27 Jul 1882
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 9 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bainbridge Democrat
Location
Bainbridge, Georgia, United States of America
Date
Jul 27, 1882
Page
1
A collage of satirical notes on women cosmetic fashions and society from a Louisville era, mocking dressing styles, flirtations, and gossip. It parodies gossip pages with references to blue veils, broom brigades, and public figures such as Susan Anthony and Senator Mahone, plus a temperance anecdote about “the little shoes” and a comic crab trap episode. The piece blends quips on propriety, civility, and social norms in a magazine-essay style.
A merchant and a clerk recall a long running joke about spelling sugar without an h in New Jersey. The store scene ends with a quip on glucose and differences in spelling, reflecting a humorous exchange from a bygone era.
An Irish worker recounts extreme misfortune as three children die of fever and his wife succumbs to meningitis. He jokes that luck is failing him, claiming a new illness spread upon his return home and leaving a dour exchange with a fellow laborer about the dire twists of fate.
A collection of arithmetic conundrums and moral shards. It plays with sums in humorous setups: a hat, frizzes, shoes, and a comb cost 23 dollars, a man’s trust system alters totals, cats sing outside a window, a piano scene hints at five years saved, and a town saloon fine juxtaposes with a doctor’s bill as comic critique of cost and virtue.
In Austin avenue Col. Clary Hoskins laments a restless night as a wife’s quieting silence becomes an “unusual noise.” He explains that daytime scolding gives way to a night lullaby of muteness, until she suddenly stops talking, which wakes him and shatters his sleep.
In Ricamonp Virginia a week after praying for relief a colored boy named James Cole who was expelled from John Jasper's church and whipped by court order has remained mute. Visitors from both races watched as doctors used chloroform then a slight electric battery. Cole men faintly spoke asking to stop. Locals ascribe the event to Providence, opposing scientific interference.
A blind witness, led to the box, testifies in an assault and battery trial. The defense challenges the legitimacy of a blind man on the stand, while the witness explains he can describe events by sound and speech. He recounts hearing the strike and words that betray the plaintiff’s condition, noting a large nose as a character sign.
The clipping surveys wheat output in Kansas, migratory trends of Russian Jews, social shocks in America from polygamy debates to race and labor issues, and a mix of curious anecdotes. It notes U S figures on riots, yellow fever in New Orleans, and political jests, plus a tramp's pocket philosophy and local election chatter.
A Chicago schoolgirl and an English inventor entertain at a uptown party with light piano in a playful exchange about turning pages and not reading. The piece includes jests about trousers, jokes on tramps, the absent minded Baltimorean, and Emma Abbott performing a gentler Patience with additional encores and references to Faust.
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