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Newspaper
Big Timber Pioneer
Location
Big Timber, Montana, United States of America
Date
Dec 28, 1905
Page
6
A collage of quirky observations on world events and society. References range from Admiral Togo’s wages, whisky trends, and Nashville’s search for strength to bank exam failures and humor about laughter. News notes touch on Chicago toothpick habits, Henry Arthur Jones, Hall Caine at Rockefeller events, and the liner Amerika’s dining versus storage facilities.
The full fall text of the Portsmouth treaty is more comprehensive than the summary that followed.
The remark notes Jerome K. Jerome’s quip about American cooking and observes that the joke holds true whether treated humorously or in earnest, reflecting on culinary practices.
Secretary Taft argues football needs reforming describing the game as no game for gentlemen aligned with his view of architectural standards attributed to Mr Taft.
A homeowner laments that most pleasure from a clean home and lawn comes from passersby who slow to look at it rather than residents enjoying the space themselves. The note highlights a tension between curb appeal and private enjoyment.
Public unrest in Russia halts a Caucasus tunnel project estimated at 150 million dollars, with work paused due to disturbed public mind and political conditions.
The Atchison Globe reports a case where women allegedly tear garments, split the fabric, wet and dry the pieces, and return them with a bill. The tale highlights a suspected fraudulent pattern involving damaged clothing and charges billed to customers.
A brief note recalls the imprisonment of an American social figure in Paris after a deadly crash caused by reckless driving. The article mentions the girl who died as the test of the case and hints at the consequences faced.
A proposed New Jersey law would require drunken chauffeurs to pay 1600 dollars and serve three years in state prison, a measure aimed at reducing traffic deaths through stricter punishment.
Chief chemist Wiles reports a laboratory finding related to butter flavored with coal tar dye. The note describes a step in a dangerous testing sequence and hints at the potential for a harmful or controversial product variant.
Observers note his relentless work ethic of at least fourteen hours daily. Now he exits office in disgrace, lacking allies and faced with widespread public scrutiny.
At Fort Leavenworth the signal corps uses kites to show the upper atmosphere is filled with wireless messages seeking a lighted receiver. This demonstration highlights early air-to-ground communication potential and public interest in aerial signaling.
A New York man injured by a car said he would not press charges against the driver, stating that the chauffeur was not at fault. The remark appears in a brief, puzzling note contrasting modern heroism with the adage that heroic philosophers are not all dead.
Spanish naval authorities have given up all hope of saving the armor and hull of the cruiser Cardinal Espurge currently lying in sixty feet of water. She is as effectively lost as the kettle in the well, though they know such salvage is impractical.
A Victorian craft guide lists inexpensive handmade holiday gifts. It details doll trunks, blotting books, doll dinners, toiletry covers, and Story of Christmas cards with step by step construction, using cloth, cardboard, and embroidery to create charming, practical favors.
A Frenchman named Marcillac prepares for an arctic air voyage and is as confident as Andree once was. The main obstacle remains ice buildup on balloon surfaces, as Peary noted frost accumulating on tent poles and gear, suggesting frost could doom such voyages.
Col J M Buchanan notes his youngest son served as a Rhodesian horse trooper in the South African campaign. He reports the son was severely wounded at Hammam’s Karaal with a comminuted fracture of the left humerus, twenty one splinters removed. That same day a mirror in Ireland shattered, a possible comminuted fracture observed by the colonel.
Maj. Powell Cotton, in the Kon go Free State, describes a practice where infirm elders are drugged, wrapped in fresh antelope skins, carried away from the village, and abandoned near a track. A passerby spears the “antelope,” while the family reveals its supposed horror, secretly celebrating the outcome.
W Fleming, curator of Harvard Observatory celestial plates since 1897, oversees about 150000 plates recording images of stars since 1886. Her meticulous study reveals unusual spectrum lines leading to eighty three new stars in a cluster once thought to hold fifteen. A Dundee born woman, she is said to have discovered more stars than any other astronomer.
Archaeologists reveal that ancient Egyptians built irrigation works and an artificial lake in Fayoum thousands of years before Christ. Herodotus Strabo and Diodorus describe a ten mile canal connecting the Nile to this reservoir, controlled by sluices, supporting dense populations in antiquity.
Consuelo Yanga Bailey, a teenager born on the Yznaga plantation near L Argent Louisiana, has ventured on the stage with Daniel Frohman eyeing an ingenue role. She recently appeared in Providence Rhode Island in Ben of the Broken Bow to strong notices.
A Philadelphia butcher denounces the Philadelphia Scrapple Trust as the dominant producer, describing industrial scale pork processing from live pigs to canned product. He details ingredients, boiling, grinding, secret seasoning, and rapid production, claiming Philadelphia scrapple is widely eaten across America and could rival pie as a national dish.
A New York grammar school principal, Prof. Alpheus Du Bois, saved $1500 to $3000 a year for fifty years and, with compound interest, could reach about $250,000 after forty years and near a half million with another decade. The piece explains how consistent saving and interest drive large fortunes.
A Gorham Missouri itinerant Methodist preacher Parson Bradley famed for odd prayers once prayed in North Yarmouth asking God to give rain but saying the people needed manure, reflecting his blunt humor prior to a dry spell.
Mrs. G. W. Longwell of a homestead in Lyman County reports hawks and eagles so numerous in the region that poultry keeping is nearly impossible. A large hawk recently swooped down in the dooryard and carried off the family cat.
A Sydney newspaper man John Plummer has been engaged at a salary of 2000 dollars a year to write articles in the British American and continental papers in defense of the commonwealth its legislation and administration
Edward O. Jackson from the Boston Transcript presents a poetic meditation on autumn after summer. The speaker notes fading summer, lingering harmony in nature, and a resolve to find joy despite winter, with images of fields, skies, bees, birds, and a sense of nature's cycles.
A humorous piece cautions readers about slick promises and unsafe trends. It mocks a stingy adviser figure while warning of hazards from dubious products like hair dye and suspicious characters such as a man named Booze and his snakes.
A dialogue shows Jack asking his sister for a testimonial letter praising his shirts and collars. The sister questions how to phrase it while the comic tone hints at playful vanity and domestic satire in the Catholic Standard and Times excerpt.
Mr. Booze describes a woods behind the barn crowded with snakes. Mrs. Booze counters that he often claimed to have seen them all over the room at home. The exchange plays on hyperbole and domestic teasing about fear.
A passerby hears waves of laughter from an amateur performance labeled Hamlet and notes the crowd’s infectious cheer as he nears the box office seeking what’s on stage.
A dialogue presents a loop of escalating armor and projectile aims. The seeker seeks an invulnerable armor, the naval expert counters with searching for an unstoppable projectile, then a new phase requires a weapon that defeats any armor.
A dialogue between a woman and Tom centers on whether angels exist and if a particular girl belongs among them. The exchange turns to a sly admission that one girl angel may not be in heaven, sparking a surprised response.
A college student, anxious over a check he mailed, speaks by long distance to his father who reassures him the payment is safe. The father reports the check is kept safe in his checkbook and promises no delay.
A brief humoristic exchange notes a hippy bachelor who dyed his hair black after turning gray at thirty and, four weeks later, married. The tale underscores concerns about dye safety in a light, anecdotal form.
A brief snipe between a skinflint and a beggar turns into a sharp, humorous street exchange about value and money. The quick quip leaves both parties with a wary nod and a chuckle.
A brisk exchange between a college football trainer and a freshman reveals bold confidence and a history of reckless experiences. The trainer questions the freshman’s bold plan to start, while the student cites four auto smashes and many Coney Island shows as proof of resilience.
The ambitious youth asks how to study and practice for a literary career. The advisor with a bulging forehead and pointed whiskers exhorts study of economy and strict self denial as the path to success.
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