Coatsville Herald Satirical Snippets Parade Oddities
A jumble of lighthearted items mocks schools films dressmakers and fashion trends. A New York man is declared insane for bridge and a Wellesley girl expelled for marrying. A couple wed in an auto at 60 mph while aviation costumes and poets union news headline curiosities.
Oddball reflections mix satire on progress and policy
A patchwork column notes Kansas City banning fireworks and suggests July recommendations to buy Christmas gifts early. It cites aviators crossing the Delaware, a $3,000,000 Atlanta penitentiary, Europe craving American slang, and ponderings on fate, cabbage crops, and a Virginia juror. It mentions Panama canal gates, rag dolls, a misnamed man, and San Francisco’s large suburbs, ending with comments on English attitudes to American money.
The Kingdom Divided Lesson Summary
A 1911 Sunday School lesson on Rehoboam and Jeroboam, detailing Solomon's death leading to Israel's split at Schechem. It contrasts Rehoboam's rash decisions, Egypt's invasion by Shishak, and the moral of choosing wise counsel over pride, urging personal character formation aligned with divine guidance.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Solomon
B. C
Rehoboam
Jerusalem
Rhechem
Ephraim
Mages Ebal
Gerizim
Abraham
Jacob
Joseph
Joshua
Jacob’s Well
Sychar
Jesus
The
Samaritans
Naamah
Ammon
Jordan
Judah
Saul
David
Shechem
Egypt
Jeroboam
Israel
Josephus
Shishak
God
Karnak
Shematiah
Bechass
One From the Cashier
A consumer chats with a new cashier at a cigar counter as he pays his dinner bill. She retorts that money is not meant to be hoarded, joking that coins would still need candles if so.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Atlanta
Bavarian Passenger Passes With Hidden Wealth
Charles H. Rosenberg from Bavaria arrived on the Kaiserin Auguste Victoria with numerous lumps on his body. Immigration doctors misread them as medical, but he revealed the lumps contained money totaling $11,600. He planned to buy an Oregon apple orchard and was admitted to the United States.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Charles H. Rosenberg
Bavaria
Hamburg
Oregon
Rosenberg
Mr. Rosenberg
New York Tribune
Why He Laughed in Miss Mattie's Guest Room
A tale from the old south describes Miss Mattie hosting a distinguished guest. She sends Tillie the maid with water and a bath offer, and the guest, Mr. Firman, bursts into laughter at the bold, humorous message.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Miss Mattie
Tillie
Where He Was Queer in Mack's National Monthly
A humor piece notes a black tradesman named Ale Hall as a skilled whitewasher yet oddly hesitant about whitewashing a chicken house. The dialogue highlights language and social nuance in a humorous rural town setting.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jacob
Mack's National Monthly
Growing Old Turns Bright with Hidden Joys
Poem speaks of choosing contentment and optimism despite misfortune. It notes constant springs of happiness in human hearts and the sunny gleams the years reveal as age progresses. The limelight grows warmer as one grows older.
Unclear excerpt hints at dialogue about a board member
Fragmentary dialogue mentions Bogug and a potential real thing with no amounts paid or clear context. The text provides no identifiable events, dates, or institutions to anchor a full summary.
Fragmentary Finance Exchange in Local Paper
Readable lines show a short, informal money exchange with requests for aid and mentions of savings totaling 2,190 dollars over twenty years. The passage is incomplete and lacks clear participants or a formal event.
Vaudeville Crowd Praises Self Made Negro Remark
The scene at a vaudeville show features a black-face comedian receiving boisterous applause while Uncle Hiram notes the growing prominence of the colored race. A city man observes the performer as a self made negro, reflecting on rising visibility.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Uncle Hiram
Lo the Rich Indian and His Wealth in Indian Lands
The Red Man reports that per capita wealth of Native Americans runs about 2150 dollars while white Americans average just over 1800. Indian lands boast oil timber and diverse resources. They own vast agricultural and range lands supporting hundreds of thousands of livestock and yielding substantial tribal revenue.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
United States
Red Man
No Slang for Her in the Lunchroom Exchange
A chummy diner scene unfolds as a waiter and a young man exchange slang on egg orders. The man uses playful phrases like a brace of cackies and sunnysiders, while the waitress corrects him and notes the shift to plain English in restaurants.
The League of Politeness Forms in Berlin
The League of Politeness has been formed in Berlin to promote better manners. Founded by Fraulein Cecelle Meyer, inspired by a Rome organization, it adopts the motto Pro gentilezza and will award a talisman medal to deter discourteous language. Any polite person may join.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
League of Politeness
Berlin
Fraulein Cecelle Meyer
Rome
Country Churchyard Interments Banned in Local Churchyard
In the Gazette the council issues an order forbidding ordinary interments in the churchyard at St. Giles Stoke Pages Buckinghamshire, known as the rural rest place of Gray’s Elegy. The ruling designates the churchyard as closed to common burials.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gray
St. Giles
Stoke Pages
Buckinghamshire
the Gazette
How She Learned
A mother discusses her three children, noting the baby Edith is the sharpest. John, the oldest, says he knows why Edith learns fast saying it is because she has them and they didn’t have us.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John
Tom
Edith
Georgia Governor Candler Known for Humorous Resolve
A Georgia figure, former Governor Allen D. Candler, was famed for a quaint joke about quitting cigars. A Guineaville man recalls Candler switching to a pipe at year's start and sticking to it, joking he saved $208 by the change, yet wonders where the money is now.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Allen D. Candler
Georgia
South
Candler
Ramadan Traditions Described by Moslems and Christian Herald
The Christian Herald recounts Moslem Ramadan as the holy month when the Koran was revealed to men by Gabriel in sections. It notes Prophet Mohammed’s retreat to the cave of Hira for prayer and meditation as well as revelations to Abraham and Moses.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gabriel
Mohammed
Mecca
Hira
Abraham
Moses
Heaven
Hell
Christian Herald
A Medical Compromise
A patient describes two doctors in consultation last night. One advised one option while the other suggested a different approach. Rather than choose, they ultimately advised mixing the two treatments.
Hard on the Mare in Cumberland Gap Bus Incident
A Cumberland Gap bus climbs a steep hill as rear door bursts open repeatedly. Passengers tease the horse attached to the vehicle, with the driver warning to keep quiet so the mare does not overhear the disturbance. The anecdote portrays rustic humor and rural storytelling from Success Magazine.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cumberland Gap
Bernhardt Declares Youthful Secret in New York
The aging actress Sara Bernhardt jokes that her youth comes from hard work and divine aid and laments compliments as exaggeration. A bustling boulevard scene and a nurse anecdote about an automobile accident illustrate public fascination with danger and crowds.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Sara Bernhardt
Mme. Bernhardt
Lke
Retraction Dialogue Overtones From a Heated Exchange
A conciliatory man cautions against name calling while a vindictive respondent defends his words. The exchange centers on a remark about a man being worth 40 cents a pound, prompting reconsideration of insult and value.
Were you nervous when you proposed to your wife
A humorous exchange quotes Mr. Meekton on marriage as a sentimental observer asks about proposal nerves. He replies that he was not nervous but would have feared the next decade if he could foresee it.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bliasful
Mr. Meekton
Economy In Art and a Father’s View on Education
In a dialogue, Mr. Sirius Barker argues for his daughter to study singing over art or literature. He claims art spoils canvas and paint and literature wastes paper, while singing only causes a temporary disturbance of the atmosphere.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sirius Barker
Frightful Earthquake Wakeup Recounts By Bossims
Mrs Bossim asks about the first thought after the hotel alarm as Mr Bossim recalls the quake moment. He describes a vase striking his ear a chair spinning toward him and four or five books and a framed picture hitting him. The exchange ends with her lingering anger.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mack's
National Monthly
New Process for Staining Glass Captivates Art World
A new method colors glass by mineral pigments fused under intense heat to create a pebbled surface that softens light. The process brands each window pane separately molded and bent, then assembled in a metal frame for multi shade displays.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Phoeniciana
Our Voices and the Soprano on the Train
A narrator discusses conversations on a train from an industrial center. He notes young women in bright attire choosing doubles and sharing daguerreotypes while eating apples. He contrasts sweet voices with less musical ones and urges truthfulness in friendship.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
St. Anthony
Hes
Holmes
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Uncle Sam Nicely
England
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Nature
Success Magazine
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Cage Stign
Toad
Postum Cereal Co., Ltd
Battle Creek, Mich