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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Mar 19, 1904
Page
4
A writer explores the origin of a Lamb anecdote and follows it to an earlier tale about a traveler loss on a rainy day. The chain of twistings reveals how one joke story morphs from an older incident involving a black rug and a black mackintosh with red MacGregors as a clue.
Lincoln explains a measured approach to ending the war after calling for volunteers. He shares a boyhood horse story to illustrate that some problems are best eased into submission rather than jerked abruptly. The idea is to let events run long enough to understand them before acting.
A Marine Journal explanation notes water is heaviest at 40 degrees, eight degrees above freezing. As surface water cools to ten degrees it sinks, cooling the pond as a whole to forty degrees before ice forms. Ice, a poor heat conductor, insulates the warm water beneath, so thicker ice acts like a greatcoat, limiting freezing even in the Arctic Ocean.
A fair girl weighs many suitors while awaiting true affection. Hearing a rich uncle of one wooer died, she accepts the one with the inherited land and they marry the next June. Moral is that titles attract even in America.
A British Columbia correspondent recounts a flood myth shared by northern coast tribes. Mesmes-sit-la-nik creates land, ties a walrus-hide cord to the moon, but Decune severs it, flooding the earth except a man and wife in a canoe who survive atop a mountain and later replant the world after the cord is repaired.
Mr. Pinchpenny boards at Fourth Street pays his fare, the conductor busy and misses the nickel. At Seventh Street Pinchpenny claims he already paid half a mile back. Mrs. Pinchpenny defends him as an injured citizen. The conductor recalls the scene with a grin.
A wife challenges Mr Billus after discovering a long brown hair on his coat collar. He boasts he dared to ignore it, claiming a coworker bet his wife would notice. She confronts him, and he admits the wager ended with him losing a dollar over the hair.
A simple method to estimate a river's breadth without tools. The observer stands at the edge, faces the far bank, lowers the hat brim to touch the opposite bank, then pivots to align the brim with a point on the ground behind. Mark the spot and pace the distance to find the river's width.
The passage lists folk maxims about trimming fingernails on each day of the week. Monday brings health, Tuesday wealth, Wednesday a letter, Thursday something better, Sunday a wife or evil, and Saturday long life, with a warning that Sunday cuts bring evil and rule by the devil for the week.
In Russia a ten year old child cannot leave home for school without a passport, and common servants and peasants need one to move from their residence. Moscow or St. Petersburg residents cannot receive long visits without police notice. Porters must report arrivals and departures, and a passport fee is charged for each.
An indoor snowstorm occurred at a Stockholm party on a cold clear evening. The room grew unbearably warm, window sashes froze, a pane shattered, and a cold draft brought in snowflakes that settled across fl oor and occupant. The moisture caused a premature indoor snowfall as the temperature dropped.
An aged tale from Crosse recounts a Hungarian robber chief who, after dining with Countess Z, declared he would depart as a gentleman. He warned his men to abstain from theft, leaving the lady with a written token to protect her future. The chief, once noble in demeanor, was later captured and executed.
Geologists say immense icefields moved from the north over much of the United States and Europe over thousands of years. The White Mountains bear boulders carried hundreds of miles, and glaciers helped shape the hills and valleys of New York, Pennsylvania, and New England. The marks and ground surfaces from these glaciers remain visible in many places, linking large glacial boulders to their northern sources.
A remark from the Autocrat of the Breakfast Table is cited by a man shortly before Dr Holmes death. The women discuss aging and one says she envies the other for bearing years lightly. The Autocrat replies he has five years more practice.
At nine, ten, and eleven A.M. Jones stood at successive points in a ticket office line. He discovers he has waited in the wrong line when he reaches point A. The scene implies a humorous or frustrated realization about mistaken queue placement.
A boy attends a domestic comedy with his parents. After a dispute on stage, the boy remarks at home that the quarrel was heard by many, noting that when he and his father quarrel they shut doors and windows to hide it.
A Brooklyn law firm refused to honor a small bill of 20 dollars, prompting a local business to mail a typewritten note offering to pass along uncollected accounts. The lawyer’s office replied with a sales pitch for collections. The business sent back its own bill, and the amount was paid promptly.
A New York Times clipping recalls a cuckoo clock that should toll only hours but occasionally added performances. Marjorie alerts her father when her baby brother hiccups, believing the clock is striking endlessly and regurgitating the time. The tale blends humor with domestic life.
Orlando Vance Jones, a frequent verse contributor and advertiser in the Daily Trumpet of Stonbury Center, took offense when a published poem titled A Pigmy Counterpart appeared with his name and a slight misprint headline, following the birth of his grandson. The incident involves a prominent town citizen and the newspaper proprietor.
A quarrel arises when a man defends a Briggins family by misreading a compliment about their hairless baby. Wyell protests that his remark insulted Briggins and his wife, prompting an awkward exchange over perceived insults and intentions.
A Chicago Post remark on a young woman's hesitation after a bachelor suitor proposes. The girl frets over choosing a wealthy man with good habits versus a man with bad habits, noting that bad behavior would shorten life. The brief exchange highlights social expectations and romance dilemmas.
A Detroit Free Press quip jokes about forcing confession with a club. The speaker notes the trouble of changing minds as soon as pressure stops. A humorous take on stubborn arguments and stubborn beliefs.
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