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Newspaper
Bessemer Herald
Location
Bessemer, Michigan, United States of America
Date
Mar 21, 1908
Page
8
A miscellany of quips and quibbles on love, money, and manners appears in Splinters. Juxtapositions about moving pictures, stage life, and quick wealth mingle with farm life jargon and light banter from a communal chat. The tone hints at a small-town column with local names and insider humor.
Notice to electors of Bessemer Michigan Gogebic county. Boards of registration will meet Saturday April 4 at ward buildings to register electors. Sessions run eight in the morning to eight in the evening at Abelmans Larson Michigan Bal lone Finnish Temperance Hall for the five wards. Dated March 18 1908.
Notice to electors of Second ward one Super Bessemer in Gogebic County Michigan that the annual city election will be held Monday April 6 1908 at ward polling places to elect mayor city clerk city treasurer and justice of the peace plus ward officers including supervisors aldermen and a constable. A bond measure of 25000 for a water works improvement fund will be on the ballot. Polls open 7am and close 5pm. Dated March 1908 City Clerk S W Guyer.
Charles E. Evans, famed old-time comedy actor, recounts a humorous road tale from Newbury Massachusetts. During a scene in A Parlor Match a G. A. R. veteran with a peg leg disrupted the action to deliver a message for the undertaker, then revealed a misdirected joke about a picnic at the Funk twins home.
A collage of quips and questions on manners, views of marriage, social behavior, and daily life. The laughs hinge on sharp wit about etiquette, gender, and common sense, with a final joke touching on work and hunger.
Prominent architect Norman R. Coulter of San Francisco praises Electric Bitters as a universal tonic curing stomach liver and kidney issues and boosting the system. A hazing incident at a Reston college reenacts Paul Revere’s ride with a white mule and Continental uniform prompting alarms. Dr Shoop cough remedies are promoted as harmless and effective with local drugstore availability. A Keystone Telephone official replaces please with ring off and calls for saving time by removing polite phrases.
Reverend F Starbird of East Raymond Maine praises Bucklen's Armea Salve as the best healer for an old army wound and stubborn sores. He also uses it in his veterinary practice. Price is 25 cents at F B Jones's drug store.
A Baltimore observer recalls George Ade joking about tourists misreading Egyptian archaeology and language in Egypt. The piece humorously notes a St Joseph traveler failing to understand Arabic until Ade quips about hiring a younger guide. The page ends with an ad for Dr Shoops Health Coffee and Jensen Lintelmann selling it.
A string of wry maxims on cooking grammar luck and social pretensions. It ponders riches poverty misers and the aristocracy of steady labor with observational humor. The tone is aphoristic noting the paradoxes of generosity appearances and fate.
Mrs J P White of Rushborn Pa proclaims Dr King s New Discovery as a life saver for lung trouble. She claims it loosens coughs quickly and cures lung disease even when hopeless. Sold with guarantee at F B Jones drug store See and 1 00 trial bottle free.
The Republican State Convention of Michigan is called to meet at Majestic Theater Grand Rapids on Tuesday May 12 at 1 o clock in the afternoon. Delegates will elect four delegates at large to the Republican National Convention in Chicago and nominate fourteen Electors for President and Vice President, plus elect a State Central Committee and its Chairman. Delegates allotted by county based on vote for Secretary of State. district caucuses meet at 9:40 am to select officers and credentials. National delegates apportioned to congressional districts with two delegates and two alternates each. counties listed with apportionment.
The article portrays India as a mosaic of diverse peoples and beliefs from Aryans and yellow races on the borders to a mix of Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, Christians, and others. It notes vast autonomy in many princely states, with local rulers levying taxes and governing with their own laws, while allegiance to the British crown is symbolized by a resident at capitals.
A virus like kidney trouble is blamed for many sudden deaths linked to heart disease pneumonia and apoplexy. Swamp Root by Dr Kilmer claims to cure kidney liver and bladder issues improving urine control and reducing nocturia. Samples and a free book offer mailed from Kilmer Co Binghamton NY are advertised.
The Washington Turk quotes ex Mayor J M Head of Nashville linking municipal corruption to corporations. He notes the phrase Cherchez la femme is outdated and urges investigations focus on corporate influence, likening suspicious corporations to hidden objects in a tale about a turkey and an old spoon.
The ad claims stomach nerves fail produce dyspepsia and indigestion while promoting Restorative to strengthen weak inner nerves. It asserts heart and kidney nerves improve with the product, warns against stomach stimulation, and offers a simple test with sale by F. B. Jones.
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