the father as a journalist and the son poised to continue in media, set amid references to Washington and newspaper work. The item reads like a local column on careers and media lineage.
The article cites that civilian passengers through the Suca canal last year numbered 12 008 while pilgrims emigrants and convicts reached 40 000. It notes a remark that poker is not a game of chance or at least that the novice has no chance.
Harper's Weekly notes that many American women have married European nobles, including York’s wife of Count von Waldersee and former spouses of Hungarian and Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. The piece compares sixteenth quarterings norms and observes a generally higher happiness average in these international unions.
The New York Observer argues education should end in utility, not dreamer detachment. Idealism foundations usefulness, calling graduates to apply culture to public life and civic duty while avoiding industrial overemphasis that reduces minds to machines.
The Boston Transcript envisions parlor cars and sleeping cars on trolley lines expanding into movable trolley houses. It suggests building spurs to country or seashore sites, with dwellings parked at convenient spots and moved as needed. Water supply and self-motivated tenants are noted as future details for refinement.
The St. Paul Pioneer Press reports a mass shift of American farmers toward Western Canada driven by land speculation. It argues large tracts near Minnesota and neighboring states sit idle as speculators hoard lands awaiting price rises, hindering settlement and cultivation.
The piece argues that American women have long wed foreign nobles beyond Britain, citing French, Italian, Spanish, and German examples. It notes several titled unions from the era, including the Due de Rochefoucauld and the Duchesse Arcosa, illustrating widespread cross‑national alliances among American girls and European nobility.
The Baltimore Sun reports American Industries study of 9,971 failures. Twenty percent blamed on incompetence, thirty percent on lack of capital, seventeen percent on uncontrollable circumstances, ten percent on fraud, seven percent on inexperience. Unwise credits push total explained failures to about thirty percent.
The Chicago Tribune notes that industrialized society with factories and railroads creates continual noise that harms health. It argues for measures to combat loud sound as it does for smoke and odors, a fact medieval times did not confront.
Readable fragments recount popular beliefs about mad dogs and madstones, noting that some insist on killing biting dogs to prevent hydrophobia, while others champion stones as cures. A Nevada stock scheme centered on a Russian claims-backed stone prompts belief in its healing power despite dubious evidence.
German daredevil Paul Munder, formerly an amateur cyclist, now performs a perilous act as a circus rider. He speeds down a fifty foot incline and leaps about forty feet to land on a mattress, drawing crowds in Berlin and rumored to tour American audiences soon.
An offer of five thousand dollars for it has been refused according to a brief item from the New York Evening Post. The note records a rejected bid without detailing the item or parties involved.
Professor Werner of Vienna reports on how reptiles and amphibians seem drawn to water and light, suggesting a mysterious chemical attraction guiding creatures beyond known senses. He notes frogs see far, snakes poorly, and many reptiles are deaf. anecdotes include crocodiles and boas. The piece closes with humorous exchanges about heaven and sects.
Reginald Rankin survived a blizzard near the summit of Aconcagua after his companions were miles below. He woke in a snow cave as a crescent moon lit a blue sky, freed his limbs from ice, trekked to his guides, and endured frostbite leading to toe amputation after reaching civilization.
A witticism from a Philadelphia press item notes two men speculating on how long a person can go without food to settle a bet. The quip pivots on misdirection, with one man directing to a poet rather than a food expert, highlighting a playful exchange in a newspaper item.
A quirky dialogue fragment shows Subbubs and Popley joking about numbers and wordplay. The text includes garbled phrases and a stray line about the office hunting season being open year round.
Fragments from a printed page mix Robert of Lincoln song lyrics with Burns lines. The piece weaves a playful birdsong bob o link motif with a quiet domestic scene and ends with a Burns verse about a lost rose and love. Numerous proper nouns appear such as Robert of Lincoln and W. C. Bryant.
The New York Press reports a Gulf and Interstate Railway train that left Bolivar on September 8, 1900, was stranded after a storm washed away 30 miles of track near Galveston. Passengers and Bolivar residents survived. the engine and cars were left on the prairie and only recently recovered to Beaumont amid cheers.
A description of historic London shop signs such as The Dog's Head In the Iron Pot The Black Dog The Dog and Duck and The White Greyhound. The Dog's Head sign dates to early Tudor times from signs on Bhick friars road near Charlotte street and St. Paul's churchyard. Also a quip about marital indecision.
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