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Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Nov 28, 1903
Page
4
The Denton Journal issue dated Saturday Morning November 28 1903 lists publishers Howard Melvine A Jomison Melvin and Johnson and presents the newspaper header for a historic Texas publication.
A theater agent recalls a Broadway hopeful who claimed fame as the apothecary in Romeo and Juliet. He staged a fit on cue for an encore, feigning poison sales while Romeo concealed a purse, then earned applause and a floral gift. A Philadelphia Telegraph note adds a grammar anecdote from a grocery, where a clerks’ correction of “lettuce fresh” sparks a protest.
A German speaks in rough tones describing a human life as a dog while outlining a daily routine. He contrasts canine ease with human labor including waking, tending the bed, locking up, waking the baby, walking, and preparing breakfast before work and trouble.
At a Yale commencement dinner, President Frimothy Dwight recalls Hon. William M. Evarts delivering a single sentence after the presiding officer introduced speakers. Evarts quipped that it would be a life sentence, highlighting his famed length of public addresses.
A comic quarrel erupts as Farmer Bentover derides a hired man while a mock meteor claim about the day length sparks an argument. The piece blends rustic gruff with a tongue in cheek astronomy gag, reflecting rural humor.
Inter Ocean reports on how proper falling techniques reduce injury. A gym director notes that relaxed muscles and folding the head protect the neck and back during a fall. He contrasts this with the common rigid impact that causes sprains or broken limbs.
An English election agent notes that men in small posts wield disproportionate influence, with votes worth much to a party. In northern towns, a bricklayer is said to command at least a hundred votes, illustrating how local figures sway broader political support.
A man recalls a hot night when he opened a door expecting a hall breeze but instead found it opened into a plaget. He believes imagination proved powerful after discovering the doorway led to an unexpected space rather than the intended air circulation.
A jeweler tells a customer there is no flaw in a turquoise but it is sick and can be cured with a two week treatment. A reporter notes that all jewels except diamonds can suffer ailments and explains that precious stones are affected by surroundings with acids as a general cure. Pearls age early and lose value in reflections of color.
A Rochester Post-Expressa reader reports a bookstore encounter where a woman seeks visiting cards bearing the name Mrs. Pocahontas Avenue. The clerk asks for spelling and the woman cites Pocahontas as a biblical heroine, chiding the clerk for biblical knowledge.
A humorous exchange shows Mrs Newed demanding a pound of cheese from a grocer. She notes the cheese is full of holes and refuses to pay for a product with a half pound of holes. The grocer concedes, underscoring a comic misunderstanding.
An American commercial traveler recounts entering a private commercial room in an English inn. The president explains the room is private and welcomes the stranger after some brief embarrassment. Soup arrives promptly. seating follows long-standing customs among staying guests. The tale appears in World’s Work.
A young man pleads for marriage but the fair examiner of the square chin refuses. She says the man must be brave and fearless. She reveals his cowardice in not confronting a burglar during the raid. Music plays as the curtain falls on the farewell scene.
The London Chronicle notes a gallant omnibus driver who calmed a hat-waving mishap on a gale struck ride. A young man leaped down to chase the hat as the horse halted and the owner blushed. The driver reassured her there is no need to worry. The hat was recovered from under a cab amid passenger approval.
A humorous Character vignette notes Virginia Rosamond Josephine, a fellow described as a pretty colored maid from the south, owning a rhinestone belt buckle her mistress brought from Paris. When asked if the stones are real diamonds, Gin replies they are not, calling them grindstones from paradise.
A young woman laments helping Johnny with his mental arithmetic each evening calling it a nuisance. A young man teases with a famous one plus one equals one riddle, and she retorts that she meant mental arithmetic not sentiment.
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