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Newspaper
Defiance Weekly Express
Location
Defiance, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Oct 29, 1903
Page
3
A Confederate veteran recalls helping a smuggler load a yawl with clothing and food for starving comrades near Helena Arkansas. Soldiers arrested them, but the plan to escape was executed at three in the morning, with the sailor risking his life to deliver supplies for the Confederate cause. The narrator claims the motive was to aid distressed soldiers, not harm the merchant.
John C. White recounts his Chickamauga experience as a 13 year old musician who served 20 years in the Regular Army. He describes marching under rain, ambush near Jay's Mill, heavy casualties, Major Coolidge killed, and a forehead wound from a spent bullet as the battle wore on for September 20.
United Service Review argues most horse losses come from poor recuperation facilities not enemy fire. It notes a cavalry bureau established in 1863 to rehabilitate worn-out mounts, turning many back into service. The piece cites 188,718 horses purchased in 1864, with 40,000 needed for two removants for the Army of the Potomac in eight months.
Gen Shermans guest at a banquet and reception recognizes a familiar face. He learns the man is Maj Schurtz, who once made shirts for him. Griffith notes this anecdote in Lippincott's story collection.
In a brief quip from the New York Herald a dialogue notes that moths eat holes, echoing the notion that no creature survives on emptiness.
After the Spanish American War, Gen Fitzhugh Lee visits neighbors. An old veteran recalls their past service and jokes about dying before him to hear Jubal Early’s reaction at the golden gate, in a half jocular, half poignant moment.
A brief wartime quip ridicules pension demands. Patrick jokes that he weighed more after service due to being loaded with lead, reflecting postwar humor in Philadelphia.
A fragment from the New York Herald notes a baby walking at eight months, with Mr Crustybatch commenting on the effort. The brief quotes convey a light domestic moment.
Arnolawhite the distinguished English writer and traveler declares the Zionist colony in British East Africa is foredoomed to failure. The article reports his assessment and the context of colonial settlement.
Arnold White argues against forming a Jewish state in Uganda citing distance to sea, lack of export markets, and high transport costs. He notes Russia and American Jewish leaders oppose the project, while Lord Lansdowne’s proposal prompts expert analysis of feasibility.
A married man recounts a sharp exchange about how a husband plans to run a home. He proposes controlling meals and housework himself and using emotional manipulation to keep his wife content and dependent. He also explains a plan to ensure punctuality by delaying his wife before theater trips.
The Gardner Chronicle recounts a Sunday evening incident where a young man visiting a girl West of town kissed her after hours of talk. The girl threatened to tell her father prompting a chase that ends with him fleeing, four windows broken, and escaping bareheaded toward town.
In Brooklyn Life a playful quip notes where he practiced to become an end tackle. The line contrasts a local character nicknamed Knicker with Bocker as an end hog on street cars.
The Dead Letter Office reports a record year ending June 1 1903 with total receipts just over 10 million pieces, up 850 thousand from the prior year. Opened items totaled 8,895,205 with money found 48 634 and commercial paper valued at 1 493 563.
Maud recalls borrowing Jack’s knife to sharpen a pencil and discovering he had been cutting tobacco with it. Irene retorts that the habit shows he does not bite the tobacco with his teeth.
A club recounts a pumpkin custard recipe praised for its texture. The method features cooking pumpkin slowly, drying moisture, then mixing three cups pumpkin with sugar two eggs milk spices and a pinch of salt before baking until set.
A provincial town tale from London Tit-Bits recounts a witty youth who taunts a merchant by saying he cannot find what he wants. The shopkeeper provokes him, calls for wrapping paper, and the prank ends as the clever customer disappears in a rush, outsmarted.
Combine two cups cold boiled rice with a tablespoon melted butter and beat. Beat yolks of two eggs with one cup milk a tablespoon sugar a level teaspoon salt then fold in rice and butter. Stir in two cups flour sifted with two level teaspoons baking powder fold in stiffly beaten egg whites. Bake in greased muffin pans two thirds full.
A New York Tribune recipe guides frying one fourth pound bacon in a pan until light brown then sauté a finely chopped onion in the fat. Add vinegar, salt, cayenne, and hot stock, boil potatoes in skins, peel and slice them into the pan to soak up the liquid. Toss with the diced bacon and serve.
The Cincinnati Gazette argues for ready access to essentials on each floor to reduce housework strain. A reliable clock, calendar, brush broom, broom and dustpan or carpet sweeper, and ample dust cloths are among items to stay within easy reach, eliminating needless trips up and down stairs.
In a lighthearted quip from the Chicago Daily News a friend jokes about a man marrying his own daughter, sparking a humorous family misunderstanding. The gag echoes era humor about social missteps and domestic life.
Editorial from the Philadelphia Press critiques broad negative judgments and urges restraint in labeling individuals as liars. The piece argues focusing on a single accused person may mislead and calls for caution in public accusations.
A countryman strolling the street is halted by a wood barricade. He learns it is to stop fever spread, and quips that he has heard of the board of health but never seen it, in a Tit-Bits style joke.
A Washington Star note laments failed schemes and fragile hopes that rise and fall as flying machines that won’t fly symbolize misplaced ambition and broken optimism.
A playful column notes a husband who abstains from drinking and other bad habits but is humorously urged to quit his fondness for cloves. The item captures a light social mood from the Boston Globe style.
A fragment from the Philadelphia Press shows a dialogue about a love affair in progress with remarks on hope and doubt. The snippet hints at social sentiment and casual communication rather than a full narrative.
A merchant questions a young man about a candidate for a clerkship. The reply notes the man has a punctual character in the evening from six oclock to the second, but cannot claim the same punctuality in the morning.
The piece notes a writer who delivers humorous after-dinner talks but struggles with childcare. The more he strives to be funny the louder the baby becomes, dispelling his composure and humor.
A light quip from the New York Times notes that heavy breakfasts are out of style and suggests fried potatoes may be less fashionable for morning meals. The exchange ridicules culinary trends with a humorous edge.
The item presents a joked exchange from the N Y Weekly about a traveler captured by savages and sentenced to marry a squaw. The traveler notes mercy as they did not demand a fashionable wedding, while the hostess condemns the ordeal as horrible.
In Washington Star style dialogue Senator Sorghum defends money use in politics saying he may be tricky but not stingy, while another voice questions if he regrets past influence tactics. The brief exchange frames concerns over campaign spending and integrity.
In a dialogue from a New York Weekly item Mrs Lakeside condemns Canada as a place of misery. She cites a claim that in twenty years the courts there granted only 116 divorces, prompting Mr L to ask how that reflects on the country.
A Yonkers Statesman poem notes a fisherman who rested in this place and is now buried. The verse mentions his freckled face and his departure from earthly life, ending with a reflective farewell.
A witty observation from the Chicago Tribune contrasts moles with mountains and mocks faith healing. The quip centers on a nurse or speaker recalling a woman with a mole on her nose and doubting cures offered by a faith healer.
A witty exchange between a young man and woman about mental arithmetic and a famed problem. The woman quips that it should be mental arithmetic not sentimental, adding humor to a domestic moment as quoted in Tit-Bits.
A husband loses patience asking for money while his wife, excited, says she cannot think of a better way. The exchange highlights financial strain and marital tension.
Bragg boasts after a first post-prandial speech, claiming nothing like the oratory has happened for years. He jokes it outdoes Balaam and asserts he never spoke so well before.
A long-haired passenger warns against gambling and a prosperous traveler recalls a single bet that paid off by winning a wife worth half a million in the matrimonial game. The exchange reveals a sharp, wry tone about luck and marriage profits.
A Chicago Post quip captures a father promising his son “sensations” of a civic parade by placing him near a cider press, delivering a humorous vignette about local celebration and the eagerness to partake in public festivities.
A Chicago American note quotes a stern rebuke to Bridget describing her laziness as the reason she has not broken dishes and declining to provide a recommendation.
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