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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Benson Signal
Location
Benson, Arizona, United States of America
Date
Dec 02, 1916
Page
7
Druggists in Pilgrim Texas and Bridgeport Texas report long usage of Kilmer Swamp Root with satisfied customers. Testimonials claim relief for back pain gall stones bladder inflammation and rheumatism. Includes request for sample bottle and booklet and notes price options at drug stores.
The woman recalls warning Dorothy against teasing the cat Teddy. Dorothy retorts she will "catch it tomorrow" after the mother said she would not speak about it again tonight.
A playful item presents a quip exchange about wealth and hats where the first goat asks how riches were earned and the second goat counters by noting hat satisfaction achieved by eating the hat.
An old advertisement claims auto intoxication from intestinal poisons causes tiredness and headaches and urges a plan of hot water, Dr. Pierce's Pellets, Anuric, and ample water. It promotes kidney cleansing and says many ailments stem from reduced vitality, endorsing the remedy as effective for uric acid, kidney, and rheumatic issues.
Western Union reports Teutonic allies control the Alt river line from the Transylvanian Alps to the Danube as they press toward Bucharest. Alexandria falls to Mackensen’s forces while Romanian prison camps accumulate a standing of officers and men. The Italian front suffers heavy losses as 20,000 Italians are counted among the casualties and prisoners are taken near Orsova. Israel and allied positions at Monastir show setbacks for Entente forces along the Macedonian front. Britain refuses safe conduct to Austro-Hungarian ambassador.
In Columbus New Mexico a Thanksgiving shipment for the punitive expedition's troops included 16000 pounds of dressed turkeys 2000 pounds of cranberries 100 boxes of fruit and 4000 pounds of pudding and 7000 pounds of candy. Thirty three motor trucks under Captain W F Herringshaw moved the load with the lead trucks bearing muslin banners reading The Turkey Train.
A dispatch from Gen. Trevino reports Villa moving north from Chihuahua City toward Juarez after joining Gen. Murguia. Trevino plans to recapture Chihuahua. message relayed via Ojinaga notes the fifth day of Villa’s attack. Chicago reports stock yard orders in Illinois and Missouri over suspected foot and mouth disease.
The Louisville Courier-Journal quotes a humorous exchange about finding a hotel run to suit a guest while noting the irony that the speaker owns the establishment. The dialogue reflects a templatized clash of expectations versus ownership in a hospitality setting.
A humorously busy newspaper editor is read aloud by a reader in the correspondence column. The page also features an advertisement for Cuticura free samples and Red Cross Bag Blue promising whiter clothes.
A condemned man is visited by his wife who brings two parcels. she says one holds linen changes and the other a clothesline, noting she did not know whether the rope would be provided, in a grimly dark anecdote. An unrelated medical ad urges Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets to regulate liver bowels and stomach.
A grandfather explains an optimist to Little Edward and the boy answers that an optimist is the man who fits you with spectacles. The playful exchange turns on Edward’s misunderstanding of long words.
A reader named Prof Aug F W Schmitz of Thomas Oxkla reports decades of backache and Bright's Disease fears, finds relief after using Dodd's Kidney Pills, and claims lasting benefit after multiple boxes. He recommends the product and notes price and dealer details.
In a brief dialogue the two women joke about relationships and social standing. Mrs Exe laments a busy social life driving away her partner, while Mrs Wye counters that her own lack of company signals low social position.
A brief note reflects on how a rain event captivates observers but burdens the mood, suggesting growth from small beginnings as life advances. The imagery contrasts beauty with heaviness, implying resilience amid weather and time.
In Youngstown a fat plumber and a thin carpenter discuss a boastful mean trick by Umson. He supposedly treated a dinner guest to a supper and then impressed a waiter by stamping tinfoil on cheese and leaving a plate impression to appear as a generous tip.
A concise adage attributed to Syrus Eliot notes that true victory comes from conquering oneself, emphasizing inner discipline and self mastery as the highest form of triumph.
A remark praising Smith's humor appears amid remarks about his fall on concrete where he struck his funny bone. The exchange underscores an attempt to lighten an awkward mishap while noting the injury.
A bashful hopeful boasts he can perform many feats for a director but is asked if he can act. The director declares him engaged, and a new screen star is born, per Life.
A child and mother converse about a neighbor who warns the boy not to throw stones at her dog. The exchange reveals the mother’s affirmation and the boy’s claim that the neighbor admonishes him. The scene captures small town dynamics and child mischief.
A young man from a small country town visits Cincinnati and in a downtown barber shop he resists a barber’s suggestion to have his hair cleaned up. After several questions he leaves thinking the barber was pranking him, only to later realize the barber simply meant a shampoo.
A humorous dialogue contrasts a wife noting her husband’s office seems quiet with another remark that the office is useful mainly as a place to go when he isn’t playing golf. The exchange highlights domestic humor about work and leisure.
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