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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Jul 09, 1913
Page
6
A christening scene features a proud father and skeptical grandfather. The priest asks for the baby's name, the grandfather panics and mutters. the father reveals Hazel, provoking a joke about saints names and a nut. The tale satirizes naming trends.
A humorous exchange reveals a judge was pressured by an overbearing life insurance agent to join the company. The judge recalls the agent’s persistence lasted six weeks, nearly suffocating his resolve before he finally submitted the policy.
A light dialogue features Mrs Farmer asking what she will get for a meal. Weary Willie promises to let her name the baby after him, adding a humorous twist to a domestic scene.
A string of sensational headlines recounts domestic mishaps and scandalous social slips. A husband breaks precious china washing dishes, a candidate mishandles initiation, a ballplayer nerves under his sweetheart’s gaze and loses, a hurried marriage reveals an unexpected widow with seven children, and a former smoker wins cigars at a raffle.
In the suburbs a retired business man climbs a forest of trees to check a poet statement that there are no birds in last year’s nests. He says he reads poetry and won’t take things on trust, so he seeks direct evidence.
Weary Willie criticizes a pie as the worst he ever tasted. Mrs Jones offers a dollar to stop the complaint. The pie is said to be baked by the husband’s mother.
A farmer extols his son as a great inventor calling him petrified motion in a humorous courtroom exchange. The city boarder questions the claim while the judge presides over a joke version of the case.
Mrs Jokesmith jokes about boat shaped hats while advising her husband with a witty tip. Jokesmith quips about skipping her gar in, reflecting lighthearted seaside fashion banter.
A dramatic exchange unfolds as The Chap begs for time and money after an heiress rebuffs him. He halves his loss by proposing a sum to hold or sway her, while she remains steadfast in her refusal.
In London a lady asks her butler Dobson to ensure Mrs Busby Burnem at the far end of the table gets ample portions. She remarks the guest appears to have an extraordinary appetite. The note adds a hint she is preparing for a long jail stay.
A mother tells her daughter to be kind to a young druggist who would be a good husband, insisting she wants a duke or gentleman. The daughter resists, then complies, choosing the druggist as a spouse after the swift exchange.
A quip contrasts Mrs. Peckum with a sharp line about her independent image and a large salary. The joke notes she does not earn it herself, but her husband earns it, while she commands the pay.
A brief dialogue scene contrasts curiosity about lineage with the grim certainty of mortality. A man explains that his ancestors are all dead, while a woman notes the fortune of that fact.
Genial Squire visits William aged eighty who declines tobacco saying he will take no chances as he nears the end of life. The exchange from London Punch reflects a humorous social note on aging and habits.
A cryptic exchange recalls a barber who left the city and a decades long push to sell hair tonic. The speaker laments the change and contemplates starting a new battle with a new barber after fifteen years of avoidance.
A witty quip about learning French to save money in Paris followed by a jab about appearances. It notes that language might not win genuine perception, suggesting humor about foreign personas and stereotypes.
A humorous vignette from Youth's Companion recounts a housekeeper claiming no personal files while a guest recalls seeing neighbors' flies in the dining room. The aunt dismisses the intrusion as harmless, framing it as occasional.
Expert guidance from Prof. John Willard Bolte on placing garden arches to suit surroundings. Emphasizes using arches as gateways between distinct garden scenes and suggests materials, vine coverings, and viewing angles for harmony with houses and landscapes. Also includes seasonal lawn care tips and edging techniques for clean borders.
A landscape essay extols the lawn as the fundamental base of garden beauty. It notes lawns require care in hot southern climates, with weeds removed and turf rolled, watered, and kept neat, while fences often mask poor soil and sparse grass.
Summer best outdoors with sun and fresh air. Transplant older, inexpensive plants after late frost, in rich loamy beds or window boxes. Water regularly, prune to boost flowering, pinch buds for winter blooms, and protect ferns and tropicals with proper soil, sun, and pest control.
The Michigan experiment station finds stock should often grind their own grain to save on feed costs, though grinding or soaking is sometimes needed. Barley should not be fed dry, soybeans are better ground or soaked, and grinding may aid mixtures with cottonseed meal or bran. No strict rule exists as margins vary between scenarios.
Ground oats with hulls removed provide near ideal feed for young pigs. Scattered oats on dry ground serve as excellent feed for brood sows. Crushed oats used as slop can comprise about one third of the ration for brood sows or growing pigs until fattening, but are not profitable for finishing hogs.
A historical description outlines a method to decapitate birds using a heavy wooden block with two spikes set apart. The fowl’s neck slips between the spikes, securing it for a single, decisive strike.
A paraphrase of Ralph Waldo Trine’s idea that thoughts form habits and life outcomes. The quotation emphasizes that persistent thinking shapes reality and future actions, warning that inner mental patterns become external facts.
Summer menus suggest fresh fruit desserts with custard and rice pudding and whipped cream desserts. Potted beef keeps in warm weather, jellied fish is served cold with mayonnaise, and chicken cutlets mix chicken with almonds eggs gelatine stock and cream for chilling molds.
The article discusses how motherhood is a challenging but pivotal period for women and promotes Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a valued tonic. It claims the product helps women prepare for childbirth, restore health, and recover nerves, offering confidential advice from the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co.
A short ethical vow recalling John Ruskin. It declares a personal aim to raise body and soul daily toward duty and happiness. The speaker seeks help, delight, and honor for others and peace for their own life rather than rivalry or contention.
Summer guidance on preserving food, choosing fruits vegetables and small meats. Advice covers mastication of fruit, breakfast challenges for varied tastes, omelets with sauces and almonds, and a sweet omelet served with maple airup sauce.
The dialogue questions a mysterious hair removing paste cited in beauty tips. One speaker recalls obtaining a paste that caused unexpected baldness after dipping into shallow water, implying caution about such remedies.
Buyers urged to choose square napkins at the bar gain counter to avoid issues during laundry.
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