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Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Jan 10, 1905
Page
4
Excerpt from Blackwood's Magazine laments a misruled era with bold ads and public notoriety. It contrasts entertainment, divorce, and fame with genuine charity, noting society’s appetite for applause and superficial decorations over true virtue.
The piece analyzes repeated cat imagery in Shakespeare, citing Lady Macbeth, Falstaff, Mercutio and others. It notes lines implying a cat’s fondness for fish, fear of wet feet, melancholy as a gib cat, and the king of cats with nine lives. It concludes with the famous scratch exchange.
A tobacco dealer notes dyed in the wool pipe smokers polish by rubbing the bowl against the face, typically near the nose. Heat from briar and skin oils create a glassy sheen, with long rubbing months yielding a rose wood like glow and pride in polished pipes.
A large gong in Seoul, Korea, reputedly the world’s biggest, earned a haunting tale. When cast, its note was harsh until priests claimed a live baby must be sacrificed to appease the bell. A baby’s wail, audible as the bell tolled, supposedly still lingers in its bronze voice.
A digestibility note argues cheese is harder to digest than ordinary food. It says cheese mainly contains casein, which is digestible and insoluble fat hinders digestion, and suggests eating cheese in small amounts with abundant bread and thorough mastication.
Fragmentary quip notes disbelief that Mrs Newly was born to privilege. The speaker argues she is independently wealthy, worth three million, and that wealth does not justify disdain or a simple breakfast misstep. The Detroit Free Press cites the remark as a humorous aside.
Mrs Youngbride complains about flour sent by Baker claiming it produced tough pastry. She says she tried to bake, but the dough was hard enough that her husband could barely cut it.
Ally Sloper notes the value of true friendship in a humorous exchange with Jawkins and Pawkins. The dialogue emphasizes trust as a greater blessing than mere companionship, highlighting the comic relatability of loyal allies.
A fragmentary exchange discusses a paver spoiling pavement and covering it with earth to hide faulty work. The speaker accuses the paver and others of bad workmanship, implying broader accountability for the earthing of the surface.
A playful exchange follows a pledge to secrecy with a condition stated in a witty currency reference, revealing a laughing stipulation about keeping quiet only if payment is provided.
The passage recalls authors who penned notable works during confinement. John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim's Progress in prison over twelve years, Mirbeau produced pamphlets in Vincennes, Luther wrote Eine Vest e Burg ist unser Gott, Raleigh authored a world history in the Tower, Defoe produced works during two years’ imprisonment, Lovelace wrote Lucasta, and Boethius composed On the Consolation of Philosophy.
If indecision runs in the blood you must resist it. Begin today to cultivate firm decisions even on small matters. Weigh factors quickly, call on common sense, and once decided, do not waver or reopen the issue. Be firm and positive. Declare the polls closed.
A humorous note on elephant grooming claims it takes at least four weeks to complete a single elephant’s toilet. It details staffing by a day or week valet and a chief supervisor, plus large costs for soap by the hundredweight sandpaper by the gross and oil by the barrel. The total can reach about $100 per elephant.
Tales of court humor reveal how Bassompierre joked with Louis XIII about Madrid on a mule and Ferdinand II alternated between indulgent banter and anger at his fool Jonas. The wit, boldness, and royal reactions illustrate early modern court culture and power dynamics.
The report recalls a London event where Ble Ben the bell allegedly struck fourteen at midnight near the Houses of Parliament. It compares to the Westminster Great Tom case when a sentinel claimed thirteen strikes, a claim proven false and leading to the sentinel's execution. Hatfield died in 1770 at Aldersgate aged 102.
In Berlin you must take the first available cab from the row. A family of eight gets a one horse drosky for two, then hires others for overflow. A lone bachelor with a single grip must take the eight seat family vehicle or face arrest. In Germany you’re liable to be arrested for almost anything anywhere at any time.
A hurried suitor declares he has known the mother longer than her daughter and faces the objection that the match is sudden. The mother protests, but the suitor asserts the daughter mirrors her parent and wins approval.
In a Philadelphia Press exchange Towne asserts the name Braggs is familiar while Browne denies knowledge of him. Towne retorts that Browne has never been within Braggs’ speaking range, signaling a heated confrontation over who Braggs is.
The dialogue hints at a romantic exchange with Bertie expressing a bold wish to kiss if unseen and May asking to close her eyes, conveying a secretive or intimate moment between the two.
A compact aphorism notes that power derives from belief and opinion. It emphasizes that authority ultimately rests on collective perception rather than raw force. The quote attributed to Itume anchors a reflection on governance and legitimacy.
A legendary tale credits Julius Caesar with a one word speech to the mutinous Tenth legion. He uttered Quintes meaning citizens to civilians, disowning the soldiers and dismissing them. The veterans wept, sought forgiveness, and punished the mutineers to show their repentance.
An Montana miner visits Anaconda to see a panorama play not previously seen by him. He sits alone for about twenty minutes studying a gray pyramidal mountain curtain and then leaves in disdain, muttering that the panorama is a pretty rotten panorama. The tale contrasts frontier simplemindedness with urban entertainment.
Among the Kherrias of India the wedding ritual is described as humorous. The priest tests fate by oil tracing from the bride and groom’s hair to the nose, predicting fortune. After fortunes are read, the couple stand side by side with faces averted and apply sindur to each other’s foreheads.
A London Globe note recounts a positively true tale of Scotch pawkiness. A naval correspondent travels with a Scotsman to Inverness shire. The Scotsman endures the train’s pacing and finally exclaims about a local cup of coffee costing six pence.
Kilmore recalls that Stedman apologized and withdrew accusations against his people after a direct appeal. Kilmore concedes the apology was voluntary, noting he had threatened to shoot if he did not retract, a remark described as a mere detail of the event.
The Chicago Record-Herald reports a witty exchange as a politician notes how a boy resembles his husband, while the mother confirms their family adopted the child only last week. The remark highlights surprise over looks and the new family’s swift arrival.
A late Edinburgh doctor tested a self claiming mathematician student by asking how many sides a circle has. The student answered two, naming the inside and outside as the two sides in a witty exchange.
The Philadelphia Ledger notes Cassidy Flannagan plans to enter the hauling business by buying a new cart today. Casey jokes he lacks a horse, but admits Flannagan intends to buy one soon, matching his habit of getting the cart before the horse.
The husband sighs over a newspaper tale of a man who died by his own action due to an unhappy home. The wife asks whether this makes the home any happier, noting uncertainty in the paper’s account.
An old gentleman remarks on spending as a sign of economics. He notes when we do not spend we are prudent, but when others withhold spending they are stingy. The comment frames personal finance in terms of broader economic behavior.
A joint installation at Grand Army hall installed Babbitt Post No 15 G A R officers led by Commander George H Peck and Babbitt Woman's Relief Corps No 19 officers led by President Mrs Marvy K Finch. Speechmaking followed with figures from local and state officers, a bouquet presented to retiring president Emma E Carey, and a Relief Corps collation to conclude.
Samuel Hopkins Adams argues in McClure's that tuberculosis remains a world scourge due to ignorance greed and prejudice. He notes millions die in the US while modern cleanliness fresh air and sanitoria could curb the disease urging compulsory case reporting and enforcement against tenement owners and institutions resisting reform.
The excerpt attacks affluent slum owners profiting from tenement misery and endorses citizen support for public education sanitaria funding and strong tuberculosis controls. It cites Adams urging wiser legislation and ends with a fisk of a quote from Puck about appetite revealing character.
Four-dose trial of Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets shows rapid relief. For sale by W. H. Baffington.
A Princeton Tiger quip jokes about love at first sight, contrasting romance with a bank account reveal in a witty one liner. The line: Did he fall in love at first sight Yes First sight of her bank account.
Advertising copy proclaims PAZO OINTMENT offers relief for itching bleeding and protruding piles with a promised refund if not cured within 14 days. First application provides ease, price five cents, stamps requested if druggist lacks product, mailed post paid by Paris Medicine Co. St. Louis Mo.
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