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This newspaper page contains 9 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Aug 05, 1911
Page
3
Chauncey M. Depew, at a New York dinner in his honor, recalls praise for his after dinner speaking and a farmer’s quip about lockjaw. An elderly couple observes a stranger fall, the husband rushing to help while the wife scowls, recalling a past tumble and circus joke.
In New England during a dinner visit, Edmund Clarence Stedman recalls a moment of temptation to imitate Charles Lamb. He rose and remembered a grace. A guest asks what he was tempted to do, Lamb’s joke about noting the absence of a clergyman. Lamb then prays for mercy and gratitude.
Former Congressman Amos J. Cummings and companion Captain Howard F. Kennedy hiked to a farmhouse during a hunting trip. The open door found no residents, but a large bulldog at the stairs snarled as Kennedy started upward prompting Cummings to warn him with a humorous quip about the dog’s bite.
Sir George Reid, high commissioner for Australia, is described as brusque and burly in a tale from political debates. An opponent challenged him with a sharp remark but another legislator quipped that “the fat will be in the fire,” provoking laughter from all parties.
Booth Tarkington spoke in Indianapolis about an early stage play where two actresses strove for prominence. The leading star boasted of her status, and her rival quipped that she would look better if she were no little meteor, a witty insult about the leading actress’s slender figure.
A Pullman porter complains about an actor and his wife after a train trip to New York. The actor asks if the porter has seen his baggage. The porter replies with a quip about his wife back in the washroom fixing her makeup.
Champ Clark joined the Campbellite church early, was expelled for dancing after a river cruise on the Mamle with the War Eagle, then unexpectedly returned and repented at the mourners bench. Church leaders faced a dilemma but readmitted him, and he remained a member thereafter.
A family discusses a horse driven by an automobile. Mary quips that even horses fear cars, and asks if people would fear pants without a man inside. The playful dialogue ends with a humorous line about insecurities.
A humorous slice recalls Harvard students riding a taxicab all night and into morning, evading payment. The manager confirms the party and nonpayment, ending with the operator's disappointed cutoff call.
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