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Newspaper
Chipley Banner
Location
Chipley, Florida, United States of America
Date
Nov 18, 1899
Page
4
A quirky prescription ad asserts a constitutional disease curing effect via Hood’s Sarsaparilla. It claims to expel impurities from blood and repair inflamed membranes. The text imitates 19th century medical rhetoric with exaggerated claims about remedies and tonics.
A Transvaal Critic notes that Tommy Atkins is seen as the poor man in a red coat and white helmet by Boers, yet in Natal garrison he is as clever as the Boers at taking cover and nearly blends with the dry grass in the field.
A Berlin paper reports at twenty seven feet depth on Gothland Island a skeletons of knights in full armor on horseback. Archaeologists believe the findings date to the ninth century.
An advertisement praising Syrup of Figs by the California Fig Syrup Company extols its fame, global reach, health benefits, and ethical status. It claims physician approval, pleasant taste, and lack of unpleasant after-effects, urging readers to obtain the genuine product from the named manufacturer.
eeSMREE eats eau bees BR
A meteor struck east of Mount Bomba in British Central Africa, its explosion heard for at least seventy miles. Fragments spread over a nine by three mile area, some weighing over five pounds. Scientists note atmospheric disturbances and cloud lines indicating high altitude air waves.
Professor N B Shaler doubts will o the wisps in swamps, suggesting myths arise from darkness. Bouvet Island, volcanic and ice locked, lies 1800 miles from the Cape of Good Hope. Rhinoplasty and skin grafting are described in Heidelberg and Cape Colony locust control uses fungus to kill swarms.
A country court heard a legal infant sue for injuries from its proud pope. The baby acted as court crier and was argued to have no standing. The judge allowed a carry out and return, and the infant won twenty five dollars and costs.
Weather lore hints at an early winter as night hawks and swallows react to unseen atmospheric shifts while birds head south. The piece notes the accumulating conditions may foretell cold weather and a burst of insect scarcity. It also projects that England will have 82 billion tons of coal still unused at the century’s start.
An archaeologist describes a fellow club member who appears highly educated yet imitates a barber by shaving the professor himself. The tale uses irony as the learned man reveals he shaved himself rather than relying on a professional barber.
Mr Meekton quips to a guest about Henrietta’s status not being “four-fifths” and jokes that calling her my better half would offend her. The pair discuss choosing a different fraction to flatter Henrietta rather than imply partialness.
A note on hair strength states that if a fair-haired person’s head hairs could be braided into a rope it would support about eighty tons or five hundred people. The claim is surprising given the hair’s fine thickness and can be tested by breaking a single strand.
Dr C I 8 Cawthon of Andalusia Alabama declares Tettering superior for eczema and stubborn skin diseases. The ad touts the remedy as a wonderful anti itchy eruption cure at 500 a box from J T Shuptrine Savannah Georgia.
A customer asks which cigars are best and points to the corner box with paper bands. The boy clerk suggests those with bands. the customer buys three and jokes about using cigar bands to justify buying an umbrella after saving two hundred.
Classified ad bundle offering permanent positions for two traveling salesmen per Southern state. Includes tobacco and patent medicine promotions, sample requests, and endorsements. Mentions Peerless Tobacco Wars Co Bedford City Virginia, Tyner’s Dyspepsia Remedy, No-To-Bac, Purxam Favrxs Daz dye, Cascarets. Also references generic advice quotes and a Boston druggist line.
The New York Sun reports large deposits by soldiers in the Philippines with paymasters at Manila. Regulars dominate the deposits, many soldiers save from $3 minimums, and some accounts show extraordinary sums, including a $13,000 single deposit and a $23,000 earlier entry. The system earned 4 percent interest, and officials anticipate deposits approaching $1,500,000 for the year.
The Los Angeles lawyer Chapman once linked with Senator Stephen M White in a case, fell ill after a dinner. A doctor suspected an ulcerated tooth after a red spot appeared, telling him a dentist was needed. Chapman asked to see his plate to locate the aching tooth.
In a humorous exchange, Swellguy claims a horse will trot in 2 40 but the dealer questions the distance and suggests a mile pace. The dealer notes he did not specify a distance, while Swellguy pushes that the horse will perform to the limit within 2 40.
A governor tests local police discipline by visiting a barracks at night. A sentry claims to wake the guard in an emergency but blasts go unanswered, revealing a fatal sleepiness. The governor commends the soldiers, implying no blame for midnight murders. London Globe reports.
Reported breakthrough shows Thorie explosive piercing a 4% inch hardened steel plate with ease. If the feat proves durable, it promises a notable mark in military use rivaling Hostetter's Stomach Sitters in medical acclaim for rapid relief of stomach liver and kidney issues.
An assemblage of old advertisements touts Cascarets for skin and liver cleansing to cure pimples and complexion issues, Hall’s Catarrh Cure claiming a constitutional remedy with a $100 reward if it fails, Dr Kline’s Nerve Restore and Philo’s Cure promoted with testimonials, and other bowel cleansing elixirs.
Letter from Muns E J Goopan Ackley Iowa praising Lydia B Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and Sanative Wash after years of kidney related troubles and failed medical treatments. She reports rapid improvement after three bottles and credits the remedy with her renewed health and appearance.
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