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Brimfield News in Brimfield, Illinois

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Articles on This Page

This newspaper page contains 7 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Brimfield News

Location

Brimfield, Illinois, United States of America

Date

Aug 24, 1950

Page

8

Taking No Chances farmer joke at village station

A farmer and his wife visit the village railway station and question the agent about trains. The agent confirms no trains are due or running, prompting the farmer to advise his wife Sophie to cross the tracks. The exchange ends with a practical joke tone.

Sophie

Fire escape racket at hotel prompts advance payment offer

A gaunt man checked into a town hotel amid recent fires and claimed a top-floor room. The proprietor spotted a coil of rope and asked its use. The man said it was a personal fire escape. The landlord replied guests with such escapes pay in advance.

Professor Ends Lecture With One More Pearl

A history professor, mid climax, pauses as students slam shut lecture chairs and prepare to leave. He lifts a hand and declares he has a few more pearls to cast, delaying the exit for one minute.

Banker dodges charity visit with sprained back tale

A banker excuses a charity delegation by saying he has a sprained back. The visitors insist on speaking with him, urging the secretary to relay that they did not come to wrestle but to talk with him. The exchange highlights a humorous refusal to meet the delegation.

Absent-minded professor improvises a parachute descent

A distracted scholar performs a risky ascent then descends in a basket as observers note his forgetful delay and humorous quip. He mutters Dear me as he recalls his lapse, reflecting on the mishap with mild regret.

Hmeif

Fele Watt Rushed Note from Turbulent Train Car Scene

Fragmentary OCR yields a garbled line about Watt, a lad, and a tram. It hints at a terse scene aboard a moving vehicle with names and partial phrases but lacks clear events, dates, or complete identities to form a full report.

Official Order Echoes In Humble Riddle Of Paternal Claim

A fragmented excerpt hints at a legal or paternal dispute with cryptic lines about ownership and guardianship. The text suggests a decree assigning a child to a father, mixed with phrases about mothers and guardians, but the source remains incomplete and unclear.

Also Mentioned on This Page

Junior Miedavenport Mother Sistr Jane Fele Watt Pats Pak Wes Papa Hatever Old Earth Grace Noll Crowell Brimfield Westinghouse Electric Refrigerator A. B Perry Walker Col M. R. Clark Heart of Illinois Imperial Webster Chrysler America Leoutttel
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