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Newspaper
Defiance Weekly Express
Location
Defiance, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Jun 11, 1903
Page
3
A Washington Star reader shares a rustic tale of Ezzy Jones who seems industrious with sports and lifting but fails to do farm chores. The piece contrasts his apparent energy with inaction at home, noting many busy neighbors yet little tangible work accomplished.
The Helen Carmody sails toward Vera Cruz after rescuers locate Mr. Carmody and companions. Col. McIntyre contracts a pilot, Miss Carmody and Chalmers lead efforts, and the reunion is celebrated aboard with Mr. Carmody embracing his daughter and thanking supporters including Seymour Stevens and Col. McIntyre.
A new boarder scans the dining table asking for prunes then accepts stewed gooseberries due to cost. The landlady notes prunes are expensive not forbidden. A doctor offers a drastic insomnia cure: wear a policeman's uniform.
A witty exchange about life after death. George questions proof of a hereafter while Madge asserts belief, joking that there is one man in the moon and she is bound for that one.
A lovelorn youth recalls receiving a marble heart from a beloved while a friend quips the gesture could be worse. The exchange ends with the consoling line that she could have married him and made him eat her marble cake.
A humorous exchange from Stray Stories notes a husband praising his wife as affectionate while Singleton counters with a jab about her nightly greetings. The quip plays on differing views of devotion and suspicion in marriage.
A Baltimore Herald quip notes man's inconsistent desires for weather, craving cool when hot and heat when cold, always wanting what he does not have and never satisfied with his current lot.
The Chicago Chronicle jokes that Fred Thorne cannot marry Edith because his bachelor apartments have a three year lease and the landlord forbids women in the building. The quip frames a comic obstacle to marriage.
A brief verse from the Washington Star proclaims disdain for fame while valuing the trump that wins in life, emphasizing practical success over public glory. The quatrain underscores a worldly, results driven perspective in a concise literary note.
A strawberry blonde remarks that dyeing hair injures the brain while a hardened bachelor counters that others say hair dye makes people brainless. The exchange captures salon gossip quoted by the Chicago Daily News.
A contractor boasts of securing the street cleaning contract by offering the lowest bid. His wife questions the risk, and he remains confident that losses are not possible, noting fashion trends of flounces.
A concise verse recalls a woman who spent a third of her life reading novels with gallant heroes and refined manners, then married a man who eats with his knife, contrasting literary devotion with domestic life.
A fragment from the Chicago American quotes locals describing a man who never court his wife after being jilted in youth, highlighting themes of heartbreak and lingering insecurity.
A Philadelphia Press line asserts the certainty that truth eventually surfaces, even when men try to hide or deny it. The phrase is echoed as a moral reminder that honesty prevails in the end.
A satirical jab marks a mock divorce colony in South Dakota with banter about grounds and a wife’s cluttered house. The quip plays on marital splits and living arrangements, reflecting humorous newspaper wit.
A short editorial voice urges optimism and resilience amid hardship, reminding readers that tomorrow can bring change and that discouragement should be avoided. The piece frames adversity as temporary and emphasizes persevering through current fates.
A playful exchange notes a letter to Jack with “a thousand kisses” as Mabel questions the value while the other party insists the missive has no worth. The Chicago News tone captures flirtatious banter over mail sent.
A speaker who once condemned a trust as wicked now declares belief that stock ownership proves all is for the best. The verse contrasts a former stance with a later shift toward optimism and corporate interest. The speaker cites personal gain as a catalyst.
A dialog from Tit Bits about Miss Mainchance and her engagement to Mr Jenks. She originally refused for ten thousand but later learned his fortune was fifty thousand. The friend is surprised by the change in fortune influencing the engagement.
A playful exchange at the breakfast table features a husband doubting a personal devil and a wife confidently replying that she believes in him. The man notes he is ten minutes late as he prepares to leave.
A Yonkers Statesman snippet jokes about marital guidelines and broom handling. Mrs. Crimsonbeak argues a girl must learn to sweep before marriage while Mr. Crimsonbeak laments too many husbands with odd bumps on their heads.
A brief line from the Cincinnati Enquirer describes Mary Ann Jones sitting with her beau for hours as he threatened to leave. She clutched his sleeve and cried Eau neau, expressing distress at the parting.
The narrator criticizes Jonah as a blamed figure when the team falters, calling him a hard luck excuse for poor performance. The piece portrays fan or media scapegoating as a recurring pattern in sports.
A New York Weekly gag imagines a fortune of 35 million dollars buying a ton of diamonds. Dora imagines blissful wealth while Clara agrees, noting the figures from a book on facts and figures.
A Chicago Post quip contrasts a man's ideal before marriage as the woman he will wed with his post marriage reality of another woman he did not marry. The remark highlights shifting perceptions of romantic outcomes after commitment.
Four year old Maggie asks the origin of skye-terriers and five year old Bobby jokes they come from the sky when it rains cats and dogs, in a light Boston Globe exchange.
A Cincinnati Enquirer quip jokes that nine of ten women have a mission and the tenth would marry if asked, framing marriage as a common life goal with humorous bite.
A witty exchange between actor and manager shows the actor seeking new approach to his role while the manager offers to reduce pay to relieve pressure. The exchange reflects backstage tensions and practical humor in theatrical life.
Dr. Charles Stedman Bull reports a machinery blast injury where a steel fragment pierced the cornea iris and lens and entered the vitreous. A Haab magnet extracted a three and a half millimeter piece from the eye at close range, causing vitreous hemorrhage but restoring about two thirds vision after ten days of treatment.
A German inventor proposes an automatic mast tilt system to relieve sail load during strong winds. The mast sits in a central socket with braced ropes wound on a drum. as the boat tilts, a weighted arm releases the drum ratchet, letting rope unwind to ease the mast, then rewinding restores the mast once wind subsides.
A Cleveland inventor proposes a streetcar warning system with a trumpet under the platform and a gong inside the car. The motor man rings the gong to project the sound forward through a speaking tube, reducing street noise. If the gong is ignored, the tube offers an additional warning.
The cannibal tree, an Australian giant reaching about 11 feet, features long beardlike leaves that hang to the ground. Natives worshiped it as the devil tree with a ritual where leaves trap a victim, claimed to devour flesh, lending the name cannibal tree.
J M Petersime describes a homemade outdoor cellar built after moving a wall to create an eight by fourteen foot clear space with a brick crown arch. The cemented, water-sealed cave prevents frost and stores up to 300 bushels of potatoes, detailing costs and construction steps for farm storage.
Artificial air advances in submarine navigation may allow divers to stay submerged longer. French scientist George F. Jaubert developed oxy lithe a solid peroxide that decomposes with water to emit oxygen. A few ounces can support about an hour underwater with apparatus recapturing carbonic oxide and renewing oxygen.
To make a cheap and excellent furniture polish, dissolve white wax and Castile soap in water on the stove, melt beeswax in turpentine, then mix the cooled liquids. The result yields a ready to use polish with a simple, practical method.
Mineral wool is produced from furnace slag by blowing air through molten slag. It is used to pack around boilers furnaces and pipes to retain heat deaden walls and keep out cold.
Cress proves the quickest growing plant, flowering and seeding within eight days under ideal conditions. This rapid cycle highlights its usefulness for fast harvests and educational demonstrations in botany.
Mr Mangasarian predicts the future woman will be more creative and inquisitive and less passive. The Chicago Record Herald notes married men may pity such a future man if the prediction holds true.
The range in weight for jewels in watches extends from one one hundred fifty thousandth to one two hundred fifty six thousandth of a pound.
The Farm and Fireside notes the lime sulphur salt wash as the leading remedy for the San Jose scale. It cites an Ohio state recommendation of 15 pounds each unslaked lime ground sulphur and salt per 50 gallons of water, best steam prepared. It warns the wash is corrosive and requires protection for workers, including gloves rubber coats and caps, with a cautious businesslike approach.
Instructions from G. H. Sammis ep itomist on dairy hygiene emphasize clean stable, fresh air, gradual feeding changes, and nail trimming for milking staff. Key practices include avoiding dusty feed, light air exchange, whitewashing yearly, daily manure gutter plaster, and using cloth nets to keep insects out.
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