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Newspaper
Butler Weekly Times
Location
Butler, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Jun 06, 1901
Page
3
A collage of tiny humor bits from various papers features callers and patients, a bald faced man, a doctor joke about fees, a boastful suitor, wedding cake mishaps, mercenary money talk, and a seaside play joke. From Cincinnati to Boston the snippets showcase light caption humor and dated punchlines.
Justice David J. Brewer of the U S Supreme Court will wed Miss Emma Minor Mott, former Morse School principal, in Burlington Vermont next week. The ceremony will be intimate due to a bride family death with a Lake Champlain honeymoon and a winter Washington residence planned. The bride, born in New York and educated at Oswego Normal, attends the First Congregational Church where the judge leads a Bible class. Rheumatism cure advertise nearby promotes Herbine sold by H L Tucker.
Boston marked Decoration Day with a damp, calm day. In the pravy yard a public event featured J J Myers speaker of the Massachusetts house and Rev F A Horton delivering addresses. Children strewed flowers on the water in memory of sailors lost at sea, with Mrs W T Sampson in charge and Rear Admiral Sampson presiding.
An advertisement touts Cascarets Candy Cathartic as the key remedy for chronic constipation. It claims a guaranteed cure with genuine tablets stamped C C C and notes they are never sold in bulk through druggists.
In Alturas California a mob of about forty masked men seized Calvin Hall and his three sons Frank Jim and Martin along with Dan Yantis after years of horse theft. They were hanged from a bridge near Lookout at 1 am as three officers were overpowered. The mob dispersed within five minutes and by 10 am the bodies remained. Sheriff Street District Attorney Benny and Reporter Dean traveled to the scene.
Marvin Finster pulled away the roof of an old farmhouse north of Eldora on May 30 and uncovered a barrel of coins. A rain of silver dollars cascaded out, with dates on the coins indicating they are quite old, suggesting an early burial by a previous miser.
Candy Cathartic touts a cure for constipation with Cascarets sold for 25 cents. It promises a refund if the product fails, indicating a druggist backed guarantee.
Beaumont Texas May 40 A Boston financed syndicate plans to absorb two large Beaumont yellow pine plants along with land tram roads and tidewater holdings in a deal valued over eight million dollars The combined enterprise will bring thousands of acres of timber and new mills along the Gulf Kansas City line with total capitalization possibly reaching 15 to 20 million dollars The move aims at economic control of related interests not a market monopoly directly. Piles cure urged with Tabler's Buckeye Pile Ointment offered by H L.
A long historical anecdote tells how a cunning enslaved man earned awe for claiming a barrel hid a live coon under a wager. When pressed to reveal the barrel’s contents, he sighed and quipped about “this old coon,” a remark that solidified his reputation and the nickname’s origin.
Indianapolis May 30 The Union Trust company as executor filed with Probate Commissioner Walker the appraisement of Benjamin Harrison personal property at death totaling 176725 and Indianapolis realty appraised at 5144 000.
A vintage remedy advert promises cure of tobacco use with a two sstly tonic. It claims strength, vigor, and rapid weight gain with bold figures and 500 cures cited. Offers free booklets from Sterling Remedy Co. in Chicago or New York.
The Vesta cotton mills in Charleston plan to relocate to Gainesville to employ white labor, abandoning colored help. The piece argues labor quality and thrift evolve with civilization, detailing how whites invest in future labor while portraying blacks as limited to day-to-day work. A joke about a janitor hiring anecdote ends the excerpt.
In Memphis Tennessee a fatal conflict erupted between brothers William and Jesse Wooten. After a quarrel near a warehouse, William was shot dead by Jesse who returned fire wounding his brother and his wife. Jesse was arrested at the scene as the crowd dispersed. Domestic trouble led to the deadly exchange.
The Spectator argues about American commerce and imperial power amid talk of annexing Mexico. It reviews pressures from a possible new president Diaz era, concerns over a Spanish American state, and the Supreme Court's stance on imperialism shaping policy.
London reports Lord Kitchener saying Delarey pressed a close attack near Windfontein on the Durban Johannesburg line. British loss heavy with 174 casualties including 35 dead on the field. garrison reportedly sea service men. The fight followed earlier reverse at Magieksteburg with General Clements.
Chinese officials debate paying 45000000000 taels as indemnity with a plan to raise the customs tariff to 1 percent and extract 3000 taels annually from the likin tax, while considering ending likin on foreign goods. Meanwhile Governor Dockery and his wife visit Gallatin Missouri due to the illness of his father, Rev. W. F. Dockery, and plan to return to Jefferson City soon.
Milan Mo June 2 burglars entered the post office between 2 and 3 am and blew the safe. They gained about 26 in cash and 50 in stamps. An entrance was made through the back. The explosion was heard a block away. A fishing trip party saw two men fleeing the building but the pair escaped and no clues were found.
A fragment notes a statutory or medical endorsement for Bromo Quinine Tablets with references to a remedy claim. The readable fragment mentions a signatore and a promise of improvement by a future day, implying a testimonial or advertisement claim from an individual.
Castoria advert aside. Governors reject resignations of Tillman and McLaurin to grant time for the people to consider action. Tillman and McLaurin sent resignations after a heated dispute over Democratic party strategy. They sought reelection plans for a primary next autumn as their terms extended.
Five large cracks open in Butte Montana across the city with a twelve inch gap on West Giadenna street and shifts in granite walls. Gas and water lines suffer repeated breaks as city engineer notes elevations and bench marks moving, especially west of Main Street and north of Broadway. Citizens fear ongoing ground movement.
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