New Year Resolutions By Bill Vines
A satirical column urges readers to avoid hasty New Year resolutions. It recalls the ease of abandoning vows by January 15 and advertises a humorous stockpile of unused resolutions laid out by a committee. The piece uses playful tone and dated phrasing.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bill Vines
Committee On Resolutions
The Good Resolution Plays Out In A Dark Comic Sketch
A Birmingham Age-Herald comic vignette mocks the allure of New Year resolutions. A weary narrator recalls past failed vows and fiscal woes as a cheerful yet treacherous resolution offers comfort, only to falter amid bills and addiction, ending with a stubborn vow to endure till July.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
America
Birmingham
Lerald
A Native Blessing for Safe Travel and Prosperity
A traditional Nelo Year greeting wishes an lh Indian traveler constant shelter and sorrowless journeys. It invokes abundant food storage, fertile fields, bees that endure winter, thick honey, and a heart as bright as morning, ending with a serene farewell at the Four Corners where locals bid good night.
Noo Years Reflections on Resolutions and Merriment
A humorous essay about Noo Yeers as a time for self reflection and grand but short lived resolutions. It notes the mirror halo hope, the party mood downtown, and the afterglow of celebrations followed by bills and family debates about promises. It ends with a conservative aim to avoid sudden changes.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Peepul
Ennybuddy
Nobuddy
Furst Weke
Janyuary
Eddie
New Year Reflections on Happiness and Hope
Joe M. Chapple notes the 1916 wish for peace and personal plans for the new year. He urges care for those at home, encouragement for struggling neighbors, and a thoughtful look at the meaning of happiness and luck as the year begins.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Joe M. Chapple
National Magasine
New Year’s Morning and a Forty-Year Resolve
Roger Featherstone wakes on New Year’s Day after a raucous party and contemplates a lifelong bachelorhood. A dinner with relatives leads to a rekindled closeness with Betty Hurling, whose presence stirs unexpected feelings and challenges his vow to remain single.
New Year Customs in Old Wales Told in Folklore
A newspaper excerpt describes two New Year traditions in old Wales. First, male visitors arriving at homes on New Year morning, with a superstition that a female entering first foretells death. Second, the waits going door to door singing verses and sprinkling households with New Year water, led by a “Sprinkler” with water and box tree as they invoke worship and the New Year.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Roger
Roger Featherstone
Madge
Phil Barnes
Old Wales
Guardian Angel of Life Fires High Yet Sees All
A reflective quotation notes that the guardian angel of life sometimes fires so high as to be unseen, yet remains ever watching over people and will soon hover nearer to them.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Richter
Man’s Will Shapes His Portrait Even When Silent
A thoughtful line notes that a man cannot speak yet judges himself by his own will and by every word. His actions and speech draw a self-portrait to the eyes of others, reflecting his character and choices.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Emereoa
Proud Beauty in Distress Scandalized by Dramatic Poker Scene
A Detroit Free Press excerpt depicts a proud beauty demanding release of her hand in a tense card game. Her sharp eyes and flashing nose emphasize her defiant stance as Mr Dottles hesitates before returning her hand. The scene reads like modern fiction.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Dottles
Detroit Free Press
Cuticura Ad Promises Hair Growth and Skin Relief
An advertisement touts Cuticura Ointment for dandruff and itching with Cuticura Soap to follow. It claims quick control of falling hair and hair growth, highlighting emollients for skin problems. Free samples by mail via Cuticura Dept XY Boston. Sold everywhere.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cuticura
Dept. XY
Boston
Rebuilt Love Letters Scheme Revealed
A man named Smith plans to send altered love letters he once wrote to his wife while she travels in the country this summer. The plot involves changing dates to reuse the letters for a renewed romance.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Smith
Marine Eye Remedy Co Eye Book Notice
Eye health product ad from Chicago company Marine Eye Remedy Co promotes an eye care guide sent free on request. It emphasizes looking younger by keeping eyes youthful and mentions the product line and mailing address.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marine Eye Remedy Ca
Chicago
Yale Record Quip Reflects Jones Concussion Gag
A quip from Yale Record recalls a pun about Jones suffering a concussion of the brain after being struck with an idea. The exchange plays on a dramatic line to tease the incident.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jones
Yale
Piles Cured in 6 to 14 Days with PAZO Ointment
Claim asserts piles cured in six to fourteen days using PAZO Ointment. It promises relief after first application and offers money refund if the treatment fails to cure bleeding itching or protruding piles.
Dr Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets Ady Launch
An advertisement promotes Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets as a safe tonic to regulate liver bowels and stomach. The copy frames the product as a health aid and includes a light joke about worry over trying a new tonic.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dr. Pierce
Ady
Taken at His Word I Would Go to Ends of Earth for You
A dialogue between Bho and narrator features a vow of devotion and a calm farewell as one partner pledges to journey anywhere for the other while the other responds with a steady goodbye.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bho
Denison's Coffee Ad Pledges Harder Pleases
An advertisement claims Denison's Coffee pleases when others fail. The message notes a man who aims to climb higher than he can reach, illustrating ambition and effort.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Denison
No one should envy the husband of money‑minded wife
A wry observation warns against envying a husband whose wife marries for money but fails to obtain it, implying caution in pursuing wealth over genuine union.
Light Verse Exchange On Races And Grades
A humorous exchange plays on race metaphors and musical scales. Mrs Brightly praises her husband as her bettest half while a professor jokes about grading students using the minor scale in a playful quip.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mrs. Brightly
LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE Promises Rapid Cold Cure
A vintage drug ad touts Laxative Bromo Quinine as a one day cure for colds with a money back guarantee by Grove’s. The label claims Grove’s signature on each box and promises refunds if the remedy fails to cure.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Grove
Clock Gift Sparks Wedding Banter
In a witty exchange, a man recalls his wealthy father-in-law giving a clock as a wedding present while his bridegroom partner jokes that time is money. The banter hinges on expected cash versus a timepiece.
Fixing the Blame and the Hoax of Hoodoos
A superstitious person asks if hoodoos exist. The man who failed in many ventures responds he must preserve self-respect. The exchange frames caution about self-image and belief in luck.
Formosas Umbrella Snake Endangers Island Dwellers
A Japanese traveler reports on Formosa venomous serpents, notably amarasahebl with an umbrella shaped head. The snake haunts watery ditches and kitchen areas, and bites can be fatal. A native man bitten in the thumb died after swelling and loss of sight and hearing.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Formosa
Amarasahebl
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