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Newspaper
Carroll Free Press
Location
Carrollton, Georgia, United States of America
Date
Aug 25, 1910
Page
5
A man named Little in Dublin chased his daughter who eloped with her lover. The puzzle asks the time, and the punchline is that it was Little after two, a play on words.
A cheerful wife tells her invalid husband she must leave briefly to fetch material for a new dress. He questions the timing but she assures him it will be fine, calling it a Black dress in a lighthearted moment from Pearson's Weekly.
The text blends a London Mail quotation on a flowerlike plant and a domestic drawer anecdote from the Exchange. It juxtaposes imaginary lines about a plant’s beauty with humorous notes on how women and men organize drawers. The fragmentary items reflect stylistic newspaper miscellany.
The text recounts how Talleyrand, famed diplomat of his era, was crippled by a childhood accident when a fall damaged his foot. An initial miscare left the injury untreated, causing lifelong deformity and lameness. This misfortune altered his life's course toward public service and history.
A woman shoplifter was caught stealing an umbrella worth $2.50 in a Philadelphia dry goods store. She paid for the umbrella to avoid prosecution. The next day she asked to see the manager and explained she could buy a similar umbrella elsewhere for $2, seeking a 50 cent refund, which she received in silence as a sign of praise for her nerve.
An old man asks if a wife can be supported. The youth jokes that two can live almost as cheaply as one, suggesting the extra cost is minor. The exchange, noted by the Chicago Post, uses humor to address household finance.
Windsor Magazine recounts a London visit by Li Hung Chang and a Stock Exchange leader who chose two valuable toy dogs as a present. Li Hung Chang thanked the donor, noting his age and strict diet. The dogs were to be shared with associates at his stall rather than kept by him.
Two U S marines on shore leave in Tokyo were approached by Marquis Hiro umi Ito, then prime minister of Japan, who engaged them in a probing cross examination about civilization and the U S Marine Corps. He offered his carriage, then handed the sailors his visiting card and left.
Tenants of a temperance minded Scotch nobleman were served only aerated water and milk. A farmer secretly spiked his neighbor’s milk with rum, the drinker enjoyed it and finished the glass. The farmer exclaimed to his companion, What a cop.
The term paperhanger comes from Arras in France where tapestry hangers fixed wall coverings. Even after tapestries gave way to wallpaper, the workers who hung them retained the name hangers, evolving from tapestry hangers to paper hangers.
The summers in north China are dry and hot with a short spell of heavy rains followed by a long dry fall and winter. Frost appears about mid October and the river freezes by late November, staying closed until mid February or about a month later. Snow is rare and light, and the cold remains steady throughout.
In a quiet room a girl named Hila nudges her father to notice a suitor. She declares Mr Wilkins admires his future daughter in law and predicts another visit will bring a proposal to make him the father of a son in law.
A man asks for an all wool suit in a grease stained color to hide a grease spot. The tailor notes the stain has no distinct color or pattern and cannot be produced as a fabric. After long discussion the tailor cannot supply the requested grease spot cloth and the buyer leaves unsatisfied.
A highland girl who had served in Dundee asks her former mistress to bless the meal on a return visit, saying the blessing was the same phrase her master used sax years ago. The London Telegraph notes the line as a grand memory preserved in speech.
An eminent surgeon urges parents to cultivate hearty laughter in children. He says a strong laugh expands the chest and boosts blood flow, benefiting listeners and banishing blues. Merriment is contagious and a source of harmonious living, described as the finest music.
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