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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Dec 04, 1903
Page
2
A mosaic of brief asides and quips from editorials and social notes. It mentions Mark Twain in Europe, Diaz in Mexico, Mme Rejane’s divorce, and Marconi with auroras, while poking at politics, war talk, and daily life observations across nations.
The king of Greece is named honorary admiral in the British fleet. Speculation arises about other powers bestowing high ranks. A London book collector paid 3000 dollars for Shelley and sister poems, hinting at a cheaper edition. The new Chinese minister mocks Wu in a speech. Footbinding may yield to waist compression in years. Dr. Ravenel urges allowing condemned criminals in germ culture studies.
Milly Bennet invites eight weary prospectors to Thanksgiving at their Sunrise road shack. The improvised feast includes two turkeys and pies, while Blaisedale and his crew share stories and gratitude. A late note reveals a planned robbery aborted by Milly’s “bit of money.”
Poem praising God for daily gifts and successes. The speaker thanks God for the reddened leaf and garnered sheaf, expresses gratitude for all provisions, and closes the year 1902 with worshipful thanks.
A Thanksgiving memory by Talmage recalls a cold winter night hearth scene with Father and mother and children, a porky barnyard scene, and a grand mince pie of New Jersey style. The piece contrasts old New England rumors of pumpkin pie with a sturdy memory of family, faith, and a brighter future banquet.
A king rules with kindness and decrees a national tart feast to please his people. Subjects abandon meat for tarts but grow pale and weak. After a poll, the king keeps the tart policy despite pleas for variety, urging citizens to eat the tart while budgets enforce continued tart consumption.
A excerpt from the Christian Herald quotes a devotional plea by Margaret E. Sangster praising gratitude and divine mercy. It contrasts abundance with poverty and thanks God for health and sustenance amid daily trials.
A whimsical tale of a clever old man who thinks a pumpkin holds gold. He plans to mine it, bakes a pie, and while creditors seek wealth he enjoys the pie, proclaiming that pumpkin pie is the true treasure. The story ends with all satisfied and happy.
A rural minister jokes with Willie about dinners while jokingly claiming to teach about a new light. A savage chief retorts that they already ordered arc lights from Yankee sellers. A comic mix of quick quips follows about luck at the track and a late-night kiss prompting a homey chorus.
A casual acquaintance asks Mr Nuritch about a short article in a magazine last month. He confirms the piece exists but says he does not pursue such work as a business.
Dialogue snippets reveal a humorous exchange about cooking and a husband’s odd suggestion to try it on the dog first. The Boston friend teases that the husband loves dogs, turning a domestic quip into a lighthearted jibe.
A humorous exchange about a father’s occupation. A boy explains his father is a doctor who no longer practices because he already knows how, implying mastery without ongoing work. The quip plays on the idea that expertise eliminates the need for active practice.
A mother asks Johnny about her baby sister, who has vanished for over an hour. Johnny shrugs and says she will be found when the house is swept. Eva and Tom exchange light dialogue about a photograph and boxing, hinting at a playful scene amid the domestic moment.
A humorous exchange replaces the idea of a centennial wedding anniversary with a mock claim of a hundred-year marriage. Mrs Henpeck challenges the notion, and Henpeck concedes the duration “seems that long anyhow.”
A young lawyer boasts of opening an office and recalls buying an alarm clock. A friend notes the clock will wake him early, but he quips it will only wake him when it is time to go home. The exchange captures a light office rumor and a humorous take on new beginnings.
Charley praised by Mrs Torkins as a bright man with a knack for picking the winning horse. She notes that if the horse fails to win, the fault lies elsewhere, not Charley.
A stage moment features a character insisting on a blankety blank expression while another corrects him. The exchange reveals tension as the speaker appears ready to swear, creating a comic or confrontational beat in the scene.
A drug clerk recalls a man with a $50,000 price on his head while another speaker belittles the sum and boasts of a prior million dollar claim in a broken quote.
W J Hill of Concord North Carolina testifies that Dean’s Kidney Pillar eased his kidney and back pain. He notes irregular secretions, dark color and sediment, and claims complete relief after the last dose with overall health improvement. Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo New York lists the product, price five cents per pill?
President Remsen of Johns Hopkins University recalls a recitation with James Goodwin, longtime tutor at the alma mater. Goodwin poses a math question Remsen cannot answer at first. the solution arrives just as the next student steps forward, prompting a quiet quip about being beside oneself.
John C. Sheehan staffs jobs with many laborers from diverse nationalities. A foreman asks a green Irish worker to fetch a maul and the man returns with about twenty five laborers. He explains he brought “every mother’s son” he could find as instructed.
Miss Beatrice Hereford challenged a Royal Geographical Society member at a London dinner, asking him to locate and spell Windsor Castle. The geographer admitted the tricky English pronunciation and spelling of places like Cholmondoley Crichton and Windsor Castle.
The Syracuse Post-Standard lauds Mr. Howell for genuine Americanism and universal appeal. It credits his focus on contemporary American life from Broadway to Iowa and Central New York, and his faith in American ideals.
A California nurse details a decline in health and energy before trying Grape-Nuts. She reports rapid relief after one package, returning to work within six months with improved strength and mental clarity, and she now recommends the cereal to patients.
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