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This newspaper page contains 29 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Apr 09, 1913
Page
2
A jumble of quips and social notes fills the page with playful lines about spring hats, alarm clocks, rowdy marriage advice, price taxes in Bulgaria, and odd anecdotes from cities like Boston, Chicago, and New York. The pieces lampoon trends and personalities of the era.
In a quip about medical progress a critic notes that modern medicine relies on the guinea pig but no statue stands for him. The remark underscores the unseen labor behind surgical advances.
A New York court is urged to assign a $500 value to a single bean linked to a woman's fall, noting ballplayers often bean opponents for less value multiple times each season.
A provocative remark notes a New York female dentist who allegedly treats only “insane” patients, suggesting her practice aims to counterbalance patient madness with specialized care.
The question notes American war vessels will search for icebergs along the travel line of American passenger ships next spring and asks who will search for the American war vessel if they encounter icebergs.
A New York man arrested for theft claimed he was a human mouse and that a prenatal mark compelled his actions. He argued his crimes could have been limited to cheese theft if not for these reasons.
Christy Mathewson was fined £10 after speeding in an automobile. The famed pitcher faced a rare auto offense as authorities noted his notable pace behind the wheel.
The late Professor Agassiz is reported to have left an estate exceeding two million dollars. He did not devote his entire career to teaching, indicating substantial non academic holdings or earnings.
A fashion trend from France sees women adopting facial dimples as a cosmetic fad. Experts note the technique involves creating indentations to mimic natural dimples, sparking debate over longevity and social desirability.
A physician quips that people should eat the most indigestible foods available though the comment targets newly wed couples as a playful social aside. The remark contrasts dietary extremes with everyday life.
An expert urges salesmen to study elocution and strategy, arguing talking alone can overwhelm but not always persuade. He warns that many speakers talk themselves into fatigue while failing to convince.
Two Hungarian editors dueled with sabers for two hours leaving one man cut on the hand. The rival showed no sign of letting the other return with the pen.
A Harlem cigar maker who supported five wires on a weekly wage of 15 dollars argues for keeping his financial system private. The case centers on his right to manage his own money without outside interference.
A New York woman known for wearing a watch on her ankle shows extreme fixation with not letting time slip away. Her unusual habit highlights a quirky approach to punctuality and personal style.
Scientists announce a skull discovery claimed as a missing link but question its fit by suggesting it may belong to a slain baseball player from last summer, casting doubt on the find.
Aunt Jane visits Mrs Merriwid who extols Mr Buttyn as the ideal expert helper in beauty fashion and housework. The talk turns to independence and learning from husbands with Merriwid praising his silent guidance and clever support in daily life.
A London Times excerpt recounts Sam S asking about the St Leger winner while in police custody. He mistakes a four year old for the actual horse and is rebuked by the court usher. The scene unfolds with misheard clues and blunt humor.
Dialogue shows doubt about a new hired girl staying with the business. The speaker notes she may remain only a week as she already asks for next Tuesday night off, suggesting uncertainty about her longer-term employment.
A fragmentary dialogue contrasts notions of ladies smoking cigars with a rebuttal about labeling women as ladies. The exchange reveals social expectations and evolving attitudes toward female smoking.
A Montana man recounts indigestion and nervousness until he tried Grape Nuts. He credits improved digestion nerves eyesight and mood to daily use and praises Postum Co. for promoting the product with a Farm Creek Michigan address and a plug for The Road to Wellville booklet.
In Santa Fe New Mexico archaeologists uncover that the governors palace built in 1905 rests on ruins of a prehistoric town. The walls show solid adobe and concrete construction techniques used by three centuries ago. The find reframes building history in the region and notes poured concrete segments in the old church at Santa Fe built with adobe lining.
The Feddersons of the Island of Sylt off Schleswig celebrate eighty years of marriage. Both are reported to be one hundred seven years old.
A copy of Prynne's His tria Mastis, an attack on siege plays, tied to the 1634 pillory punishment, is set to be sold soon at Sotheby's in London. The item carries historic literary and legal interest as a rare artifact from the punitive era.
A bank treasurer is found dead after hours and staff react with shock and grief. The punch line reveals the errand boy, a mind reader, quietly sensing the group's secret concern about who will fill the vacancy.
Mrs. Mary Taylor of St. Clair Missouri describes years of watery blisters cracking and bleeding on her hands. After trying remedies she used Cuticura Soap and Ointment following a doctor’s advice and reports complete cure with no remaining traces. Advertorial testimonial from 1912.
Dialogue captures an ironic clash where an American and an Englishman debate lineage and graft. The American asserts a nepotistic connection to business while the Englishman denies his father’s involvement, prompting a quip about graft.
Senator Sorghum questions the principal activities of the official position held by their friend while others debate who remains in the role. The dialogue hints at political maneuvering and loyalty within the circle.
The note promotes Dr. Pierce’s Pellets as a cure for constipation and related diseases. It claims tiny sugar coated granules provide thorough relief. It also comments that men boast about plans more than actions.
The item touts BE. W. GROVE's remedy with signature promises to cure a cold in one day and grip in two. It notes a laxative tone and makes a wary remark about self-deception in men toward their spouses.
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