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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Nov 24, 1899
Page
2
A mixed set of maxims and reflections appears alongside terse notes on news items. Telegraphic dispatches from Pekin report the empress dowager granting more freedom to her foster-son, and to dispel poison rumours Kuang Hsu will sit at her table. The column reflects a period editorial voice with witty adages and local notes on baseball scheduling.
A New York burglar intruded into a Chicago dressmaking shop with twenty women at work and was quickly mobbed by the defenders. The women jabbed him with hat pins until he looked like a porous plaster and turned him over to a policeman. City records show many such lone captures by women in crowded shops.
Readers recall older magazine traditions as a major monthly cuts price from 35 to 25 cents. The move mirrors changes in publishing methods and cost reductions. Modern magazines offer finer typography engravings and execution at lower costs than twenty five years ago.
Signs of progress and caution in pearl cultivation at Mediterranean shores with Signor Comba expanding oyster beds while debates on temperature limits and shipping costs shadow potential profitability. Reports also note luxury Russian spending, venues for a Christian Endeavor convention in London, variable crops in Algeria Egypt and India, and a quip on religion and horse trade enthusiasm.
The old Harrison residence northwest of the Ohio is being restored by WB S Shepard after changing hands for 2000 dollars from its former owner. Built in 1804, the property has served many roles from hotel to sheep fold and contains a tunnel to river bluffs. Its era traces to William Henry Harrison and the Tecumseh era, with relics like a dress sword preserved in Terre Haute.
A street railway manager received a note from a man who sought a complimentary pass. Despite wealth in money stocks and real estate the man craved a passbook. His relentless effort to gain the pass reflects the broader issue of privilege in city transit.
A detailed portrait of the Vincennes residence Grouseland built by William Henry Harrison, its role as official territory seat and powder magazine, and its ties to Tecumseh's 1809 conference under the elm. The piece recalls Harrison's leadership, the house’s hand crafted materials, and the dramatic encounter on the porch and in the council chamber. It recounts Tecumseh’s delegation, the standoff with militia, and the ensuing historic moment on the Wabash.
A local prominent resident examined a letter offering transport passes. The pass proved to be a common five-cent piece rather than the sought personal favor. The citizen notes that his chances for free transportation seem unlikely.
A Savannah News account describes a jet black cockatoo on a Pacific island using a steel hard bill to crack a Canary nut. The bird edges the shell with a notch, grips the nut with its claws, and uses a leaf to trap fragments while its long tongue gathers each morsel. The process shows adaptive bird structures for plant destruction.
A twenty year old Toronto incident recalls Colonel Ingersoll, famed infidel orator, delivering a Sunday lecture when a blasphemous remark provoked loud hymn singing from the gallery. The crowd joined in “Hold the Fort, for I Am Coming,” forcing Ingersoll to retreat unable to finish his speech.
Uncle Allen Sparks quips that men lie and deceive but mocks the idea that leaving a vegetarian restaurant with a toothpick shows the thinnest, baldest deception. The remark appears in a Chicago Tribune piece reflecting on honesty and manners.
The doctor tells Mrs. Blakly there is nothing serious with Frederic and suggests soap and water as treatment. Mrs. Blakly asks whether to administer it before or after meals.
A succinct aphorism warning that a man who appears unlikely to win a woman's affection may ultimately succeed, reflecting a wry male perspective on romance.
A chain of historical railway misplacements centers on a twenty eight ton steel bridge lost from a three flat car train and advertised as reward fast. a Belgian railway passenger scare ends with no accident. a London wagon reappears bearing copper. a torpedo appears twice after reward notices. Woolwich court recounts a boiler that eluded capture for years and finally fetched ten guineas for the owner.
An inventor describes a device that applies a railroad train air brake from the track as the train passes. The system connects to the train pipe vent via a lever near the locomotive front axle. When a track obstruction is encountered the lever tilts, vent opens, and brakes engage. the engineer can reset the lever from the cab.
A forest described by Dr Wel witsch lies on a tableland six miles wide and 300 to 400 feet above sea level near the west coast of Africa. The trees have trunks up to four feet thick but reach only about one foot in height, bear at most two leaves measuring six by two feet, and bloom with vivid crimson clusters of flowers.
In a Detroit Free Press excerpt a witty exchange questions kissing’s medical basis. The doctor defines a kiss as an enlargement of the heart with facial muscle contraction, illustrating the debate about affection and contagion in a humorous humorous tone.
In a brief dialogue the proprietor seeks a trustworthy man and the applicant replies that they can work together. The applicant claims a decade spent searching for someone who would trust him, reflecting themes of trust and partnership in a concise newspaper snippet.
Comic exchange from a Colorado Springs Gazette snippet referencing daduce on toes and a playful jab between Misa Quickstep and Mr. Clumsy. It hints at a recurring dance or performance gag featured in a society column. No identifiable event, date, or broader context provided.
Scientists claim music soothes nerves but the fastest cure is to strengthen the nervous system. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is recommended as the superior remedy and substitutes are discouraged. Ensure the bottle neck bears a private Revenue Stamp.
The domestic man rings a boarding house bell. Mrs. Skinner, spoon in hand, denies taking children and brands the visitor as a hired detective. She warns him against implicating her in the widespread kidnapping scare and dismisses him with a wave of the spoon.
A boastful ad argues health comes from pure blood and promotes Hood's Sarsaparilla as the cure to purify blood. It claims one in ten has pure blood and that the others should cleanse theirs to laugh first, last, and all the time.
From London Academy sketches, a brief vignette titled A Start set at a Malay Peninsula racecourse. The scene depicts a sunlit field, excited horses and men, a stubborn starter, and an Australian lightweight horseman lamenting the door he lacks, as the horse refuses to start until a door is shut.
A dialogue mocks social pretensions about neckties and class. Softhead argues only brains and refinement enable men to tie their own neckties, while Muchbrain notes wealth alone fails to impress. The piece satirizes society's preference for self-made polish over mere money.
A short humorous exchange titled A Joke by Miss New England appears in Worcester Gazelle. The joke features two girls discussing why people are not called rubberneck but peninsula with punchline about it stretching out to gee.
“Yes, it’s a fine machine,” the neighbor said while examining Mr. Ferguson’s new bicycle. Mrs. Ferguson answered the question, stating, “Five feet eleven and three-quarters,” as she looked at her husband with a dreamy air.
A line from the Cleveland Leader notes Wiggo Trembly of the Twentieth Kansas swam the Rio Grande ahead of Funston amid the Calampit fight, remarking that a man’s name does not reveal his swimming prowess.
In this Puck quip the pompous board president asks if any member wishes to offer more for the public good after approving a street car company franchise. The minority leader shouts for adjournment as the meeting ends.
The Chicago News reports a courtroom exchange where the witness Larry is asked where he was when shots rang out. He replies in a phonetic, sweeping manner claiming he neither stood by nor fled, describing his actions as moving with the wind.
A Boston Traveler quips about an ad for a famous natural mineral spring water. The piece mocks the writing and ends with a jab at addressing the manufacturers, highlighting editorial humor and advertising critique.
A playful exchange about Brown shifting from a gloomy, reticent reputation to a laughing, talkative persona. The dialogue highlights a notable change in Brown’s behavior observed recently, with brief quips by Wicks and Hicks in a Brooklyn Life style note.
A fragment from the Indianapolis Journal of Peru records a whispered remark about Wiggins. The speaker questions the meaning of a vague statement possibly about a panel, a brewery, or a laundryman. The terse exchange underscores uncertainty and rumor in local gossip.
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