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Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Mar 26, 1909
Page
4
A compact collection of diverse folk beliefs. It notes European and Scottish practices around Christmas foods and luck. Traditions include stirs in pans for luck, nine knob cakes, breaking knobs and tossing them, avoiding mince pies with knives, and eating many pies at various homes for long happiness.
A New York Press tale notes how ancient beauties prized beards while bishops urged shaving. Louis VII cropped his hair and whiskers provoking Eleanor Aquitaine to divorce, her remarriage to the Count of Anjou, and a chain of wars that reshaped French history.
In 1860 regimental journal of the Fighting Fifth recounts Captain FitzRoy firing an air gun at an adjutant bird protected by a 100 rupee penalty. Bird falls, no report, court of inquiry convened with FitzRoy as president. verdict: the bird died of sunstroke.
A hopelessly in love man stays up late to write a poem for his beloved. He sends about three yards of verse for her opinion. She replies with a clever acrostic that reads her true sentiments, turning his romance into a witty lesson.
An elderly patient is admitted to a London hospital with a poisoned leg. The house surgeon bluntly states the leg must be amputated, revealing dark humor as the patient jokes about losing her head. The blunt medical verdict contrasts with the woman’s rueful wit.
The London Chronicle notes surface changes on the moon, especially at Linnaeus crater, suggesting the white patch diminishes due to hoarfrost melting at sunrise while frost deposits and melts occur in other areas according to observations by some astronomers.
A quoted exchange from the Chicago Tribune recounts a confrontation in which a resident complains a neighbor insulted him over clothing offers. The speaker recalls asking for old garments to aid a pure man, only to be offered a bathing suit, highlighting social tensions and class humor in a street dispute.
Dout expresses willingness to work and specifies a desired role. He would enjoy calling out the stations on an Atlantic liner, seeking a job that fits his interests and skills.
Griggs-Surely one in which you succeed in breaking away from the girl without becoming engaged to her. Kansas City Independent notes a humorous take on clever partings and social norms.
A concise quotation attributed to Quintilian on the value of striving for error-free judgment as the foundation of true excellence.
A New York daily paper describes a potion for Bright's disease and kidney disorders. The recipe combines Fluid Extract Dandelion half ounce, Compound Kargon one ounce, Compound Syrup Sarsaparilla three ounces. Drink teaspoonful after meals and at night. A local druggist calls ingredients harmless and affordable, noting they cleanse kidney tissue and aid filtration and waste removal. He suggests many readers with medical trouble try it.
Dialogue fragment features a man named He who earned a large salary before marriage and now his wife earns it. A landlady comes in with a demand to pay debts or leave. A character Slowpay jokes about previous duties. An elderly voice, Uncle Eben, warns about forgiveness not leading to sociable horse trading.
Theodore N. Vail presents annual figures showing 4,864,429 Bell stations, up 625,629 from last year, with 1,108,144 exchange and toll lines. The system unites American Telephone and Telegraph with associated companies, delivering long-distance service and centralized management. Plant value exceeds $680 million with $600 million public obligations, while dividends and interest paid on this debt total about $2600,000,000. The report notes the public benefits from maintenance and depreciation funding, with over $40 million spent or reserved this year for upkeep.
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