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This newspaper page contains 15 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bowen Chronicle
Location
Bowen, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Feb 25, 1915
Page
2
A lengthy satirical piece parodies a lavish party ending in social embarrassment. It mocks overeager entertainers and the pretensions of high society, then shifts to a wry tale about a doomed marriage and the lure of popular novels as moral guidance.
The Reverend Aked once retold a tale of an eccentric American who rushed a midnight marriage. He arrived with his bride outside a clergyman’s house and demanded a quick ceremony. The stunned minister and witnesses tied the knot, only to hear the groom ask why the clergyman was surprised by the hurried request.
A dialogue features a quip about a medicine claimed to cure insomnia. The speaker argues being wide awake would ruin the product’s market, while another asserts the remedy targets sleeplessness and could be a unique cure.
A Philadelphia Record correspondent sketches Vera Cruz as a cosmopolitan hub two miles of waterfront streets deep, with Hotel Diligencia and Avenue de la Independencia epitomizing colonial and modern commerce. The city hosts European traders, Aztec heritage, and a bustling plaza life, while scavenger buzzards roam after the siesta and Cortez’s ships burned in 1519 at the parochial church.
A Lakewood mother overhears her children, aged five and seven, debating why a new baby sister is unaffordable. The elder cites money while the younger asks where babies come from, prompting a discussion about poverty and trying to make over what is scarce. The tale, attributed to the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Webster quotation contrasts marble and brass with immortal souls. It asserts that engraving moral principles and reverence for God and love of others leaves a lasting, bright mark for eternity.
A quip from Mr Growcher defines an optimist as a man who believes he has the makings of an automobile after securing only a gallon of gasoline and a spark plug. The remark underscores a humorous, skeptical view of hopeful plans.
A famed skyscraper builder in his New York office remarked that costs and values are easily confused since many men would insist gas provides a brighter light if sunshine had to be paid for. He quipped sunshine as a priced resource to parallel the bright gas glare.
A clipped exchange notes Briggins’ efforts to seem younger. He dyes his mustache and wears a toupee yet insists it isn’t enough. He then claims he puts on aging clothes and imitates a Boy Scout to appear youthful.
Dr Bertillon advocates psychotherapia or soul culture as the medicine of the future. He uses environmental relaxation rather than trances and guides patients to sleep then uses a metronome cue to imprint prohibitions such as abstaining from absinthe. He also treats unhappy love affairs through hypnotism for emotional release.
United States forces report a bold patrol led by Sergeant Murphy in the Philippines. While crossing a supposedly destroyed bridge he and his detachment were halted by a galloping officer who warned of the danger. Murphy replied that the detachment intended to swim, not detour, reflecting quick thinking under fire. A separate light note tells of a newlywed with a gas cooker and a joking card rule about seeing the other side.
A playful exchange Eur: Swipes speaks of a country outing noting abundant grass and a casual ear for rustic humor. Chimmie responds with a question about what was seen, prompting a light, folksy dialogue in a rural setting.
Snifkins is described as erratic and prone to odd behavior suggesting a mental strain or instability. The remark implies a perception of fault or looseness in his judgment. The passage presents a clipped dialogue fragment with uncertain meaning.
A dated essay summarizes an elderly man in western France who kept a personal expense ledger for 52 years. He smoked thousands of cigars, bought clothing, paid fares, and spent heavily on liquor with tips, portraying a curious, detailed portrait of frugality and habit.
A preacher in a sermon on the Prodigal Son repeats years and years and years for emphasis. Laughter erupts when he recalls the calf the father kept for years and years and years. An advertisement for Wright's Indian Vegetable Pills and a cartoon caption follow.
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