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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Aug 06, 1910
Page
4
A late night encounter features a very drunk man who asks a passerby to search his pockets. Only a pipe, tobacco, and cloves are found. He explains his motive is to avoid his wife discovering the missing 40 dollars, promising the man detectives would be sent after him if he lied. He ends with a cordial good night.
The piece urges cheerful speech and kind responses, arguing that gentle words curb unruly tongues. It celebrates sunny thoughts and honeyed tones as cheaper, steadier guidance for everyday conversation and social conduct.
A humorous skit unfolds as a silent barber cuts hair while a boastful man insistently demands no talk. The customer then discovers the barber’s trade hinges on conversation, until the glazier from next door appears, prompting comic realization.
The handwriting of Llorace Greeley inspired awe for its illegibility. The compositor claimed Belshazzar would fear a wall inscription if he saw Greeley’s writing. A sample invitation note purportedly reads I decline any invitation that takes me a day's journey from home. Other fragments mention crooked phrases about celery and brick ovens.
An Authors' club dinner in London features Walter Emanuel recalling an English dentist whose joke about a "wrong tooth" proves a sharp humor. A country move inspires a woman to start poultry farming with a hen and thirteen eggs, but lack of poultry knowledge leads to a misjudged hatch timetable and a comical line about ducks.
An Irish hostess arranged a meeting between Mr. Lecky and a self confident Irishman to discuss politics. Lecky launched a continuous political harangue that left the guest unable to interrupt. The host and guest left in laughter as the historian kept talking onto the stair and out the door.
A neighbor named a pet owl Judge Longworth to honor the Ohio supreme judge once on the bench. The next day an excited maid disrupted his wife’s garden party and announced the owl had laid an egg, fueling the curious mood of the moment.
J Comyns Carr recalls a humorous incident involving Dante Gabriel Rossetti Burne Jones and William Morris. Morris feared gaining weight and, after Burne Jones sewed a waistcoat section into a single piece, Morris struggled to fasten it until the painter’s quiet laughter broke the tension.
A compact reflection on fear and strength as the reader is urged to endure and grow. The excerpt invites personal contemplation, urging steadfastness as hopes fade and inner calm rises through adversity.
A New York editor recalls a persistence tale about a race at Sheepshead Bay. After a key finish a young man yelled for spectators to remove their hats, then told an elderly gentleman to replace them. The man explained he had bet fifty with a bald man and needed to locate him.
Two New Yorkers seek a fresh start at a spring clinic but balk at the diet, misunderstanding the doctor’s list. A club tale follows, boasting of a dwarf in central Africa whose every step caused corn pain and a sudden headache.
In an Aberdeen shire coast town a minister preached a sermon that a local skipper had read aloud at home from a London purchased volume. The skipper and two brothers compared the sermon to their copy in church, accusing the minister of copying. The minister admitted he followed the book, noting they erased two pages and could not catch him.
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